Yesterday I posted about what a god day my WH and I had together today we met at the kids game and he acted as though I wasn't even there.We spoke on the phone earlier today and things were fine. My feelings were really hurt by his actions today. It seems as though when we are in public sometimes he's cool towards me like he doesn't want people to think that things are getting any better for us or he's only there for the sake of our kids. Maybe I am just reading into this but it's very frustrating to me. One of the girls that works in his office was there and she is friendly with the OW so maybe he just wanted her to see that we aren't doing any better. I just don't understand him. Tonight we are going to the movies just the two of us. I hope it will be a good evening I'm a bit nervous. I also need to know if anyone can tell me if confused and undecided are the same thing. Last night he told me that he is not confused just undecided as to what he wants. I think confusion and undecisivenesss are the same. Need some advice on this one.<BR>cybil

c,<P>relax take a breath,<P>i would expect that his behavior in public would be different even if things were going great, even before the A, how he was in private was probably different then in public, your on hypersensitive mode!<P>undecided is when you have choices that have different outcomes and your not committing to one or another, you havent seen enough of either to sway your decision greatly one way or another.<P>confused, is what you are when you spin around 30 times and dont know which way is up. confused is what you are when 5 peolple tell you a different thing about the same darn thing. confused is an easier thing to accept. undecided means he hasnt made up his mind.<P>have fun at the movie, try really hard to be fun and see if you cant get laid in the parking lot! <P><P>------------------<BR>in loving service<BR>chaz

Don't you just love the way our H's put things. I would have to say that confused and undecided are the same (in my opinion). When my H and I first got separated, he was coming back, then he wasn't, then he wanted a divorce, then he didn't. When we went to counseling (the first session) he told the therapist he is confused and doesn't know if he wants to come back or not. When the H came over on Friday he said he wants to continue with counseling, is looking at the positive side of things and is coming back but not right now. This is so frustrating for me but I'm thinking positive about it all. Since my H has left, we have not done one thing together such as go out. Our therapist suggested a date night which we have been planning since last week and every time it fell through. We are going out Tuesday and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it does happen. Counseling is the first step my H took which is a positive and him also wanting to go out is also a positive. Right now he wants his freedom (he told the therapist that). He acts like I locked him in a cage our entire marriage life together.<P>Make the best of your night - have fun and enjoy yourself <p>[This message has been edited by ela611 (edited September 02, 2001).]

Thanks ela611 I certainly know what you mean about our situations being frustrating. How old is your H? The reason I ask is because part of me thinks my H may be having a mid-life crisis but he's only 37. chaz as usual thanks for the great advice we went to the movies it was some new age sci-fi flick "John Carpenter's The Ghost of Mars" it actually sucked but I acted as though I really enjoyed it. We even held hands. The kids are spending the night at my parents so we had the perfect opportunity to be alone he was tired and we had a crazy night last night(we played strip poker and got a little wild)never did that before. So I didn't push it. I did however show him your thread and showed him what I posted and he read it and was silent for a minute. He ask me for a hug gave me a few kisses good bye and told me he loved me and would call me tomorrow. I know I have to be patient and be consistent.<BR>cybil