So turns out she was never able to get a PFA order against me. She inquired about it but it was kicked back because I had filed for divorce already.
After telling her we would talk under different circumstances I went to the bedroom. She approached me 3 more times demanding we talk. She was still angry and calling me names so I kept telling her we would talk when we could have a conversation. She told me to go F myself wouldn't let me near our 2 dogs.
In the middle of the night I woke up to her crying pretty heavily. Came out of the bedroom to her on the phone with her sister. I took the dogs out and got a glass of water Andres she locked herself in the bedroom.

Stay home. Expose the affair! Don't let her drag you into a fight. She will be trying very hard to pick fights with you and you can't let her do that.

Where are you in your exposures?

In addition to MelodyLane�s direction get a VAR (voice activated recorder) and keep it on you at all times to protect yourself from false DV charges.

Her family and close friends know as well my family. She had told her father that someone at her work told hr about her affair. I've thought about exposing to her work on my side but not sure. The OM is a manager as well but at another location so not sure if it goes against company policy.
She keeps insisting that her wanting a divorce isn't because of another's man but that she's no longer happy or in love with me and doesn't want to continue with how things have been. But still wants to date other people.
She had said last night that given all that's happened in such a short time that it was impossible to work it out or continue being married.
I don't want to believe her but man it's daggers.

And my neighbour keeps insisting that her weight gain isn't because of all the food she's been eating.

Expose the heck out of this affair then!

Phew. I thought that was weird. From what I googled you need proof of abuse. This has now become standard operating procedure. Expose!

Use the steps on 101 exactly.

Looks like someone is throwing her toys out of the crib.

While she does that, you expose.


Hit as many people as you can all in one go. Their response doesn't really matter and it doesn't matter what the company's policy is either. You're just trying to create a tsunami of 'people who can see whatcha doin' all in one go. Her boss will probably quiz her and his boss will quiz him even if nothing will be formally done and how much fun is that? Even the people who already know can be encouraged to stand with you and join the intervention on exposures day.


Yawn, yawn, yawn. That's directly taken from the greatest hits of things all waywards say.

Just bing back with 'Honey I don't blame you for not believing a change is possible, but keep your eyes peeled because you're going to see some big changes'

Keep cool and confident and remember that her mood swings are just the addiction and shame of the affair. Handle her gently and steer through.

The crying jags are quite typical too.

I am confused. Didn't we tell you to expose at work? To expose to the OM's side of the family? Where are you with that?

There is absolutely no need to continue to give you advice if you don't take it. Where are you with this?


This is all affair fogbabble that you should ignore and not waste our time posting. We could have told you she feels this way because ALL waywards high on an affair say the sme thing!!

So, exposure???

Are you serious about saving your marriage? If so, then stop posting meaningless fogbabble and FOLLOW THE PLAN. We can't help you if you don't follow the advice. If you won't follow the advice, then i view this as a hopeless situation.

When Prisca locked me out of the bedroom I simply popped the door open and calmly went back in and didn't argue with her. I didn't deserve to be locked out of my bedroom.

Yes, yes, they all say that, whatever. Stick to the plan.

(Are you learning the plan?)

Divorces aren't amicable, so decline that conversation.

Thank you for the support and advice.
Since I've had a set back with evidence. She's rest passwords on our computers to block me from spying. Canceled our cell plan so phone records are gone. She's also rest her iTunes/iPhone passwords so I'm working on that.
I met with our pastor today and told him the situation. I've sent out PMs to our friends and extended family via Facebook/email today.
I'm trying to find how to expose on his side. I will be sending an email tomorrow to WS and OMs jobs-HR vp, employee relations manager and their direct supervisors.
I'm doing my best to get on track with the plan and make this work
After sending the Facebook messages I did have several of our friends tell me I was being a horrible person by spreading our business around and shaming my wife. I reiterated that I want nothing more than to save our marriage but the affair had to end.
One of her friends said she talked with my wife and showed her what I sent. Wife denied and said that's not why she wants a divorce and that I'm just trying to slander her. Her parents both texted me about how I was ruining her life by sending the messages out.
I didn't expect to get any responses or so quick. I'll wrap up with their jobs tomorrow.

Keep a close eye on those friends who are being defensive. It's likely they knew about the affair the whole time.

Every time your wife lies to a friend she makes pursuing the affair a little less possible.

I'm sorry you are under siege but get it all over with in one shot. Since you've started exposures you need to get OMs exposures done quickly. Call a PI if you have to.

Hi CYK, Don't let those negative responses deter you. There are lots of people in the world who believe that everyone's nasty behaviour should be kept secret so that no one has to be embarrassed - and that if people do somehow become embarrased, it is the fault of the person who revealed the behaviour, with no thought of blame on the person actually engaging in it. I was shocked to find how many of my friends and family, and my WH's friends and family, actually hold this view. Finding this out about people shows you who will support your marriage in future and who won't, which is vauable information. You're doing a great job! Keep going.

Yes. She will be mad, and you will not want to go through this more than once.

Any advice on the best way to email OMs work? My wife and he work for same organization but at different locations and doing some digging it seems he's higher up.
Any thoughts on Email wording who to send too?
Again thank you all for the help and advice.

"Expose to Director of Human Resources, a key VP and both of the affairee�s supervisors"

HR is still a good target even if he's higher up. You may need the CEO, MD or board of directors if he's super high. Whoever his boss would be.

Workplace exposure: Expose to Director of Human Resources, a key VP and both of the affairee�s supervisors using the template letter posted below.

Workplace exposure letter - be sure and send to 3 key people and cc each on the letter. Good targets would be the Director of Human Resources, a key VP and both affairee's supervisor. This can be sent via registered letter or even via email!

Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney--

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,
_________________________

Workplace Exposure, in Exposure 101

This was written by BritsBrat, a lawyer and is on the exposure 101 thread:

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and OM are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and OM are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,"