That's what I was afraid of. Dr. Harley advises for women to only be in Plan A for 3-4 weeks because of health issues.

Please prepare for Plan B.

Do you have children?

Have you been tested for STDs?

Do you have a doctor?

How to Plan B Correctly

Tasil, your best chance at saving your marriage is exposure. Almost every recovered marriage here attributes that to exposure. I would not get involved in any rumors, but expos� it loud and proud, wide and far, signing your full name to every exposure. You need to make sure your full name is on it so you can take full credit for the exposure.

"Yes I have contact with her boyfriend. He wants nothing to do with her but wants to keep them apart which helps. His way of dealing with all this is through starting rumors, etc."

Rumors are bad, but TRUTH is good. You need to get the full truth out there. Is this a workplace affair?

The OW is the GF of Tasil's WH's longtime friend.

Also Mel, the affair has been going on for 18 months.

Not a workplace affair although she has used her work cell to talk & text to him for hours - though about letting her employer know that since she basically stole time from them.

I don't think anyone knows they started again.

He will be going hours away to a remote place for work in approx. 2 weeks. Haven't figured out how they plan to continue then! I'm working on being able to go with him except I know he won't want me to. Hoping that the no contact at that point will help.

I worked out of town during the week for too many years making this easy to happen. I quit as of 2 weeks ago so I'm home all the time now - that makes it pretty impossible for them to get together....I'm making sure of that. I told him I wouldn't file for divorce he would have to. He said he would "but not right away". Not sure if that's because he can't afford to or if he's not sure yet. He seems comfortable with me here. We are acting like a normal married couple without sex. Actually sex hasn't been part of our life for a long time. Should I initiate sex?????? Would that help?

We've been together 21 years, no children, married 15 yrs. in Aug. - I'm scared.

Part of a successful Plan A is meeting your husband's emotional needs. Sex is one of them, and Dr. Harley says it usually ranks #1 for men.

I would NOT meet that need until he promises no contact. But once he does, you both need to assess what your needs are and learn to meet them. You will also have to eliminate love busters. Dr. Harley has written books on both: 1) His Needs, Her Needs and 2) Love Busters.

But first things first. You must KILL the affair. You will have to re-expose and he will have to draft a no contact letter that you review and watch him send out.

Exposure worked temporarily last time, so it will have an impact again I would bet. This time you must muster the resolve to do it yourself, since it was the OW's boyfriend who did it last time. Be thorough. Your husband is completely addicted to the other woman. That is why the affair resumed. And it will it resume over and over until you ensure no contact. This might require moving away.

ARe you reading our posts, Tasil? We can't help you if you won't expose the affair. Are you planning on exposing the affair?

Also Mel, the affair has been going on for 18 months.

Thank you all so much for the information. I'm processing everything and exposure does seem necessary. I'm worried that it won't help much since they have nothing left to lose. She already lost her boyfriend and mine wants a divorce.

It may not help much, but it certainly won't hurt. And it might help ALOT, you never know. At least everyone will know the truth.

Ok so get your exposure list ready. Did you save her Facebook contact list?