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What i could really use are some links to success stories bith from BS and WS. I find comfort in knowing this battle can be won, and reading about others.
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Feels like my wife is doing anything she can to upset me, shutting me out, not telling me things important to our financials/kids, etc. These do not feel like any type of progress. Or is it?
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Feels like my wife is doing anything she can to upset me, shutting me out, not telling me things important to our financials/kids, etc. These do not feel like any type of progress. Or is it? You won't see any progress at all until the affair is over. The only thing you can do at this point is cause as much trouble as possible in the affair while avoiding lovebusters in your marriage. Focus on presenting yourself as the best option.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think fighting the urge of disrespectful judgements is probably the hardest part for me currently regarding lovebusters. Last night my wife took the camper bill without my knowledge, i asked she said she did since she will be paying for it. I expressed my point of veiw calmly, but at some point i made the comment that she "just does whatever she wants and im left wondering whats gone missing or happening".
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Joined: Nov 2010
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What i could really use are some links to success stories bith from BS and WS. I find comfort in knowing this battle can be won, and reading about others. Do you have the book Surviving an Affair?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Sep 2016
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Yes i read the book cover to cover in one afternoon. And my wife is in sues shoes. Only greg is married and an expert manipulator lying to both sides. The more success stories to read the better for keeping my strength. Still reading through that post. Might take awhile!
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Well im about 30 pages into brains post. I realize my exposure wasnt the best, i trickled, then on day after got drawn into an argument tossing in some lovebusters. And promised to back off, With contacting OM parents. But the exposure message did reach them. Now its too late to fix my exposure methods. Currently i regularly discuss thing with my wifes mother, sister, dad, step dad. All of whom appear to be on my side,but they are cautious about pushing her away too though. She still hasnt talked to her dad or step dad directly but knows they know.
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I also have not confronted OM personally. Only left a voicemail on DDay telling him he better tell his wife. The sad part is i believed what my wife relayed was the result. That he had told his wife that day and she up and left him. And i never reached out to her until last week.
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Did you expose to OM's BW?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Sep 2016
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Yes i did last week, we texted all day, and then never heard from her again. He caught wind, left work early to go see her and that was the last i heard from her. I suspect he managed to flip the story on to me.
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And promised to back off, With contacting OM parents. You promised your wife to back off from contacting the OM's parents?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My message reached them, but they chose to ignore anyway so i said id back off OM parents, But that i would stay in touch with OM wife as i saw fit who noted that his parents seem to condone this behavior as they were both serial cheaters. And im in regular contact with my wifes family. My wifes sister is probably my 'strongest' alli, but she was against me getting OM parents involved, as she is not informed about 'exposure'. So i figured i could lay off that avenue to keep my wifes family on side, since it appeared no help could be garnered from his parents
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My message reached them, but they chose to ignore anyway so i said id back off OM parents, Is there a valid reason why you would say this? You absolutely should not back off until you have spoken to them. So i figured i could lay off that avenue to keep my wifes family on side, since it appeared no help could be garnered from his parents Ok, but you can't know that until you have spoken to them. This is why I told you to stick to it until you had spoken to them. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by contacting them. You can't assume you will know their reaction.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think ive done enough to crack the affair, but i think it only increased my wifes resolve to leave me. Shes been accelerating our seperation. Is she chasing him harder now? Did she end it with him but doesnt want to be with me? Nobody knows!
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I think ive done enough to crack the affair, but i think it only increased my wifes resolve to leave me. Shes been accelerating our seperation. Is she chasing him harder now? Did she end it with him but doesnt want to be with me? Nobody knows! I don't agree you have done enough to crack the affair if you haven't spoken to his parents. That could be a great opportunity and for some ODD reason she doesn't want you to speak to them. Why would that be the case if they supposedly "don't care?" Why NOT speak to them?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Why was she forcing you to "back off" exposure to his parents?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Facebook has indicators regarding if a message has been seen. And my wife asked why i contacted them. So the message reached them. People searches havent uncovered contact info, and OM wife did not want to disclose their info. OMW behavior seems odd too. So im guessing i got spun, and i cant outrun their lies to OM side. But i can make sure my wifes family will never welcome him. I made a promise and i want to show that i will stick by a promise as i havent been perfect at upholding some in the past
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Facebook has indicators regarding if a message has been seen. And how do you know they saw it? If the OM knew you were exposing, he could have easily deleted the messages. And if they did see them, then what is wrong with speaking to them? I made a promise and i want to show that i will stick by a promise as i havent been perfect at upholding some in the past What was the promise?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She didnt force. I lost my cool, her sister thought i crossed the line. 'they are all adults, let them deal screw things up.' kind of thought. I guess i backed off out of fear and made a promise because of it
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