The female roommate works in the San Francisco office. It was a chance meeting that she'd be there. I used CardRecoveryPro.

People from all over America go there on these rotations. It was by chance that Colleen was there. Additionally, through snooping in her emails, I discovered the emails between the San Francisco crew and the crew locally. Colleen was only in India for the week that followed the trip. She arrived that weekend, went on the trip, and left. They mentioned that it had to be that weekend if Colleen was to go because Colleen was only in country for a week.

There are no other emails in the account from Colleen or to Colleen that are not trip related.

It was also only a single photo that was partially out of focus that I think was of Colleen.

So your wife said she stayed with Colleen for the month she was there. In reality she lied about that? Is that right?

No. She staid at the hotel for the Taj Mahal trip with Colleen. She stayed in a hotel room by herself in Hyderabad while she was working. I video skyped her twice a day at the hotel so I know she was in the room etc.

The Taj Mahal side trip they all took while over there is where the camel and elephant pictures and things all came from. This is also where Colleen was involved.

Well, it has been another week since my last post. There is no news to report on the exposure front. However, there have been quite a few developments on the other fronts. Firstly, as far as the elephant photo goes, my wife ended up confessing to me that she lied about its existence. She said that the camel pictures upset me so much that she didn't want me to see the elephant picture because she didn't want me to get upset about it. So, at least she came that far. She made sure to also insist that nothing was going on between her and the coworker.

We talked quite a bit that night. She said that she is basically aware of the issues in our marriage. She also acknowledged that she's seen a lot of changes in me. A great deal of improvements and she knows that she has to do some work now. She said that talking about it and thinking about it so much have put a lot of pressure on her and she can't seem to find the motivation to make any changes or do any work when she feels that. We agreed that we wouldn't talk about any of that in any shape or form for at least a week. She couldn't initiate the conversation, I couldn't initiate the conversation, and she would see if that alleviated some of the pressure so that she could work on things.

So, I've continued with Plan A type behavior, but have refused to respond to any lovebusters. Since we could not talk about our relationship there was never any "I only talk M not D" or other type of redirecting should she get mean or upset. Instead of saying, "It hurts when you treat me this way, so please let's talk about something else" I or she just said "We need to talk about something else" if either of us came close to breaking that agreement.

We went camping with the family from July 19-21. Things went very well at camping. We spent a lot of time with the kids and each other. It was a very good weekend. She even began to respond to some of my complaints about my ENs in the past. I know that a lot of people keep saying that waywards do really good on the weekends or other breaks before going back to work with the AP. I've been skeptical of this kind of thing too.

What has surprised me is that this didn't stop once she went back to work. We were already half way through this week long "let's see what happens" experiment when we got back from Camping. However, the improvements and the obvious effort to address some of the issues I raised in the past continued throughout the week. We agreed to talk again and see how we both were doing once the week was up. We had that discussion and both recognized the progress. We intend to continue with this plan. Checking in once a week and seeing how things go so that there is no pressure and no feeling of being overwhelmed by her. This also prevents her from completely avoiding the topic in perpetuity. She didn't want to talk about it too long after the week was up, but it was a substantive discussion.


I still have no proof of an affair. I'm not reallt sure where we are at this moment.

She's still working with this OM?

He is still at her workplace yes. I have no proof of their affair just a picture of them being too close on two types of pack animals.

Did you ever call the OM's wife?

I tracked her down to her place of employment. I made a phone call but got voicemail. I didn't leave a message. I need to get ahold of her without giving her the chance to alert the OM or be like hey, any idea why the husband of one of your coworkers is leaving me voicemail?

Good on you for trying to contact her. I still think it is your best option at this point. Are you planning on trying to call her again?

I do. I hope to reach her before I actually see her face to face again at one of the company functions.

My wife came home yesterday. Things have really been improving between us. She's opening up to me more and getting closer. She even made the comment that she never knew she would be coming home from India to a totally different relationship. She seemed to make it sound like it was a positive different as well.

I still have not found any evidence of an affair. I still have not reached potential OMW. I'm not gonna leave voicemail.

Wife told me yesterday that she just head that OMW is pregnant. It looks like she got pregnant about one month after my wife. She said she wondered why he didn't tell her throughout the entire India trip that his wife was pregnant since he knew before leaving. She guesses they just wanted to keep it private.

I laughingly asked her if she asked him why he kept it secret and she said "nope" and then moved on to another subject.

Not sure if I should factor his own wife getting pregnant within a month of mine becoming pregnant just before their India trip into anything.

I'm very surprised at how well things seem to be going and improving. Still surprised that there is no evidence of an affair yet either.

I'm glad to hear that things are improving. That seems strange that he didn't mention that his wife was pregnant. If they were as close as you suspected it would seem that he would have mentioned it to her.

Any luck on contacting OMW?

I have to just take my wife's word that she didn't know. I've thought about whether or not this meant that he had them both knocked up and didn't want to tell my wife or if it meant they weren't that close.


My lack of evidence on this affair could support that they aren't that close and that there was no affair this time despite the poor boundaries. The only confirmed thing was an EA with my brother.

There have been marked improvements in the last 10 days or so, but I don't know how to take that.

OMW I got her voicemail, but I haven't been calling everyday. I admit, I've only tried twice since the first voicemail.

I wouldn't interpret her not knowing about the OM's wife's pregnancy as a sign that they are not that close. If it's true, it means he didn't want to tell her because he has implied to her that his marriage is crap, he doesn't love his wife, etc (as all waywards do).

Telling his affair partner that his wife is pregnant is tantamount to announcing that he betrayed your wife.

You've got to trust your instincts in terms of knowing that something is really awry here. Maybe she's being nicer because they've agreed that they both need to get through these pregnancies and cool down a bit.

riding together on elephants and camels is pretty darn intimate. there's no way i'd do that with a co-worker or boss. it's nuts. you are not crazy!!

Maybe OMW is not pregnant? Maybe it is fabricated? To calm you and throw you off the scent?

Interesting theory. I have to say it makes a lot of sense. Even if he is not actively telling ami's wife that his marriage is crap, he is probably at least thinking it and using that to justify his actions.

Great insight Zibbles!

Well, it has been about two weeks since my last post. I have no new evidence.

We went to the ultrasound and it is a boy. Things are still steadily improving. She has some moody moments at times, but that is not abnormal for pregnancy. We've been going out on date nights and she seems more engaged.

I've lost the ability to spy on her at work. She changed her password (it might have expired) and I have been unsuccessful in cracking it since then. As of the last time that I was in there, there is no evidence of an affair.

I'm still doing plan A and waiting for her to potentially slip up. Her only response to me when she does a lovebuster now is to either cease it or to say something like "You're so annoying" and walk off for a bit.

That has only happened when she was moody and being aggressive at me towards it.

Not sure where I am in this process, but I'll keep on keeping on.

Is she allowing you to make LB$?

Any UA time?

This entire time I've been allowed to fulfill her emotional need for family commitment. I've been doing domestic support through this entire ordeal also.

She isn't big into affection or conversation. I do know that family commitment is her largest EN. I've been doing loads of that.

She readily admits that July was one of the best months we've had in years. She also says that this is the best summer we've had in years.

We were on a schedule of 1.5-2 hours UA per day M-F and 5-10 on the weekends. We also had an every other week date night going on Saturdays. We've got weddings and things to go to so we haven't had a date night this 2 week period.

She still does some lovebusters (though she doesn't really know the MB program to know what those are about). I feel like we've kind of taken a step back or so this week and last week because she's had to work from home more so I don't feel like we've spent loads of time together. It is noticeable when it is a change from the last month.

We still keep our agreement about no talking about the relationship except one night per week. She'd agree to try to spend more time with me and be open to affection and things etc. It's worked so far. Though we didn't really talk about the relationship last week.

We're still a lot better than we were before. I guess I just feel awkward a little and concerned because UA hasn't been as much and she's approaching a tax busy season so our time together is threatened. I don't want us to regress. It feels more distant even when a little of the UA time isn't spent together like it was in July. A small decrease is noticeable to me.

This isn't surprising. It may take her awhile before she opens up to those kinds of Lovebank deposits.

It sounds like you are making some good headway on making deposits in other ways, though. The fact that she is allowing SOME deposits and believes that July was a wonderful time is GOOD. Keep that up.

Any lovebusters on your part?