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Joined: Jan 2005
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Originally Posted by Prisca
I think you have made a very wise move.
Prisca - Thanks. A wise move but a very painful one. Had she not been such a sweet person, this may have been easier. But the writing was on the wall that this relationship had to end.


Originally Posted by Prisca
Dr. Harley recommends that singles date 30 people. Have you considered doing that?
Yes, I know about that recommendation. In the last 10 years, I have gone on dates with about 20 different women. I have found that each date gives me a better vision of whom I am looking for.

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Originally Posted by KeepLearning
Hi BHINWI, just a note of sympathy/encouragement. I went through something similar, where I was trying to hold on to a relationship that required more and more effort to sustain. When I posted here, I received various pieces of advice that helped me think through the situation. I probably would've figured it out on my own, but the interaction between myself and other posters helped me resolve things faster. It sounds as if something similar happened to you. Even though you probably know you're making the right decision, it still takes time to heal from the emotional investment you made, and I sympathize with you.

On the flip side, there was a poster on my thread who I haven't seen here in a while (AGoodGuy) whose standard advice for people trying to work kinks out of a dating relationship is that it should take very little work. His reasoning was that if a dating relationship requires work, then that work is likely to get more difficult if the relationship progresses to marriage. I didn't appreciate that advice at the time because, like you, I was saddened by the loss of a relationship that in most aspects was very good.

Hopefully you'll find a new relationship in the future that seems so easy it'll feel too good to be true. As it develops, if it continues to feel too good to be true, chances are it WILL be true! smile

Chin up, and good luck!!

Thank you. Words of encouragement mean a lot at a time like this.

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Sorry for your pain, but I also think you've made the right decision and I don't say that lightly. I'm glad you saw the issues and decided to be smart about it. Sometimes it hurts listening to our head when our heart tells us something different.



FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BHINWI
As I re-read this discussion from my original post, with all the responses, it became very clear that this relationship had to end. We ended it this morning. I can tell I was flailing in the water trying to save a relationship that was sinking.

*relief*


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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