No joint accounts. I have a house. He has a house. We both have bills/kids. My kids are 22 (disabled), 20- in military, and 15 M at home. His kids live with their mother about 2 miles from my house. They are 20 and 17. I gripe about their mother, with regards to my marriage, but she loves their kids.

Sadly, I am in love with who he is when he is with me,He is like the perfect person towards me (when we are together) I am just letting my mind wrap around that I truly hate the person he is away from me.A totally sneaky [censored] that is a total 180 of the guy that is with me. And, I am just unsure that if he "promised" and actually followed through with being that guy away from me that I would ever believe him at this point. Or that I would make myself miserable with worry for the rest of my days.

The entire time we have been together, he has never fought with me. Been ugly to me. When we are together, he always says the right thing. I actually tease him that he is "Mr. Manbook"because he clearly read some manual of what to say when. He knows I am truly unhappy. He knows it's to the point I am discussing us going our separate ways. I told him that I was starting counseling for myself to work through how I felt and have gone through the last two years, and to resolve my feelings. I told him I was sorry but I am just purely unhappy at this point over everything collectively. These are his 3 email responses.

Email 1:
I am with you because I WANT to be with you. I truly love you and am doing my best to show you that I want to be with you. I know that I absolutely hurt you and I know that it will not be easy to move forward with our relationship. I don�t plan on going nowhere without you. I LOVE YOU

I am truly happy with you and will be dedicated to finding us � Forever.

Email2:( I **** my name in it)

I AM TOTALLY WILLING TO GO TO (WHATEVER AND WHENEVER) COUNSELLING WITH YOU. I LOVE YOU AND I WANT US TO FIND YOUR SMILE, YOUR HAPPINESS & MY *******. YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANYTHING WORSE. WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE BETTER.. I AM DOING ALL THAT I KNOW TO DO IN ORDER FOR US TO SUCCEED. I BELIEVE COUNSELLING WILL HELP US. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU, TO MAKE YOU HAPPY � ALL THE TIME�� I TRULY LOVE YOU.


Email 3.
I KNOW THAT LIFE CAN AND WILL GET BETTER. I ALSO BELIEVE THAT HAVING SOMEONE FROM OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING TO TALK TO YOU, ME & US SHOULD HELP US FIND US.

I AM SO SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT�������
For what it is worth! I hate myself for all that i have put you through.I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!


MY problem is it smoke and mirrors like every other screw up and this is his get out divorce free card? How do you know when it's sincere?

"YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANYTHING WORSE. WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE BETTER.. I AM DOING ALL THAT I KNOW TO DO IN ORDER FOR US TO SUCCEED. I BELIEVE COUNSELLING WILL HELP US."

Do you understand that he is just buying time to keep you off his back... again? I'm sure part of the package of marriage was that he wasn't going to do those things again. Counseling is just another form of that.

LostAllTrust,

You shouldn't have had any trust in the first place. Why do you trust someone who has already shown you at least five times that they have no respect for you?

I suspect you will take him back AGAIN and in that case, I wish you the best of luck and hope that one day you start believing people's actions and who they are, not what you want them to be. I pray you do not have any diseases or children when you find out again and again and again.

He has already shown you who he is. He is a serial cheater. You have already shown him who you are - a woman who is willing to put up with it over and over as long as it comes with an apology. It is your decision where to go from here.

Everything just sucks. My heart is stuck here. My mind says run like the wind.....

I desperately wish things were different. It's sad to say that I wish I never realized he was how he is. He came in earlier and said that he knew he made this mess but wanted it to work. My heart says... what if it's true.... my mind says you got to be kidding me. How do I emotionally resolve myself. Knowing how little he thought of me at times, while acting happy is what messes my mind up the most. It shows me that he can act It doesn't help his ex telling me he never treated her how he treats me. Making me feel like total crap. Or that she told me that he talked to her about me. He really is like TWO people. He is the most perfect man for like two months at a time, then he gets caught at something stupid and I realize what he is capable of. Then to deal with the drama of these women. I hate it. I keep being made out to be the villain. By them?? Ugh.

The other women always do that sort of thing. It's some combination of ugly selfishness and the lies that a cheating husband tells them -- sometimes more of one, and sometimes less.

My advice too.

So what did you decide to do?