Well, H hasn't gotten the apartment yet available for October 1st. On Saturday, it appeared he was so determined to hand in the application by this past Monday. I was devastated (as all of you know) for the whole weekend extending right into yesterday. All of a sudden, he says, I said I was transitioning in November/December. We talk about him buying a bed for the apartment. He points at one in a magazine and says, I can buy that and then give it to our D when she's ready for a bed??? I say nothing. On Saturday, when he announces he's applying for this apartment, he says, sorry that this is going to cost us some money. I say nothing once again. He's a very avid golfer (we all know that golf is expensive) and our combined income/no mortgage allows him huge freedom. However, he says, golf doesn't mean anything to me. I don't have to play. Sunday, he gets a call to go up to a golf resort overnight since one of the foursome members cancelled at the last minute. He says to me, do you mind??? He's SO excited. Wants me to help him get his things together. Comes back late Monday night (calls approx 4 times before arriving and four times on the Monday). I stay at my Mother's Monday night with my D. He comes home to an empty house. Tuesday, I get home from work and he says, I need a hug. We even share a heartfelt laugh about a joke. Don't worry, I know this is temporary but I needed to tell you guys the story since I'm not sure whether I should bring up the subject of him leaving for October 1st, should I push it, should I plan with him, etc.???<BR> <BR>

You know the answer to that =)<P>Don't bring up his departure. Don't even show how bad it hurts. He knows it does and most likely knows what you really want. <P>It's fantastic that he got to get out and do something he truly enjoys. If only you could have been there with him - playing couples or something. But the fact that he asked you, whether or not he should go, is very sweet, in my opinion. <P>It seems like you are trying to make him miss you, on purpose. You specified that you weren't home when he got there. That he came to an empty house. How does that make you feel? Do you wish you could have been there to greet him and ask him how the golfing went? Or are you pleased that he has to miss you as much as you miss him?<P>You should definitely plan with him. No matter what the plans are. Be a part of his life as much as you can. Show him your care and concern. He will remeber that in November.

Dear GM, Thanks for your reply. Too bad my H doesn't really want to share any golf games with me. Maybe one day...I can only hope and pray. <P>I had to fly out on a business trip on Tuesday which meant leaving for the airport fairly early. Wasn't sure what time my H would come home on Monday but thought it would be better that I drop off my D at my mother's Monday night rather than Tuesday morning but I would have loved to be there when he got home. He's not at the stage where he would have cared if I was home or not or so it seems most of the time. In a way, it did work out to my advantage. I'm still keeping my mouth taped so I don't LB or cry anymore.<P>Hugs<BR>

Hi Terrified i was so glad to see your post, i felt the pain tou went through at the weekend and knew what you felt its just to much isint it.<BR>Im so glad you are managing to keep your hurt and tears hidden its not easy is it, i often have to go into the bathroom since i startad this plan A, keep your strength up your doing good.<P>------------------<BR>lizzle<BR>The hardest thing to do is watch the person you love love someone else