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I'm sure your WH gave your address to OW because there are problems in affair land by her whining and crying about his mean ol BW. So to shut her up he gave her your address. Your exposure totally hit the target.

Try and relax and think of your self-care. Enough thinking about them. You need to think of you and your DD.

So what's your plan?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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We are going to swim class and mom/toddler yoga tomorrow. DD is with her dad for the weekend, soooo...I'm doing a volunteer activity on sat and a church picnic on sun.

Also looking for job and prepping for an interview on Monday. smile


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Oh and attending an Indian music concert with my dad.


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WH bought health insurance for me. What do I do?


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He is asking for my SSN because he already bought it. What do I do?


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Do you want him to have that info? IIWY I would not.

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I still don't have your email addy!

Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
He is asking for my SSN because he already bought it. What do I do?


I'd have your IM say you won't be accepting any financial arrangements which don't go through your lawyer. Or just flat out say you don't want him to have it.

This is the sort of stuff which requires negotiation so your IM won't be able to handle it - she should only be passing basic messages and they should all be aimed at segregating finances - not creating new ones.

Stuff like 'you need to take over the gas bill, the password is x' or 'we need to cancel that joint policy'.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
I still don't have your email addy!

Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
He is asking for my SSN because he already bought it. What do I do?


I'd have your IM say you won't be accepting any financial arrangements which don't go through your lawyer. Or just flat out say you don't want him to have it.

This is the sort of stuff which requires negotiation so your IM won't be able to handle it - she should only be passing basic messages and they should all be aimed at segregating finances - not creating new ones.

Stuff like 'you need to take over the gas bill, the password is x' or 'we need to cancel that joint policy'.

x 2

If he can't provide your SSN, the carrier may drop you. The obamacare plans suck anyway...high deductibles until they cover anything. I would apply for the Medi-cal as you intended and ignore his medical care purchase. It's not like you asked him for this. If he wants to waste his money, that's his problem.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Check your email. The address exchange was done.


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Gosh...I think she is trying to get me served with a restraining order. I heard a knock at the door but was in the back of my house helping my daughter in the restroom. A few minutes later, I looked out the front window and saw a sheriff's car pull away. Yikes!!

What do I do?! Stupid she's a homewrecker post.


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You are in plan B 500 miles away. Who cares?

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Ok, I looked online and didn't see filings for my county or hers. I'm just paranoid.


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I was going to say, I thought that was too quick. No matter what, though, you have truth on your side.


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So I am still really worried about this--especially since other sites troll cheater sites and put stuff up. I am not sure why I am so worried. Some of these sites cannot be taken down without those services.

Ugh, I know I shouldn't be so worried, but I am.


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I'm in the middle of it right now, so I'll be able to tell you more later, but my lawyer says there's no way you can be convicted of libel if you can prove you believed the statements to be true (or had a reasonable reason to believe it or something like that). In my case I believe I can prove that not only did I believe them to be true but that they were actually true. When she admitted to you that she was in a relationship with your WH, was that on the phone or do you have an email? As long as you can prove that what you said was true, you have nothing to worry about.

Last edited by nmwb77; 02/20/15 07:07 PM.

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What about the accusations of stalking/harassment?

And yes, there is proof. She sent a text. Also, I could subpeona WH, her and any number of people who knew without my interference.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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As long as you haven't been threatening to harm the OW, you're safe from stalking charges. You haven't even communicated with her directly except that one time, right? The OW in my case is trying to claim a "protracted campaign" against her, but my lawyer has laughed that off. It looks bad until you consider that these women are having affairs with our spouses. They weren't even on our radars until they inserted themselves into our marriages. Don't worry. She has no leg to stand on. I'm going to pray for God to give you peace.


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Yeah, I texted her once telling her to stay away from my husband and to never, ever come near my daughter again, but never threatened her. She is claiming that I harassed her family with exposure; but again, those were single messages with no threats at all asking them to encourage their sister/daughter to end the affair.

The bolt thing I can think of is publishing her number. That might be taken as a threat. But yeah, I haven't seen her in nearly a year, texted her once, live 500 miles away and have never threatened her.


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Thanks for the prayers!


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Also, your OW and mine would save more money by just paying to get the links suppressed or taken down. But it's all clearly hit a nerve.

In a nice bit of irony, I looked at the text the OW sent me the other day. Responding to my insistence that she was a big part of ruining my life, she wrote "the only one who can ruin one's life is one's self." I should have put that in the posts.

Last edited by PigletWiglet; 02/20/15 11:10 PM.

Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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