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#348937 05/14/02 11:00 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 4
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My hubby and I disagree on this issue and I am wondering if I am in the wrong. I think it is wrong to have friends fo the opposit sex when you are married. My husband sees nothing worng with it. It has caused some major problems in our marriage because of things he has done. An example would be on my birhtday he took a lady friend with him to pick out my birthday present. I had told my hubby that I didn't want anything but he insisted on getting me something. They were gone all day, he took her out for lunch and they spent time walking the malls ect. I and the children were home painting the house. When they got back. They gave me my present. It was a stupid bird! The lady he took with him loves animals, I don't! Needless to say she ended up getting a $550 bird just because I didn't want to have to take care of the stupid thing. The same thing happened at Christmas, same lady, this time they got me some jewelry, the necklace was chosen because she likes hearts. The day they were buying the Christmas gift he took her out to lunch and had the nerve to call me while they were on the way home and tell me that he wanted to take her out for a stake dinner but she wouldn't go. There have been other things like this throughout our short marriage. I think this is asking for trouble. He has stopped this kind of behaviour but only because he knows I don't like it. I get the feeling (he mentions it every once in a while) he resents me breaking up all of his friendships. Please tell my if I am off in my thinking. My basic thoughts are if you are married you are married, period! Your time and friendship building should be with your spouce. It's not that I think you should never talk to someone fo the opposit sex but to be buddies I think is a little out of line.

Joined: Aug 1999
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Hi,

You might want to try this on the Emotional Needs forum, since this one is soooooo quiet! Hardly anyone comes here...

But to answer your question: I agree with YOU.

You can be aquaintences with people of the opposite sex, like with co-workers, but NOTHING PERSONAL AT ALL - no marriage talk, or anything personal. Too easy to cross a line.

Anyway, repost this on Emotional Needs. It's super busy there, and you'll get lots of replies.


Joined: May 2002
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I agree with you totally. It's okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but you should not spend time with them alone. It's even better if you spend time with your spouse and another couple....not someone of the opposite sex. Good luck with the odd presents.


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