</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Kily:
"She wants you to need her and nothing else. She wants you totally dependasnt on her so that she can do whatever the hell she wants to-"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep, and it probably scares the s*** out of her to realize that she no longer has absolute control over TM. Her cries of independence may be starting to get mighty lonely because ,in her eyes, TM seems to not care one way or the other.

<small>[ March 25, 2003, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: 2MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Have I told you guys how much I like you lately? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> If 1/2 of what you say is true it makes me that much happier. 2MCM, in a sense your right. Of course I want our marriage to work, but right now I know it's not up to me, it's up to her. So, I'm not stressing over it, I'm not worrying about it, I've quit begging her, etc. Would I like her to stay? Yes, but if she leaves then she leaves, there is nothing I can do about it. I know when she does leave I will backslide some and feel hopeless again, but that will pass, and I will be all right.

I like feeling happy, I like smiling, I like not being tied down and feeling trapped. This is the new me, and for once I think I'm almost happy with myself.

TM-

Amazing what meds can do! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good for you. You've come so far in such a short time.

Conquering your fears is a huge step in finding your peace of mind in a bad situation. But to do this, you have to accept reality and not fight it. If she tells you that she is leaving just say to her 'You are free to go whenever you like'. Ultimately it will be her, and not you, who will be haunted by her decision to leave and I get the feeling that she subconciously knows this to be true.

Once again I think you are both right.

Kily, Yes the meds are wonderful. I'm not sure if it's all the meds, or me finally letting go, or me realizing that she wasn't sneaking around when I thought she was, or if God finally decided to bless me with the grace and peace I've been praying for. Who knows, maybe the meds are his way of working me through this. OBTW, I read your latest post, unfortunately my words of wisdom are escaping me today...
2MCM,
Yes, I agree. I think I have finally gotten to the point when I can tell her "I don't want you to go, but I will not stand in your way, and you are free to do what you think is best". We'll see for sure when that day gets here, but right now I could say those words without shedding a tear. Amazingly enough she has decided that she may push her moving out date back from the 15th (originally it was the 1st). She still doesn't have everything she needs, so now she says she'll wait until she gets another bed for our daughter, and a microwave. Would it be bad of me to keep asking her to take me to lunch/dinner? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />