Being a fairly new christian, how do I know if I have truly let my husband go anf turned him completely over to God? I pray about this alot and still don't know if I have actually done this.
Barb
morriggs@yahoo.com

Hi morriggs. Haven't heard from you in a while, but please read what I just wrote in A/B. I consider you a friend and blessing. I am struggling with this also. Only thing I do is tell God that I am imperfect (He already knows that)and I'm giving my H to him as best as I can. I truly do now realize that nothing I can really do there except give H love and plan A is in my power. H's ability to discern b/w right and wrong, his family vs. other woman, coming home or continued separation or divorce is not up to me. When you get weak, as the mode I'm in now, just try to pray that God's Holy Spirit move in your H's life and heart. Pray. Oh, that's the other thing you can do even after giving H over to God. I don't believe that giving H over to God and stopping prayer for H goes together. God knows that you're trying just to live another day and in being able to do just that is your great struggle now. Your H and other WS here have placed many of us in situations where we need to take care of ourselves, despite our faith and love. It is especially hard for me, since I'm in the same thing. What's happened w/you guys? Please read my posts in a/b to see what's gone on here. To get through the holidays, you need as I do to give as much control over to God now. He knows we are in torment and our tears are innumerable. He knows that survival for us and even something like just being a good mom is hard for us now. God knows you. You are doing your best. Maybe like I do, try a little harder tomorrow to do your best and maybe w/each passing hour, second, or day you are able to give greater control over to God. <p>God bless you. You are in my prayers.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Morriggs:
<strong>how do I know if I have truly let my husband go anf turned him completely over to God? I pray about this alot and still don't know if I have actually done this.
Barb
morriggs@yahoo.com</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Oh, Barb, I'm so sorry you constantly have this turnoil in your heart. I think one way you will know if God is in control is if you have peace....that's why I said what I said about your turmoil.<p>I know when I TRULY gave my H over to the Lord, I had an amazing peace about it. Granted, it didn't last too long! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] I had to constantly give it BACK to Him. I kept trying to TAKE IT BACK:<p>"But, Lord, don't forget about THIS. But Lord, did I remember to tell you this fact?" I had to PRACTICE letting it go. If my mind tried to wander back to it, I would get busy with something else....start singing hymns, praises, WHATEVER I COULD until my mind got OFF that subject!!!<p>I'm not saying I'm perfect, and I never get "fixated" on what is going on w/my WH, but I try not to stay in that mind-set too long. I think it's counter-productive to what God is trying to accomplish. Try to keep a list of things in your mind that you can do instead of sitting and thinking about, or driving by, or talking about/to anyone who will listen to the "rest of the story."<p>Hope this helps!<p>Lupo

Barb--<p>I agree with what peachy and lupo have said. You will have a peace about you when you give your husband up to God. I struggle with this constantly, too because I too try to take it back from the Lord, and am constantly giving it back to Him again and again. I find the most peace when I realize that it is not my H whom I am trusting in, but in the Lord Himself. I will get that panicky feeling, and that is when I know that I am trying to do things myself. The Lord is your source of everything......You will know when you have given your h up by your actions when he is "not so nice" to you. It doesn't hurt like it used to.......know what I mean? <p>I think you are doing an OUTSTANDING job in your situation!! Your miracle is coming very soon. Don't forget that, ok?<p>I pray for you constantly!<p>Hugs,
Krystal

Well here's a man's perspective. It's the same. I have to let go of my W on an hourly basis. Then repent for not trusting God. However to deal with the depression & Anger I'm on meds to calm my nerves. For that I'd consult a Christian doctor. Praise God I've got one. And pick some scriptures to pray. Like the one in Timothy - God has not givenus a spirit of fear but He has given to us a Spirit of peace, love, and a sound mind. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

God bless you Jerry! I love your quote at the bottom of your post. Believe that with 100% of my soul too. Hardest part of getting on your knees w/God is losing your pride and truly humbling yourself before our Lord. I have a Christian physician and nurse practioner and she the nurse even cried w/me during my appointment last time. She had gone through same situation last year and could not have made it w/o God's presence there. I am also taking the meds too, and they are finally beginning to work. God bless you all--Morriggs, hang in there. Was on my knees today and you were lifted up my friend.

Hi Barb,<p>I think we have a hard time giving our husbands or wives over because it feels like we're giving up.<p>I almost had a breakdown last Friday and that woke me up. Sometimes you do have to defend yourself I think. If you can't function, can't work, can't sleep, can't be a good mom or friend because you are so upset over your situation, it's time to pass it over to God.<p>I cried my guts out in church just yesterday (luckily I was half an hour early by accident so nobody really saw me.)<p>I think when we feel all this we are being messed with by the enemy. Call out to Jesus and ask his blood to wash over your sins and your husband's sins.<p>I think this is the hardest part - dealing with the reality that he is gone, that he doesn't currently want to come back and that we are not free to go out and find another. That to me is the hardest part. I asked the Holy Spirit to please give me the grace not to desire any other men, and to show me that our wedding was sealed in Heaven. I need that reassurance if I am going to wait or I will drive myself crazy.<p>Today I feel MUCH better. Much more rested and relaxed, like the Doberman Pinscher who had been trying to get me is finally leashed. <p>That's definitely the feeling of grace I was looking for.<p>All these years I thought I was a good Christian but now I see that Jesus wants to penetrate my heart all the way. I have to pray all the time for forgiveness; He is kind of revealing all this stuff now.

Barb, I think you are a great Christian and a great friend. I remember your messages when I felt so terribly alone. You ask for the grace you need and you will receive it in perfect time, and you will only understand AFTERWARD how perfect the timing was.<p>Christmas is coming. Let's all focus on the Lord, not on our spouses. Let's celebrate the real meaning of the season. If our spouses' hearts are turned we can celebrate that too but they are not the center of our life anymore, Jesus is and Jesus is the author of Joy and Life.<p>God bless you and you too, Lupo, who I miss! and everyone on this forum. We are blessed to have each other, blessed to have our faith, blessed to have food, blessed that so far we are not in a real war, some are blessed by children. We are even blessed by this trial which has matured every one of us.<p>Merry Christmas to everybody!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Tryingtohope:
<strong><p>I think we have a hard time giving our husbands or wives over because it feels like we're giving up.<p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>THERE's the key, I think!!<p>I'm struggling with this very thing right now!! When I'm asked by God to "give him to Jesus" it feels like I am GIVING UP.....<p>HOW to know the difference? What does the one or the other feel like?<p>Thanks, anyone.
Lupo

Dear Barb, we all struggle with this. Its a daily thing and when things seem to get better, thats when i take it back and tell God i think i can handle it from here(unintentionally) then wammo, somethings goes south and back on the rollercoaster ride from hell.
Dont feel like everybody else has got it going on and have figured out how to permenantly give WM's to God. I dont think its possible, while we are in the flesh and have an enemy whom is relentless. Some days i have such a peace and calm knowing its in Gods hands and havent a care in the world, other days i find im holding on so hard i want to die and cant seem to let go. Ive done the im tired of waiting God! So i will do it my own way, and i always failed miserably.
I wish i had more answers, but i dont. Staying close to God is the only way and im having a hard time doing it lately. I guess we have to keep fighting and never give up on one hand and let go on the other. It is so hard to stay in today. I know its all i got but i still worry about tommorrow too much. All i can say is God got me this far and He will bring us all the rest of the way. Your in my prayers.
Mark

Mark, as usual you are full of wisdom. <p>Barb and Lupo and all, maybe we know we have given our spouses over to the Lord when they don't affect our mood and our plans. We plan to allow them to come back - don't get me wrong. But they are not the only factor in our plans. We are able to live full lives, to have parties, to have friends (same sex, no dating), to raise our children in the Lord, to worship freely, to build something with our lives even without our spouses. <p>Letting go of them completely isn't necessary, I don't think. But we have to stand up for what we believe in and testify with our very lives as to the vow of marriage. This is the real challenge, at least for me. This means no space for another, although our spouse is currently absent.<p>We do have to trust in God.<p>Can any one of us say we haven't grown up? Haven't become better Christians? Haven't learned more patience? Haven't grown more humble? Haven't learned to rely more on the Lord? Learned to be generous? <p>I can say from the replies I read that yes - we are growing. It is tough, tough, tough but we are growing.<p>When we have reached the right level of growth, I think the Lord is going to restore our marriages. He is demanding perfection of us. He needs witnesses. I guess we are those witnesses, everybody. It's a tough job, but we are called.<p>Lord, give us the collective strength to desire to do Your will, to discern Your will and to trust in You completely, while using all the gifts you have given us for your glory. Help us to help each other bear this awful trial and find joy in You and in our newfound, powerful relationship with our Creator. For if you, the Lord our God are with us - who can be against us? I ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.<p>Amen.