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On the evidence you need to expose:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_exposed.html
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Many of the cases I've witnessed involve suspected affairs with no firm proof. In those situations, I do not recommend exposure. Instead of immediate exposure, I suggest gathering evidence that would convince a jury that an affair has taken place. In some cases I suggest hiring an investigator to gather that evidence. Once there is certainty regarding the affair, I then recommend immediate exposure.

Affairs are not usually difficult to prove. That's because the affair is an addiction, and addicts are notoriously sloppy in covering their tracks. They also become progressively sloppy as the affair develops. They try to hide it, and are reasonably successful early in a relationship. But eventually they leave text messages, email, and telephone records in plain sight for anyone to observe. If a suspecting spouse is patient, it doesn't take too long or require too much effort, to prove that an affair is taking place.

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Originally Posted by Conflictedguy
yeah. a story like that may work for them. But honestly. Two married people don't behave like that without speculation. And if that is all I had. Would put everyone on notice after exposure. And his wife would not just blow that off. She would then be on guard. See these morning meets near his job, his wife was already at work and he was a 1/2 mile away from his office. They would leave a lil early. In hind sight. My wife would say she is getting coffee on the way in. And i was usually on my way out to work or dropping my daughter at school. Easy excuses. NOT SAYING I'M NOT DIGGING DEEPER, but the summer schedule with kids home and neither of the wives working does not make it as easy for them. Not saying they wont meet, but they had a routine that worked. Now timing is off. I'm sure my WS will say she is going for the morning dunkin coffee.

This has been going on for a long time and they won't just give it up. You need to wait until you get the evidence to expose. They won't stay apart for long. If you expose on the flimsy evidence you have now, they will just go further underground and you will never get the goods.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Not all betrayed spouses see what is going on without substantial evidence. If there are two possible scenario's, they prefer the kindest and least disruptive to their life.

There is a good possibility that without good evidence, his wifr will believe nothing bad happened, because he will downplay what has happened ("just talked, no way I would ever cheat, her husband is paranoid").

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Let me put this another way. If you expose now with the flimsy evidence you have, you are headed for 7 levels of hell. They will demonize YOU for making such a big deal out of a mere "friendship," while they just go further underground. You will SENSE something is very wrong but since you have forewarned them, they will become much more careful.

You have a unique advantage right now in that she doesn't know that you are watching and will mess up. Don't throw away that advantage, my friend.

Get to work, hire a PI and start sleuthing.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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So what is your plan to collect the evidence you need to espose?


FWW/BW (me)
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2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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