After going to sleep on the couch last night (me), I was curious what H would be like when he got home from work. I was still hurting and needing to talk but didn't want to push. There was an undertone of what happened last night, but he didnt' appear anxious to discuss it. Finally after a couple of hours we did talk about it. <P>Apparently, when he said "ok"...that meant "Ok..I will fix all that behavior you said was unacceptable and become a better parent." That was supposed to be the end of it. I needed to talk more, mostly for my own sense of resolve. It always seems like there's an underlying resentment for asking him to change something. I try to be respectful when I can. He got frustrated and said he just didnt' need to spend 2 hours talking about the same thing he agreed to 2 hours ago! I said "is it that painful to just listen if I need to talk?" he said, "when you go on for 2 hours, YES!" (this was in a shout). I said ok, got up and went about my business.<P>Now is where I fight my human nature about how to handle it. The dominant part of me wants to play this game where I begin to live my life independently of him to show him how it feels to be "left out". I don't need him, blah blah blah. Never try to confide or talk to him again. Once bitten twice shy, etc. (more like a hundred times). Besides the fact that this just hurts too much and I don't want to ever repeat it.<P>Tomorrow will come and he will want to go on with life. As if nothing happened or at least as if it was resolved. No "i'm sorry" (unless I'm the one sayign it), no nothing. NOt even an issue anymore about who's right...how can you just let someone you love hurt? <P>Anyway..tonight's sermon was straight from God. "submissioin to authority" and how it doesn't mean what we think it does. How God places those in authority and how we need to trust Him. "You don't think I have enough power to heal this? I made the moon and stars and the love you share, by the way, and you don't trust me to take care of it?" <P>Another thing...I think H thinks me visiting this forum makes me unhappy...seeing all the things he should be doing...LOL! Most of the wives here are UN happy! Expressing what's NOT beign done, not bragging! lol!<P>Please pray that I will stop focusing on myself and learn to trust God. Since H isn't responding to anything, it has to be me. The problem MUST be with me. I am too tired to know anythign else to pray for.<P>Thanks<P>------------------<BR>"Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...LOVE NEVER FAILS..."-ICorinthians13:7,8

God does challenge us to take the logs out of our own eyes before trying to pull a splinter out of another and so perhaps this is an opportunity for some interspection and see what the Spirit reveals. However, He also said husbands are to treat their wives as Christ did the church. If that be true, then just as Christ listens to our every prayer, every utter of our lips, so should our husbands.<P>Perhaps if he feels you are being repetative, then you need to journal first so that you have your thoughts very concrete. For him to assume that you know "Okay" means I will take care of it, is not treating you as the weaker vessel, the fine china of his life. By all means look inwards, but don't assume that all problems are your fault. We are all sinners and in need of forgiveness. How does "Okay" share what steps the two of you will take so that discipline is consistent between the two of you and less confusing to the child(ren)? As you are taking the steps outlined in Chapter one to make your home a sanctuary, use that time to pray without ceasing, to lay your requests before God to search you and to reveal character defects that He sees as necessary for change and pray for the strength and motivation to address them with the boldness of the Lord. Pray for your husband's mind, emotions, etc. so that the two of you can become one in the Spirit. He will make things clear to you. Please just don't assume that all problems are your fault.

I absolutely agree with Sue.<BR>Learning to trust God and desiring a closer walk with Him just for the sake of who He is, is the main piece of these trials for us. God wants you to find all your needs met in Him. He wants you to completly depend on Him. When You do that then He can start to give us back the desires of our hearts. If you don't know how to begin, then just tell You Father that. He is waiting for You to surrender to Him even Your inability to surrender to Him. I know because I have wrestled with this issue for 5 long years. Slowly piece by piece He has wrestled control away from me over my h, this situation and my own life. He is God and He is more than capable of fixing anything we take to Him. He is working in your life. Instead of telling your husband what you want him to change, go before God and say, Lord, change me, and then pray for your husband. God is the only one who can change your husband.<BR>Trust Him.<P>Lord, we lift delivered and her husband up to You. Lord, move in delivered's heart to seek You with all her heart, spirit and mind. Lord, create in her a thirst for You. Lord, let her surrendder herself and all her needs at Your feet. Lord, You will work on her husband as she comes to You in prayer and praise. Lord, we adore You. We thank You for Your most precious Son and we marvel at the kind of love that would sacrifice a son for his unsaved and sinful children. What marvelous love is this!!!! In the name of Jesus, Amen....