Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 80
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 80
Am I imagining this, or do many single women nowadays feel less guilt about blatantly making a play for a man who is clearly married? In times past, this was not so cavalierly accepted. Yesterday, while I was bringing my teenage daughter to a medical appointment, my husband decided to stop at a local coffee shop. I met him there when my daughter's MRI was done. He informed me later in the evening that a woman he never met before had sexually propositioned him, and did not even care when he told her he was married! In times past, that would have been enough to put the kibbosh on the would-be seducer's pursuit. shocked
I am fortunate to have a husband who takes his bond with me seriously. He doesn't hide anything from me. I am flabbergasted at how selfish, callous and unfeeling some people, like the woman who approached him, can be. They go after what they want even if it means that someone else will be hurt.

How can marriages be protected in such a hostile atmosphere?


Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
A woman your H didn't know came up and sexually propositioned him? That's a bit unusual, I believe, even in today's sexually oriented world. Most affairs don't start this way; rather, they begin with a friendship of the opposite sex that deepens.

And yes, Dr. Harley has said on his radio show that there are any number of single women who would like to be married and many of them have a hard time finding a suitable male among the single population. The best ones are often already married, so....some will go after a married man.

How to protect one's marriage:

* Make sure each spouse is meeting the ENs of the other.
* Eliminate all love busters.
* Go out on dates and spend UA time together doing enjoyable things together for a minimum of 15 hours each week - no kids, no friends, just you two.
* PROTECT the marriage by instituting Extraordinary Precautions for life: shared passwords, accounting for time and money; avoiding close personal friendships of OS, spend each night together.

In your H's case, he should avoid going to that coffee shop in the future.


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
I think it goes both ways. I was just at a meat market getting jerky for my H and a man walked up to me and said, 'you know my mom warned me about girls like you, but my dad recommended them.' And then proceeded to try to make idle flirtatious convo with me. And I did have a wedding ring on.

And a baseball hat and the oldest sweatshirt known to mankind, and was covered in mud. Maybe his mom warned him about redneck girls buying jerky?

I just think the world has become very self centered. I don't necessarily think people are seeking out married folks more, but that people in general are more brazen and want what they want, and the fact that someone is married makes absolutely no difference to them in their selfish mindset.

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
My H's ne'er-do-well youngest (unmarried) uncle used to boast about seducing married women. This guy didn't want to be married; he just wanted some action and if the woman was married, it was less burdensome for him. He could enjoy the action without hitching himself to one woman.



Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
I don�t know if it is changing society or what but I do agree with you whole heartedly, that is what happened in my case.

Certainly I blame my H for �going for it� so to speak but his OW was a single co-worker who not only knew he was married but there was a family portrait of us on his desk at work so when she was in the office you KNOW she saw it but she didn�t care.

Heck even after he broke things off she was trying to call me to find out info about my hubby. My DS finally told her off.

But I think it is selfishness, some people want what they want and they do not care what it takes or who it hurts to get it and I do think society has such a low opinion on marriage and commitment in general. And SEX is everywhere; you can�t watch TV without seeing a hundred half naked people.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
To my amazement, many young women today think they are being flattered when a married man comes onto them. They are also flattered when a man comes onto them when they know she is married. I am not kidding. I can't decide if its because of cultural brainwashing or if they are really that stupid.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
I agree with Melody, a lot of women are that way. I personally find it offensive.

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by CelticMuse
How can marriages be protected in such a hostile atmosphere?

With that question, you might especially like Dr. Harley's book Defending Traditional Marriage. It's out of print but I think it's recently back in print as an ebook; you can also sometimes find a used print copy online.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 80
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 80
Re the coffee shop, the woman approached him outside. He made it clear he was married and had no interest in her.

Last edited by CelticMuse; 11/08/14 08:07 AM.

Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900
I may be showing my age here, but it is appalling to me how much tarty/slutty behaviour and appearance is the norm for young women today.

I don't see anything good coming from this.

As for people coming on to marrieds, I think this behaviour has been around for a while, but is increasing.


Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by CelticMuse
Am I imagining this, or do many single women nowadays feel less guilt about blatantly making a play for a man who is clearly married? In times past, this was not so cavalierly accepted. Yesterday, while I was bringing my teenage daughter to a medical appointment, my husband decided to stop at a local coffee shop. I met him there when my daughter's MRI was done. He informed me later in the evening that a woman he never met before had sexually propositioned him, and did not even care when he told her he was married! In times past, that would have been enough to put the kibbosh on the would-be seducer's pursuit. shocked
I am fortunate to have a husband who takes his bond with me seriously. He doesn't hide anything from me. I am flabbergasted at how selfish, callous and unfeeling some people, like the woman who approached him, can be. They go after what they want even if it means that someone else will be hurt.

How can marriages be protected in such a hostile atmosphere?

She may be mentally ill too.
When I was a teenager, a young woman pulled her car over alongside the road I was jogging on and asked if I wanted to go have sex with her. I declined.

I told my dad about it and he said that sometimes women will lure men into a motel room or alleyway where they are then robbed by their boyfriend.

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
Yes that is true as well.

I do feel that women are far more brazen these days than when I was younger and as Mel said earlier I do not know if it is society or stupidly but there are far more women out there these days that are looking for a one night stand.

I don't understand it.

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 17
G
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
G
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 17
And in my opinion women are not better off for this so called equality is sexual promiscuity.

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
Originally Posted by gardengrower
And in my opinion women are not better off for this so called equality is sexual promiscuity.

TOTALLY agree!!!!


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 894 guests, and 66 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5