I only stumbled onto this site last and in reading am wondering if I actually belong here. My H had a one HOUR fling in the front seat of a co-workers car. He also kissed another co-worker in the lunch room. Doesn't quite measure up to everyone elses story does it? In my case the OW tried to take the relationship further,saying how much she thought about him. He ran screaming. He quit his job, thankfully finding a new one with more pay and has vowed to never do this again. Although I have not one drop of trust for him right now I do believe him. Does that sound odd? I know I haven't given him the things he needs. We have pretty much neglected each other quite a bit.He kind of willingly gave me all the details of the situation. She laughed at his jokes, told him he was handsome, had lots of energy and generally made him feel good about him. All of these and more were things I had never done for him. I got into 2 years of self-pity and depression, mocking all things having to do with love, so afraid of losing him. In protecting myself, I almost did lose him. The funny part or not so funny part of the whole thing is that the thing that hurt the most was that he gave her a coupon for one free kiss. I didn't know he even knew about stuff like that.Why had he never done that for me? I know why now. It was because he thought I would mock it or laugh it off and ya know I probably would have.He was so surprised when I told him I craved stuff like that.How could he know though when for so long I had made fun of stuff like that.<BR>We are on a new road now and sometimes it surprises me how hard it is. I mean we both want the same things from each other and we both love each other, so why not Poof it's there.<BR>Maybe in these short weeks since the day I found out, I have come full circle because now I see these two small incidents as a oppurtunity. I have come to where I see the good that it has brought. It still hurts but thats to be expected. Some men have A's because they want to and in reviewing these posts I have come to see how lucky I'am. My man chose to do it but his heart wasn't in it.I know that because I see him beating himself up day after day and it's breaking my heart. I want to say good you should hate yourself but I can't.I can't when he is already telling himself that. I don't know why I posted this except maybe to get it out. I'am sorry for all of you with spouses who have continuos affairs, I know the pain I felt in my situation and I still can't imagine what it must be like for you. My prayers are with you all. God Bless

featherl25,<BR> <BR>Welcome to Marriagebuilders.<P>Yes, you do belong here. Not just because of your H's one hour car fling or a kiss with a co-worker but because of your commitment to save your marriage. <P>There are several different types of affairs. One is EA(emotional affair) which is an emotional attraction or bond with someone other than your spouse which has not become physical. The other is a PA(physical affair) which is an inappropriate physical affair. Some are both. Both involve the betrayal, hurt and pain for the spouse and sometimes the destruction of the marriage. It doesn't matter if the affair was one hour, one year or ten years. The hurt and pain of betrayal is not measured by the time or length of the affair. <P>Please take the time to read all sections of this site, starting with the General Welcome found in the Just Found Out forum..<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html</A> <P>Again, welcome to Marriagebuilders. You'll find lots of very warm, caring people here. Many will have problems far greater than yours,,many with situations less serious..but to each of us,,saving our marriages makes us equal partners in the same venture. Read, read, read and post. You are not alone....