Why not? Is it because you assume that RQ is reading this and that she wouldn't approve?

Exactly!

But kiss will just some crumbs of a post at you in response...and just keep doing what he wants to do!

You can answer blood relative or non-blood relative.

These games don't work here, kiss.

Northwood,
I have been trying to follow this post but can't find BS username anywhere. Just RQ.

Sorry, I guess the acronyms can get out of hand!

His wife is Rocketqueen. She had a thread but it's locked now.

No one here is asking for your family member's name. You could tell us the actual relationship, and NOT ONE SINGLE ONE OF US would have any teeniest clue whatsoever who this person was.

No one here has asked to share any information with this "friend"/"family member".

The hoops you're jumping through to avoid a simple question that compromises NO ONE'S identity are very telling. There is a reason you're hiding this, and past experience would lead me to believe it benefits you.

Scotland,

No thier isn't public tansportation. The only thing would be a taxi and your probably talking $30-$40 each way to and from work. You have to have a car where I live it's not a city.

KISS

It is crazy that something so meaningless has taken over my thread. It is my wifes brothers wife. That RQ asked me to talk to her and give her some insight on what I was thinking and going through in my affair. So maybe it will give her some guidance and help her connect with her husband.

Can we now move on

THANKS,
KISS

It is inappropriate to speak intimately with members of the opposite sex.
It is okay to talk to a man about marriage problems.
But not a woman.
That is how affairs start.
They talk about this on the radio show all the time.


If your wife asked you to talk to her brothers wife then you should politely decline and suggest you speak to her as a couple.

She is a family member going through a rough time. She has been a huge supporter of my wife and mine. I owe her so much. I refuse to turn by back on her situation. I'm not an expert but I have been learning a lot.

Sorry Jedi but I will not let her be brought down by the dark side

KISS

Then if you won't turn your back on her......never meet or speak with her one on one and alone. Always have someone like your wife with you while you speak with your wife's brother's wife.

That is the way to go.

If you don't like that idea.....uh......you are already headed for a bad scene. You are playing with

f i r e

You are violating the EPs you just said you were going to follow. It is your responsibility to protect your marriage, not to be a knight in shining armor and save someone else's. Doing so meets intimate emotional needs, and leads to love bank deposits for both of you.

Why, kiss, do you still not get the basic concepts????

I am not even going to go into the EP's and basic concepts you are going against with this. I think you know this, and I am sure others will challenge you on it.

However, by allowing (and encouraging) your BIL's wife to dicuss her marriage with a member of the opposite sex, you are not educating her on MB concepts.

In fact, you are helping her join the dark side.

I was asked by a friend to speak to her WH shortly into Plan B. I did, but I made clear to both this was a once off, and the reasons why. They both understood... it was the reason the A started in the first place... because WH trolled for an A by talking about his M with a member of the opposite sex. I made sure I kept my boundaries VERY high.

If you must try to save someone elses' marriage when you don't seem to be giving it your all to save your own, do it with your BIL present.

If you won't, well, this KISA deal is meeting EN's of yours and you are trolling for another A.

Kiss, you are supposed to protect you LB from ANYONE who yolu could POTENTIALLY have an affair with. Your wife's SIL is absolutely someone whom you should steer clear of. There have been MANY MANY affairs, on this board alone with "family members". YOU CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE THAT YOU ALLOW TO FILL YOUR LB.

If you don't believe us, when you speak to DrH, why don't you ask him. The fact that you didn't realize that, after being here for so long, speaks VOLUMES for how seriously you take this. Do you honestly believe that MB is the best way to save your marriage? Do you believe that following MB to the letter will allow a couple to have a loving, fulfilling and romantic marriage, for life?

And stop trying to throw responsibility of your actions off on RQ. You blamed you speaking to your wife's SIL on your wife, saying that she asked you to speak to her. Okay, I can see that, BUT IT ISN'T THE RIGHT THING TO DO. You won't be abandoning her, point her to this site, or encourage her to talk to WOMEN. How much do you think it will help YOUR marriage, and HER marriage when the 2 of you fall in love? How would that scenario look in the future? RQ would not be able to attend family functions, including weddings, and funerals. This would have a GIANT impact. But once again, you are putting someone else above your marriage.

Do you still think it is ok to talk marriage problems one on one with the opposite sex?

Do you now think for these opposite sex talks your wife must be present?

Discussing EP's is NOT meaningless.

Discussing the Elimination of Independent Behavior is NOT meaningless.

Discussing the elimination of Triggers is NOT meaningless.



Having an honest discussion, where you don't trickle the answers, is how you get to a point that you can move on to other topics.

You have a habit of dishonesty and trickle truth..... You need to answer questions clearly and honestly if you wish to make progress. Capish!

I predict in the not too distant future, kiss will stop posting completely...he's never taken the time to learn even the most basic concepts or apply the suggestions on here, he failed his polygraph, he can't be honest even to strangers on a forum and he puts a million things in priority over his marriage.

It's very said that someone who says he wants help is willing, again, to through away his marriage.

Ok I will never talk ti any female mothern law sister in law cousin hell sister mother. maybe I shouldn't even talk to my father. ya never know some parts of the world their is inbreeding. maybe I should see if Gilligan ever got off the island. maybe its free I will desert my self their. I under stand the basic concepts and protecting my EP's. I just think that this being the topic of my thread now is frustrating. I'm looking to better my self and make the necessary changes to better my self and my thread has been at a stand still fir days now. RQ was told about this topic and it was relayed to me to ask everyone if we can end this and work on other topics. It was something important to her to have me talk to her. Thought I was supposed to Show her that I'm growing and learning. I thought maybe its a test.

KISS

How does RQ know about the topic on your thread? Isn't she in Plan B?

Neither of my cars are crappy cars, both were good deals for less than $1000. One required a crap load of work and I rollbacked it out of the previous owners yard, the other has cost me about $200 and I've put 45,000 miles on it.

Wanted to add that I commute 200 miles a day, average 1500 miles a week between the two 'cheap crappy cars'.


It can be done.