I wish there was, but I negotiated the agreement before exposure. I will try to get that in on a modification.

WW did tell me that her father made her agree before buying her the house that she would not move a man into the house. So, is sounds like he understands what she is doing and doesn't necessarily like it. I hope he hears that her affair partner was at the house with Cameron. She is trying to hide it. Evidently, it sounds like she went to pick OM up and bring to house so that his car would not be outside.

That is an invitation to a fight. I would not do this. Instead, ask her what she wants and you will bring it there. She has no right to be in the house. And who will help her move the stuff out? Her OM? Her wayward mother?


So what is the plan now? Will you agree to support their refusal?

I absolutely agree with this Melody. I am not going to let her in the house. She would probably say I hit her.



I guess the plan is to support what the kids want to do, and tell my wife to not force them.

Boy howdy, I am scared for you and your boys. You may have answered this but do you have a little pocket recorder? I would try and keep all communication via text so you have a record and then have a recorder in your pocket in case she approaches you.

If she filed assault charges against you, how come you think you haven't been arrested? Man alive that will permanently destroy her relationship with her sons if she has you arrested. That will be very bad for her.

I have used my iPhone. I definitely need this for every communication.

She just filed a police report. My kids would be done in a major way if she had me arrested. I am surprised she didn't do it, so someone must had advised her of the consequences.

I dropped on her that I was not paying for the kids phones and car insurance. She has a little issue with that. I think she thought she would pocket the child support for herself.

Of course, I will help 17 year old with car and insurance if WW tries to punish him.

I'm a little sad that my marriage is over, my wife is an alien, and I was betrayed, but I will be better off. I look at this as another milestone.

i am so sorry. I thought on Monday that it must be a huge shock to be divorced. No matter the reasons, it is a sad thing and I sympathize with you. You have been through so much.

DS, you and your kids have my deepest sympathies. I'm hoping there are better days for you ahead.

I'll never forget the day my Dad's divorce was finalized. My wayward mother was remarried that very day. Also that day God brought a friend into my dad's life who had been through similar circumstances - over a decade later that friend performed my dad's wedding to my stepmother, and today I have a son named after him.

You sound like you have a good attitude, and I'm glad you are free.

I talked to 13yr old today and let him know that the divorce was final. He was disappointed because he wants the parenting agreement changed. I told him that I loved him and I would support whatever he wanted to do, and that I had to wait a few weeks, but I assured him that I was going to do this.

He said his mom is always angry and he can't reason with her. That's interesting that my 13yr old is that observant. Although I didn't say or do everything perfect fighting with my WW, I am thankful that my kids know that adultery is wrong.

WW got the summons for the restraining order hearing. She was mad. She said she decided not to file one against me.

WW wants in the house and keeps calling the lawyer about it.

There must be something specific in the house she wants to retrieve.

If you are forced to allow her in the house, I would make her itemize what she is planning to take, and request police presence to make sure she is only taking those items. I don't know if they do this, but it seems reasonable in a case where there is restraining orders and other incidences on record.

Scour that house top to bottom, under, over, behind air grates - everywhere. I agree with unwritten: there is something in there she wants and it's likely something she doesn't want you to find or know about. Also, make sure there are adult witnesses there - police if you can - to makes sure she can't claim you assaulted her.

I agree, there is something she is wanting. I have gone through the house, and can't see anything that she would really want unless she wants to take something important to me. Most of that I have already removed from the house. Makes me very curious. When I ask her what she wants from the house, she is very vague. I was thinking she just wants to control me somehow.

I will never trust being alone with her ever again.

I am wondering if there is money in the house. Is this typical from a wayward to stash some cash? I would have thought she would have gotten it already.

Like I said, search high and low, over, under, behind. Even look inside anything that appears to be something else.

Apparently not, which would explain why she is so desperate to get in there unsupervised and without restriction.

I'm positive she's got money in there or something of value she doesn't want to be forced to share.

How's it going?

I haven't found anything in the house yet.

WW continues to demand and threaten on other things but I haven't given in. With the uncontested divorce, we are supposed to divide things up and she has been difficult to deal with on the remainder. She continues to call the lawyer to complain.

I went to the hearing for the restraining order. She did not show up and the judge says that she was not served. She knew about it, so I don't know how that happened. It has been rescheduled.

She continues to want something from me, and will blow up text, emails, and phones for no reason. One day, I was in the middle of a meeting with my boss and she was doing that. I told her she has to stop and it is affecting my job. Today, she is being nice and respectful trying to work the remainder of things out. I'm not sure why she changed all of the sudden.

As for me, I am so much better emotionally and physically. I do not have the same feelings I did 3 or 4 weeks ago. I try to not see or talk to her and I get better every day. I can even tell that my joy is coming back.

any update? Are you ok?

DeepSorrow - I read through your thread, and I know its been a year. And as a BS I just want to say I think you did great under the most extreme pressure. I am sure I speak for many people when I say I hope you are doing well and you should be proud of how well you handled it.

Best regards,