Hi all.<BR>I didnt come to MB at all yesterday and H had commented on it..... saying that use a net mahine at work to go to MB cause i didnt go on from home.<BR>i Am a waitress at a busy restaurant i do not have time to go to the internet machine.<P>when H woke up this morning i was here and catching up at what i missed lately.<BR>H comes out of the Bedroom and says.... i knew it was too good to be true. <BR>i asked him why he felt that MB was such a bad thing ( also LBed and told him that if it wsnt for MB i'd have kicked his [censored] out long ago)<P>he responded by saying ... i thkn you go to MB to remember not to recover.<P>Huh?<P>anyhow just a vent i guess<P>

I don't know about your H, but my H resented anything I did to help me get by all this mess. He basically looked at any sort of help as a waste. He didn't want anyone to know what he had done, basically. It embarrassed him and it scared him because he didn't want to hear from other people how wrong he was to do what he did. Just another way to face his responsibility. He also didn't want me to get my confidence back and grow strong enough to see my situation with open eyes and start helping myself. He might lose me then.....you know what I'm sayin <P>Stay with it LOTR. If this helps you get through, he should bless it not condemn it. He should be on it himself or atleast reading the books and stuff. Don't ever give up on anything that helps you or betters you. Not for him or anyone. Watch your LBing <P>Take care,<BR>Clouds

4 words...Policy of Joint Agreement. If it really bothers him...is it negociable? Can you tell him that it helps keep you focused on good behaviors and reassures you that things are proceeding normally? How about if you aren't on or aren't on for long if he is home?<P>As for what Clouds says: "Don't ever give up on anything that helps you or betters you."<P>Gee, I've heard a lot of WSs say the OP *helps* or *betters* them...it is all a matter of perspective and balance. I don't think that can be a blanket statement in those terms, although I doubt Clouds was thinking of that. Even some positive things can hurt our marriage if done incorrectly.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

Hi,<P>Similar attitude in my house also. H is home, ok recovery if it can be called that is hard...... I come to MB for my support. In the past and periodically now, I send H experiences of others that I think will benefit him and ones that I primarily have not commented on. If I have and don't want him to read it I cut and paste it to the e-mail or on a word form and attach it to the e-mail. <P>H has read some of your experiences and made comments on them. It lets him know I am not having an A at MB..... LOL!!! <P>Can you do that? I told H if it bothers him, I will stop or curtail my presence here but I need the support from MB until I can trust the support from him... Hmmm... gave him something to think about so while he has not commited to giving me the full support, I need, he understands my need here. He is leary of my icq stuff but we discuss what I do and who I talk with. I respect privacy info and do not disclose confidential info and let him know that some stuff i can't talk about is he ok with that but reassure him that it is not because I am having an A and if he is uncomfortable with that, I will desist. So far no mention to stop. <P>Wonder if some of that will work for you? You know, they (ws) think everyone goes out there and thinks like them. Hard to convince them otherwise, but I try to understand it from their viewpoint. <P>L.