Thank you, cool. You don't know how much your words mean to me.

I saw a husband and wife at the store today. The man acted impatient with his wife and practically yelled in frustration. It reminded me of my husband and I couldn't help it - I started sobbing.

I saw another couple. Matching white hair and perfect teeth (dentures), smiling and giggling with each other. The husband pulled his wife close to his mouth to say something under his breath in her ear. They broke out in hearty belly laughs. That's all I ever wanted.

I can't believe he did this to me and to his kids. I can't believe he lied about it and tricked me into trying again. I can't believe he blamed me for having sex with her. I can't believe I forfeit a $2,500 scholarship (which I desperately need) to be considerate of his feelings. I can't believe any of this.

I had some suicidal thoughts today. I'm not suicidal. But I want out.

Hi Hershey

Good to hear from you. I relate to everything you say above.

The part about noticing other couples and how you wanted the happiness that you see in others. Doesn’t really feel like your asking for much:(

I hate the fact that BF did this to the kids too, what are they thinking in their right mind? Have they ever been in their right mind?

I have had suicidal thoughts too, only to escape the pain though. However, we know our children love and need us too much and at some point we have a great life just waiting for us out there to grab, so why in heck let one man ruin this hey?!

Lady you have got this. More hugs your way.

The weather is so awful here it has just rained and rained. Hope you are having better weather across the pond?

CoolB

Your response made me cry. I really wasn't asking for much.

The weather is stupid here, too. It sucks.

Hugs back. I know you're confused about what to with your BF. I'll write you on your thread.

Have a good cry it’s a good stress release! I cried all last night and this morning, feel better tonight.

Not so much confused about BF just incredibly hurt and destroyed about it all. Hey I am just gonna stick to my plan B letter.

I hope you get some good rest tonight as I know you had a bad night. Make time for a hot bath and nice clean PJs always helps me have a good nights sleep.

Hopefully one of the experts will be along to chat to you soon.

Take care...

Are you saying your WH was in a relationship with the woman he had an affair with? Was this before you were together?

Is she married or have a boyfriend now?

He called her a "jumper". He said it "wasn't meant to last". He seems to do that though. It looks to me like he has sex with people and when they don't want a relationship with him, he says they were just a fling.

It apparently happened sometime after we separated in January 2017 - 2 short years after we were married in November 2014. He was gone during most of our marriage so I speculate he wasn't faithful then, either. I moved to Kentucky in Oct. 2017. He left for VA in Oct. 2018. That's all the information I have.

I have zero faith that he cut her off completely after his move to Kentucky in October 2019.

I’m so sorry for your pain.

Do you plan to expose the affair? Do you have the OW’s name?

I exposed to his family and my family knows. I do not know her name.

Thank you so much for your replies. It helps so much to know y'all are listening.

My dad is trying to help and I'm so glad I have his listening ear, but I don't like his advice to start dating right away.

I do want to. I feel like I deserve it and it would keep my mind in a positive state. I've been faithful for so long despite so much adversity and we were separated for 3 years now. I have turned over every rock looking for solutions to our problems and I now know that I am not the problem. I couldn't be sure until now.

But the problem with my dad's advice is that he thinks I should date *now*, now. Before the divorce is final. His reasoning is that if I explain my story to a man, they will understand that my marriage is definitely over. This is where I don't know if I agree with his advice. That is exactly what my husband told this young lady! He told her we were separated and that he was free to move on. He sold it. She bought it.

I feel like any man who would accept my story and date me before the divorce is finalized is a man I shouldn't trust. I'm not going to tolerate a man who is "separated, but done".

In my dad's defense, I *was* telling him I wanted to die. So surely he just wants me to do anything that would lead me away from suicide. And again, I'm not really suicidal. I'm just so done with my life.

Hey Hershey

How you feeling today? Did you have a better nights sleep?

Your instincts are absolutely right. You have drawn a line under your marriage but that does not mean you have recovered from the trauma. That will take you a long time. Indeed Dr Harley advises mothers of young children to stay single until the children are adults. Blended families are very fragile and have a high failure rate. The last thing your children need is a revolving door of step fathers.

Moreover another mistake would be an unimaginable nightmare for you.