My story might help you.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>My husband blew off the OW in our lives over a year ago. She was my "best friend", spending hours talking to my husband on the phone and IM while I was working. He recognized that from the time he spent with her he was making more deposits with her than with me, and he was allowing her to make too many deposits in his account. He woke up the day he got talking with her about his inadequacies and she asked the size of his genitals... FREAK OUT! We both did. I scolded her and she blamed my husband!<P>Anyway, we made a no one-on-one contact rule. We were explicitely clear about it. A month later, she breaks that rule and calls my husband and proceeds to "rescue" him for three hours after he had a slip on his sexual sobriety (pornography). He met her in his 12 step recovery program so She's an addict too...<P>That night he got on the IM one last time with his old user name (she doesn't know the new one) with me looking over his shoulder. He told her in no uncertain terms that she had violated the rule and now would have NO contact with him whatsoever. She then said all sorts of nasty, self-destructive stuff. and he signed. "BYE" and that was it. No more one-on-one contact.<P>She e-mailed me, enraged, and wanting me to forward her e-mails to him. I would not, but she acted like I was obliged to, because otherwise I was keeping secrets from myhusband. She freaked when I told her I wasn't sending anything she sent me to him. She called me a liar, saying I had said I was passing that stuff along. She sucked me in at every turn.<P>Then she declared war in the sex addiction 12 step meetings they had attended. He left. She then went after the adult child recovery meeting where she was a moderator and he was the founding member who had written the program. He tried to help her as he'd help any other member of the program. But she censored him, then tried to re-engage on the same topic with him. He left. He has had ZERO contact with her in five months. <P>But I couldn't leave it alone. I wanted an admission of wrong-doing out of her. I was angry, hurt, and zealous. She sucked a year of my life from me through my obsession with her. She got my attention which is what she wanted, if she couldn't get my husband's attention. Finally, I did what my husband had done; exploded at her publically, and then cut her off. I've had almost two months of peace. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Something that might help you is that MSN has something called "BLOCK" which allows you to block e-mails from her and IMs. You don't have to say anything to her. Just use the software to protect your privacy. <P>Speaking as someone who has been there with someone who has stalked my husband - I wish I had done as my husband had done a year ago - not responding to her e-mails, blocking her e-mails, and blocking her phone calls. Instead, I tried to preserve our "friendship". Yeah. I know. Stupid. She was never my friend. She just wanted my husband and the only way she could see getting to him was through me.
