8 years. Wow. I am pretty emotional today. I miss my H. <P>Think I should call him and leave a message wishing him happy anniversary? We are supposed to be in plan B and no contact, but many of you will remember our foray yesterday and how my H appears to be coming out of the fog somewhat...<P>I was doing so good for two weeks, not missing him and getting out on my own. Today I am miserable though. I miss him so much. Actually seeing, talking and touching him yesterday didn't help matters either I'm sure.

I don't know about contacting him - I'll let the others with more experience give you some advice about that. I just wanted to send you a big ((((((hug)))))) and let you know that my thoughts are with you today. <P>love Paint.

Plan B means NO CONTACT.<P>If you contact him, then your Plan B will not be effective.<P>Do something special with you & your kids (if you have any). Try to occupy your time and keep busy.<P>Stay strong. Whatever the outcome, remember that you will come out fine.

Hurt---stay strong.<P>Read what you have written to me. We are survivors. We will make it.<P>Go to In Recovery and read Katb's story. Remember it is a long road and this is just one brick in that road. It seems big today, but a few more bricks further and it will not seem as important.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to YOU!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR>Cali

I am sorry that you are in pain. I am in Plan B too and my anniversary is July 1. I am not planning to call my H, nor will I answer my cell phone if he calls. I have planned a trip to visit some friends so that I can try to stay busy and not think too much about it. <P>I know that today must be very difficult for you, but try to look at it this way, you are in Plan B to work on yourself and protect the love you have left for him. If he is smart enough to see the improved you and wants to come back to be an improved version of him, then you can be an improved couple. <P>If you break Plan B and contact him, you could be harming your chances of getting him to see how strong you are becoming. It takes a truely strong person to walk away and work on themselves. Show him that strong person. Celebrate your anniversary by doing something special for yourself. Let him know that even on those special days, you are a strong person. He will take notice of these things. Maybe not right away, but that is where patience comes into play.<P>Hang in there and have a great day! I will keep you in my prayers.<BR>SF

Hurt,<P>This lovely post from KatB in recovery today might help inspire you, check down lower for a link to a wallpaper I made of it. <BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/003464.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/003464.html</A> <P>Have hope, the one thing we can count on in life is that tomorrow will not be exactly like today. <P>

I am new here and have not done an intro yet, but have been "lurking" off and on for awhile now. I wanted to finally respond now to this topic as my anniversary (#16) is almost here. My H and I are together, working on our marriage after his affair. I found out about it for sure around the end of March, and my emotions and feelings have been up and down ever since. Recently though, I find it hard to feel the same blind love for him that I once did. When I tell him I love him, it does not feel the same way it felt before I knew for sure about the affair. When he tells me he loves me now, it doesn't feel the same either.....I know he loves me, but, it hurts to know that although he may love me, it was not enough of the kind of love I needed and deserved to keep him from doing what he did.<BR>So, now our anniversary approaches, and I find myself unsure of what to do about it. There are no cards that say what I feel. And it feels dishonest to give a card that says, "Happy Anniversary"......what's happy about it now? It's supposed to be a day that we celebrate the vows we made to each other X number of years ago, and those vows were broken.......even if we are going to try to work it out, the past will not change, and the knowledge of that broken promise is in my head and heart forever.......how do I address this day without making a huge deal about it? If I don't do anything, does that give the message that I don't care AT ALL? It just seems so dishonest to pledge my undying love and support to a person who could not keep that same promise to me.......I just don't know what to do or what to say or how to approach this day.......<BR>any ideas that keep me honest to my heart, but that don't hurt him as well? Even though he did not protect me and my feelings, I still feel strongly about protecting his.....I'm not vengeful, nor do I want to "make him pay", but I just don't know what to do.<BR>Thanks for your advice/support. I'll post a formal intro soon.<BR>"Callie"

HURT,<BR> mine is tomorrow and i will be a little sad, but i also am in recovery and feel my H love so intensly right now. I agree with the do something with the kids , but you are in the no contact phase so stay strong in that. I am sorry the hurt is so bad, But you seem to have a lot of supporters in here!! have a blessed day, <BR>maine<P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love