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I don't know. It's with my bff but I guess I could. I'm not really feeling to go anywhere anyhow... I just don't want to be anywhere near him  Cancel your trip and spend tomorrow exposing the affair. Have you read my exposure thread?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ask him to please move out. Tell him he was going to move anyway and his presence is too painful to you. I am really concerned for you if you move out because he will move that skank IN. I doubt you want to be in that position.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have read that thread but my head is a bit on hold, been awake 24h now. Do I expose and send the letters at the same time? I don't know where to send them since it's a weekend. The plan was to send it to his work, a letter to him and one for her.
I need to send the letter asap to tell him I don't want to communicate with him and tell him about the IM. I just don't know what to say and if I even want him back.
He can't move her in, I'm buying his part of the house since he wants to buy an apartment on the other side of the city.
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Put plan b aside for now and focus on exposure and getting separated. Go read through my exposure thread and start making a list of exposure targets and writing out your talking points. Does the ow have a Facebook page? Go to her page and copy her contact list and save it into a text doc.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I feel afraid to contact her man, they are in limbo between getting separated and getting back together. I'm afraid that they will separate and her and my h get into a relationship:'(
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I feel afraid to contact her man, they are in limbo between getting separated and getting back together. I'm afraid that they will separate and her and my h get into a relationship:'( They are already in a relationship! So START with her boyfriend and work through all her Facebook contacts. Can you find her mother?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sorry for all the stupid questions....
Do I start exposing today (it's 5.30AM here)? I can dig and I might find her. Can I just text her mother? I don't want to talk to her. Same with her man, can I just text and send some of the evidence?
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I feel afraid to contact her man, they are in limbo between getting separated and getting back together. I'm afraid that they will separate and her and my h get into a relationship:'( Feelings have no intelligence and this is certainly true if you think it is a good idea to help the OW an d your H hide the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy, so keeping it a secret only helps the AFFAIR thrive. Did you want the affair to thrive?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sorry for all the stupid questions....
Do I start exposing today (it's 5.30AM here)? I can dig and I might find her. Can I just text her mother? I don't want to talk to her. Same with her man, can I just text and send some of the evidence? Yes you can do that. But you need to expose to the OWs Facebook friends, your h's family, close friends. Did you do what I said about her Facebook page?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You are right, I just needed to hear it. Thank you.
Not yet, I'll start with family and im trying to locate her mans telephone number. Hopefully I can get her mothers number from him...
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You are right, I just needed to hear it. Thank you.
Not yet, I'll start with family and im trying to locate her mans telephone number. Hopefully I can get her mothers number from him... You need to do exposure at once. Trickle exposure isn't good. But you need to expose.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Should the letter always be sent to the OW as well (copy and "I love ______ with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I will wait for that chance.")?
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Now I understand why you should pack his stuff and change the locks, too bad it doesn't apply to my country. What country do you live in? It might help us give you better advice. There are european boardmembers, you might get help from someone familiar with your laws.
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Sweden, but a friend helped me search for information and I have no right to it.
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Should the letter always be sent to the OW as well (copy and "I love ______ with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I will wait for that chance.")? No, do everyone else first. OW will hear from them.
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Should the letter always be sent to the OW as well (copy and "I love ______ with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I will wait for that chance.")? No, do everyone else first. OW will hear from them. OW already knows she's having an affair with your WH. You are thinking of the Plan B letter that you send a copy to OW. You need to expose to her family and friends.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Sweden, but a friend helped me search for information and I have no right to it. You have no rights to change the locks on your own house?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Should the letter always be sent to the OW as well (copy and "I love ______ with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I will wait for that chance.")? nono, put Plan B ASIDE for now. That is the Plan B letter. Focus only on EXPOSURE.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sweden, but a friend helped me search for information and I have no right to it. I have NEVER heard of a country in the world where it is illegal to change the locks. Will you go to PRISON for changing your locks? I seriously doubt it. You need to check on that yourself. if you are told that "it is not legal to change your locks" then go ahead and do it. They say all the time in the US that "it is not legal to change your locks" but that is bullcrap. It is not illegal in the US to change your locks. It only means if you change your locks, he can MAY be able to force you to give him a key if he goes to court and gets an order. Most WS will never go to that trouble.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have NEVER heard of a country in the world where it is illegal to change the locks. Will you go to PRISON for changing your locks? I seriously doubt it. You need to check on that yourself. if you are told that "it is not legal to change your locks" then go ahead and do it.
They say all the time in the US that "it is not legal to change your locks" but that is bullcrap. It is not illegal in the US to change your locks. It only means if you change your locks, he can MAY be able to force you to give him a key if he goes to court and gets an order. Most WS will never go to that trouble. You can ask your local locksmith in Sweden. I'm sure he deals with it all the time!
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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