I greet you in the Name of Jesus! All genuine and powerful prayer warriors needed--come one come all:-))))) Not sure if there is enough space in this little box to tell my story, but I shall try. My husband and I have been married 1 year and 8 months; dated 1 year before that. He left me 2 1/2 weeks ago:-( There is no doubt that the love is still there. But, we are fully aware that love does not conquer all. We married in FL where we were living separately at the time. I lived in NC prior to this and felt the calling to return to my church there, as I am an Associate Minister. Though, I went about this in the wrong manner. I approached this issue w/ an "I'm going w/or w/o you attitude." That started the resentment right there. Well, because he loved me and knew he wanted to be w/m forever came w/me. I am a prior military gal and am very accustomed to moving around. Very adjustable. My husband is 2 years older than me, but never been in a position to have to pay all bills on his own, etc, w/no family assistance to fall back on. Don't get me wrong--he's extremely independent, but when it comes to advice I feel he's been over-reliant on his mother (yep, the in-law issue..lol!) Anyway, we've been in NC for 1 1/2 yr and the transition has not been an easy or a good one for him. I, inturn, was not very understanding to this issue. For months on end now we've done nothing but fight all day every day. We needed a translator just to say the weather was nice outside:-( I said all that to say that my husband is now back in FL and "UNDECIDED" on the issue of us. Hmph! I know God's will concerning our marriage. I know that my husband has a lot to sort out. Many, many emotions. You know you hear testimonies about people that had afflictions healed instantly? Well, I can tell you true as I'm sitting here that God instantly opened my eyes to my part in the demise of this relationship and I have been on a crusade ever since to re-align myself w/His will, trusting that all else will follow in His time. So, w/ that enlightenment--I am doing much much self-analyzation and correction. I have even shared w/my husband that I will move to FL in June (our lease is up and other circumstances would keep me here in NC until then) if that is what it would take to make this marriage work in his eyes. Though, that is 7 months away. 7 months to put the healing and growth of this marriage on track. I know that we could both do much work on ourselves in the meantime, but this healing and growth should be together...the space in time and miles is an allowance for way too many more things to enter into the equation. I hope that none of you have gone blind from reading all this. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated!! For my patience, and for God to touch my husband's heart and mind to where he is no longer "UNDECIDED" so that we can begin to travel that journey that God has set aside for us...together! Thank you!!!!

first off i am sorry for your situation. was this the first marriage for both of you? Not to mince words, God intended for you husband to be the spiritual leader of your family. If he did not want to come to NC then you should have stayed in Fl. Have you been practicing 1Peter 3? God wants you to be a helpmate to your husband, not a slave or his boss, military gal or not. While you may be more religious than him, he at least deserves the chance to fulfill the role God gave him. It can only build him up in your eyes and will result in you being higher in his.

Thanks for the response luvmyhubby~~hopefully, you can find a moment to uplift us in prayer. As I stated, the Lord instantly opened my eyes to my faults and contributions to the current state of this situation. Yes, what you mentioned were among them. Again, prayers are what is needed. Thank you and God Bless.

Min,

Welcome to the board.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For my patience, and for God to touch my husband's heart and mind to where he is no longer "UNDECIDED" so that we can begin to travel that journey that God has set aside for us...together! Thank you!!!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dear Lord,
I pray for this W that you give her patience in this situation. Help them come together as a team and decide that their marriage can work. Give them both hope in their hearts. Breakdown the barriers that have been built by the conflict they had with each other. May the joint healing begin today. In Jesus Name, Amen. LW

Thanks for the welcome LW and also the prayer!! I appreciate it greatly!! I see that you are a major uplifter here! God Bless You and I'll keep you in my prayers as well!!! Min

Hey min,
Just had an excellent sermon on Sunday about the Call of the Lord and relationships going hand in hand. Definitely, not always easy, but the Lord has always been in favor of the sanctity of the family. The example that was used was Abraham/Abram when God called him to move and take his family with him. It is "easy" to want to instantly follow the greatness of the Lord's plan for us, but leaving our loved ones in the dust, or having such a divide result, I wouldn't think, could be fully what the Lord had in mind. With such love and such a tie, there must be a way! I wish you the best and pray for you! God Bless!
C. G.

Thanks angelheart! And--Anyone that is reading--if you wouldn't mind putting in some extra prayers for the restoration of this marriage this week. We spoke at length on the phone tonight--and I have asked him to come back (even if it is just temporary until our lease is up in June)this weekend. There are classes starting up at a church that he and I have both enjoyed and I expressed that this could be the beginning of the walk down the path the Lord has for us. Your prayers are appreciated! Thanks! and God Bless!

Hi Min! I was very thrilled to read your last post that you two talked! Praise the Lord! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I want to pray with you but also ask you, is there any way that you can leave to go to FL now or do you have to wait until June? Perhaps you should be praying along those lines?

My husband and I are very recently divorced, and I am praying much like you, for reconciliation! And I was somewhat like your husband... I moved from CA to MN and boy did I hate it (sorry to anyone who is from MN! Nothing personal! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> which caused my husband to feel very downcast. I did not submit to God or to my husband. Boy have I learned alot, much as you have. So I can kinda relate to you! God wants to heal your marriage without a doubt! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Here is my prayer for you:

Dear Lord,

Heal this marriage! Where there is bitterness and resentment, bring forgiveness. Where there is stubborn pride, bring humility and submission. On both their parts.

Father, you command us to first submit to you and then to each other. And for us wives to submit to our husbands... to not be stubborn and demanding of what we want, but to allow our husbands to be in a position where they feel respected, esteemed, and honored. Please, give this dear woman the wisdom she needs to make her husband feel that way.

Lord, I also ask that you would provide a way for her to return to FL sooner than June. I pray that you would also humble her husband so that he will trust her. Lord, soften his heart and give him a desire to fight for this marriage.

I also pray that he would leave his mother to cleave with his wife. May he consider his wife's needs and desires above his mother's. Give him the confidence he needs to do what is right.

I pray that this husband would go to NC this weekend and that you would bless that decision! May their time together be so filled with fun and laughter and love that they will have hope and that they will draw close together. May there be no arguing and animosity but only compassion and tenderness and forgiveness and love.

Lord, I pray that Satan would have no influence in these two people's lives and marriage, and I rebuke him in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ! I pray that this would be a marriage that will glorify you Lord and that would bless others. I pray that you would remind these two people of the vows they made and that you would help them persevere and to determine to keep those vows.

May she meet his needs and may he meet hers, and when they fail, may there be forgiveness and grace.

Restore the love they had in the beginning. May this man find Godly mentors to mentor him and to help him become the man you desire him to be and the man his wife needs him to be. And may this wife also respect her husband as he needs her to. Surround them with Godly counsel and may the body of Christ keep them accountable and uphold them with encouragement and love.

I claim your promises for this marriage Lord! You are an almighty God who can do all things and you hear our prayers and answer them! Do a mighty work in this marriage Lord and may it be one that lasts the test of time!

I pray all this in the name of Jesus Christ,
AMEN!

Keep us posted Min because I am excited to hear about how God is going to work in your marriage! Don't get discouraged by any setbacks either. Persevere and be patient as you wait for God to work!

From Your New MarriageBuilder.com Friend,
Debbie

p.s. Are you two going to counseling at all? I think that could help.

James 5:16 "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Debbie~~I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that sincere and strong prayer! I felt it to my very bone! I am encouraged by your support! I cut and pasted it to my husband's e-mail, too. I have cried out to God so much since Al has been gone. I cry out for patience and forgiveness for trying to do things on my timetable. I will indeed keep you posted! And, thank you again! You have touched my heart deeply...to know that a total stranger cares and supports like you have shown! God Bless You--You are appreciated!! Min

Debbie~~I forgot (oops) that I didn't answer your question about counseling. I have been seeing one through my job, which will be ending next Thursday. Very bad timing. BEFORE I knew Al was leaving I had put my notice in at work that very day. I even humbled myself to ask for it back (when I had already been told that happened in the past and they said no) because I figured if I was moving to FL that I need to save some $$. Well, they said no. I was not heartbroken. I will be ok financially. He still pays 1/2 rent and I take care of everything else. I go to school FT and get paid via the GI BILL from the military. It's not much, but it will pay my bills. I'm planning to seek employment after the New Year. I'm taking a well-deserved break. So, I will not have health insurance after I'm gone from my job. I will check into the possibility of counseling at this new church that I'm attending. Thanks again! Min

oh my goodness Debbie~~I'm sorry, I keep forgetting things...about going to FL earlier. I can (and plan to) visit but cannot go to live. Because I put my notice in at work, my ONLY income is from the GI Bill that I mentioned. That is how the bills will be paid:-) :-)

Min,

I am glad you were encouraged by my prayer for you. My husband and I were divorced only about 3 wks ago and I think it is only because of my own pain that I can empathize with others like you. I now understand how God uses our sufferings to help us minister to others.

My husband and I also have great distance between us. He is in MN and I moved back to CA where I am from. (sigh). I can really feel for you! Physical distance is scary because you are not together, but I know that with God ALL things are possible!

I will pray that God brings your husband back to NC and really lays that on his heart. Keep loving him and praying. God's desire is to bring good from this in both your lives. His desire is also to mature you both through this for it is in the trials in which we persevere that we mature and gain Godly character.

Hang in there Sister! Your faith is going to grow leaps and bounds through this as mine is! But boy is it hard on the emotions sometimes! Keep searching your heart and asking God for wisdom. Be humble before Him and focus on your own self and becoming the woman He desires you to be. All of that will be very BEAUTIFUL to your husband! You cannot change your husband, but you can change yourself.

I pray wisdom, strength, courage, peace, and rest for you because I know these are all things you need! Prayer is very powerful! Have faith! I know God hates divorce and He wants your marriage healed and better than ever! Your husband must be willing though and that is what I pray... that you both will make a firm commitment to your marriage (it sounds like you have?) and that God will bless that.

"Lord, work in this man's heart and speak to him. May he not be able to get his mind off of his wife and what he needs to do to save this marriage. Humble him and draw him to you. May the option of divorce be repulsive to him and may he desire more than anything else to work on his marriage! Amen"

I feel for you and will keep checking back. While you are not working, it will be a good time for you to read books, study the Word, be involved in church, etc. Have you checked out books and websites of James Dobson and Gary Smalley? Those are pretty good.

I also think you should still talk with a couselor or pastor. Maybe a pastor? That way it'd be free. Also... letting your husband know you are going to counseling will show him how you are serious about changing.

God bless you today!

Hey Debbie!! I can't thank you enough for your encouraging words:-)) We all need them!! Ya know, I was thinking--if you and I are going to correspond regularly--would you mind passing me your e-mail address and we could do it that way vs. the message board?? I'd appreciate that! Yes, I am looking forward to the time when I'm finished w/my job and have time to do some "house cleaning"--both literally and within:-) Today (actually yesterday now) was a very, very blessed day for me! I am overjoyed to report that I became alittle bit closer to God. Yes, this should happen everyday, but TODAY was something else! Glory to God! I have recently changed churches, which I've never done in the past (except when I moved). I'm very pleased. I'm being fed:-) And, the people are great. I'm looking forward to beginning to fellowship w/the women groups soon:-) Al knows that I'm seeing the same counselor that him and I saw together once. I think Al is very afraid to give it another shot. He HEARS my words, but I think he wants proof 1st. I shared w/him that things don't work that way. The only way he's going to really experience that for himself is to step back into the situation. And, I don't even think he's noticed that I am speaking to him differently already. That is all ok. I'm just trusting in God for all of it!! I bless His Holy Name!! Guess what the very 1st Scripture the Pastor opened up his message w/tonight!?!? 1 Peter 3:1!!!! WOW!!!! I said God I HEAR YOU!!!! Not only do I hear you, but humbly I thank you and will obey!!! I couldn't believe it after the day that I had that was the very 1st thing he said!!! God Bless You Debbie!! You and your situation are in my prayers! Like, you said--boy do I know about those emotional days! UGH!! Also, YES--the trials that we go through aren't about US sometimes...we are to allow God to get the glory through helping others!! And, I thank you for allowing God to use you!! Talk to you soon! Min

Hi Min,
You sound good! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I think there are some things we share in our situations. My husband is also scared to trust me and says he wants "proof". It sounds like you and I are both desiring to win our husbands back but our husbands are not trusting of us. Maybe we can be an encouragement and support for each other! ***edit***