My H left me 4 months ago saying he didnt love me anymore, havent even been married 2years, together 4. We have an 18 month old baby I had post natal depression, and didnt show him any love or affection and pushed him away and he has gone into withdrawal.<P>The last month we have been seeing each other as "friends" his idea in hope his love will return. It is really painful to do as he does not show me any affection at all and does treat me as a friend. We get on so well when we go out, but how can I meet his emotional needs when he wont let me? How can I get him out of Withdrawal?

Just keep on trying to meet his needs and try not to Love bust, sooner or later he will respond.<P>

Lyndilou,<BR>Theres quite alot of us in this boat. All I can say is you need to make the most of the brief time you spend with him. Make sure you build yourself up whenever you are about to meet, and if you can perhaps supplement these visits with some cards of reassurance.<P>If you haven't found the articles there are some responses to letters which Steve has responded to in the main part of this web site. I think its in the articles section, and refers to letters sent it about planA'ing with just one partner / other left.<P>Hope this helps,<P>mands

Hi Lindy,<P>Welcome to Marriage Builders. There is much to learn. Applications applies to both of you. However, for yourself, you need to understand that while you can not force your H nor control his actions, you can learn yourself and control your actions. You have a little one that has needs regardless of how you feel. That is the hard part about parenting yet, the part you do out of love.<P>Here is the welcome package that speaks about plan A vs plan B, please acquaint yourself with this and then respond with your thoughts. There is also the emotional needs questionnaire that will help you and even your H see where your emotional needs are vs your H's. You may find them to be very very different. With this knowledge you can see how to better yourself and in turn your marriage. If your H is willing to work on it as well, then you have a chance for marital recovery. Until then, work on yourself. <P>Your hormonal changes will be in play for a while, but your motherly instincts will kick in even harder. That is more permanent. You and your H will need to weigh the parenting part with your marriage piece. Be balanced. Be considerate on both sides. <P>here is the post: <P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html</A> <P>Please take a look at the book, his needs/her needs. <P>Let us know your thoughts. <BR>L. <P>

L<P>YOU can't "get" him out of anything. This is something HE has to work through.<P>What YOU can do, however, is work on yourself and when you two are together make YOU the person he wants to be with. Realize that this is going to take time and be patient. Very hard to do I know. <P>I'm not sure how you are when you are together, but I know when my W and I were separated I came to realize that there was no glamour for her in returning to a spouse who moped, and whined and felt sorry for himself.<P>Keep positive and try to work WITH your H to help him get thru withdrawal.<P>Good luck...<P>E<P>