Lord Jesus<p>Please help Terri<p>[ December 11, 2001: Message edited by: trustntruth ]</p>

Terri<p>some husbands are so callous - I understand<p>you were betrayed by your husband and by this woman<p>but your husbands ATTITUDE is what is the WORST!<p>I'm praying for you - you don't deserve this <p>Lord, please be with Terri right now<p>Keep talking to us Terri!

Terri<p>You work with your husband - so why is he blowing up because you didn't go to work?<p>I don't think work is a good place for you right now, you need a hug from a friend or someone who really cares<p>your husband is acting like a husband in the fog<p>Are yo okay?<p>TnT<p>Lord, please be with Terri, keep her safe

Terri<p>It's been 7 minutes since we've heard from you,
we are very concerned about you<p>Lord
Please be with Terri, In Jesus Name
Amen

Yes I work with him He has his job he is in management at ford I run my own company. When gets off work he come to the store and does the book work. If I'm not ther the employees have nothing to do. Ok I undersand that. But i sill ccould not go. I almost lost everything after the affairr i did not go for almost 3 months btu took 4 months for me to go back that is only because my new build was finished. I still to this day can not go insisde the old build since it has not sold yet. He told me what rooom they did it and what flloor . I can't ber it. The buildin is just 2 locks from here. But you know thats not it right?

you know i am concerned about me
Lord I do want you here tonight. I wish I could just call up abest friend And say hey I need you tonight but I have not shared this with no one except with my kids thy have been through so much. 2 of them where there when his all happen. they know my pain.

Well, sheesh - how unrealistic is that to expect someone who is hurting as deeply as you are to go to work? <p>I couldn't do it, and I sure don't blame you for not going to work. <p>Has your husband always been munipulative? 14 years is a long time. Was he always so deceitful? Was this the first time he had an affair, or the first time he was caught?<p>YOU aren't the bad guy, Terri <p>Lord, be with Terri and keep her safe, comfort her <p>For god doesn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind<p>(((((terri))))))<p>(that is a cyber hug)

Terri<p>Sometimes in our worst moments - it feels like there is no one to turn to<p>But Jesus is with you, Terri<p>He says he will never leave you or forsake you<p>He saw what happened to you, it broke His heart too<p>Terri, you aren't alone - your best friend is there with you right now, His name is Jesus<p>Call out to Him and tell Him how you feel<p>(but don't forget I'm out here in cyberworld waiting to hear from you, okay? )

Lord God,<p>I'm calling out to you for Terri! Jesus, you know exactly the despair that Terri is feeling!<p>Lord, I ask you to give her POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND, Lord, I rebuke that fear in the name of Jesus<p>Lord God, you say where ever 2 or more are gathered in your name, there you are also<p>Father, I pray that Terri can feel your presence, Lord<p>In Jesus Name

I don't think he thinks i hurrt. He sees the ears he sees me hold mt hands over my ears and he keeps it up like I am supose to admit he is right. I can't he is not a;ways liek his we had a very good day yeaterday. I interuped his movie then bang. Then all i can do is go to another room and cry I don't say nothing back. but the he won't let p He just syas hee we go again. Feel sorry for Terri again. I can't fight back no more That is not like me at all. I have always been a fighter always I I'm lost now

Terri<p>You know you are such a capable woman<p>Many career women are successful at work<p>But our personal lives are so close to our heart, that it is a whole different ball game<p>Many of the women here are very capable and successful - but infidelity affects all in the same way<p>They say that infidelity is the worst pain there is, and you know what? I believe it, don't you?<p>Terri, you've only been on MB such a short while - so you probably don't know - this pain will not be here forever - it DOES go away<p>What is it Terri, what is it that is immobilizing you right now?<p>Fear is not from God - I rebuke that fear in the name of Jesus<p>TnT

tommorrow I don't want o face it . I ccan't elieve i'm even saying this. I am so tired right now. I am glad you are here

Hi Terri,
I'm a constant lurker but infrequent poster here at MB. Wow, can I ever relate to your posts! I remember feeling so terrible, so bad, I was amazed it was even possible! I don't think it's possible for the WS's to understand how bad it feels--if that part of their conscience and soul were working right, they would never have cheated in the first place. I'm a BH, and after I found out what my wife had done, that rock-bottom absolute despair almost overcame me. I nearly gave up everything...but I kept plugged in to MB & borrowed the strength of many of the posters here to keep going. It hasn't even been a year yet since DDay, but my outlook has really changed. My wife and I are still together, but I no longer live for that. There are things in this life I have decided to achieve, goals I have set, that I put on hold or even forgot for the sake of being married. I used to feel like I lived for my marriage and for my wife--though that was what I was supposed to do--but when she cheated--well, obviously I needed to wake up and see that my life is worth living with or without her or I wouldn't be here now. I love my wife, for sure, don't get me wrong. That's why I'm still with her. I prefer to accomplish my goals and live my life with her by my side...but I will accomplish my goals and live my life with or without her and with a clear conscience. I never cheated. I never would, I never will. I put everything I could into plan A, and I know now that my wife does love me. But she still doesn't get it how much she hurt me--how could she? She's someone who is able to betray her spouse--the part of her that would enable her to understand how people like you and I feel about being faithful and true is broken, otherwise she never could have done what she did. She also wishes everybody could "just get over it, it's in the past" blah blah blah. No way can she ever understand. It's no reflection on me--I have things to do. My little girl and I are learning photography together. We have a nice trip planned this spring. We are all going to be together as a family and I'm so looking forward to it! But guess what....I'll go on that trip without her if that what happens--it won't, but that's my outlook on life now. I have my own life to live--I love her but being married to her is not worth dying for. No way I'd give everything up for someone who betrayed me like that! Maybe that sounds cold??? I dunno--but that attitude has given me my life back, and I'm enjoying it! Much to do! You have much to do also. If your husband deserves you--only you can decide that. But you are worthy and valuable as a person with or without. I chose with...sounds like you do too. Not easy, I know--so hard.
Hang in there, we on this board love you and care for you. You are important and special to us.<p>Rusty

Oh my gosh, Terri<p>That is just how my husband reacted!<p>Everytime I am sad, or unhappy or angry - he just has a tizzy fit<p>I have done that too, hands over ears<p>I have been knocked down, kicked, hit, slapped, hair pulled, scratched, you name it I have been there<p>Terri - I KNOW how you feel - YOU do not deserve this<p>It doesn't do any good to expect support from your husband right now - he just is tooooo weak <p>He is a controller, Terri. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling<p>Been there!<p>IT DOES GET BETTER and we do get stronger
and that doesn't necessarily mean that it is the end of our marriage<p>but Terri, you have to have support right now to get through this<p>I didn't have ANYONE, either - I only had MB, and JESUS!<p>You can do this

Terri<p>So he demands that you believe his lies, and your gut is telling you that it is lies<p>He gets angry because he can't command your feelings to be as he wants them to be<p>Sounds like he doesn't want to lose you, Terri<p>But you don't deserve this Terri<p>Terri - you gotta believe in yourself, I think you do, deep down inside - you KNOW you are a capable person

Terri,
I was about ready to sign off for the night when I noticed your thread. I hear your pain and wonder if maybe I've been feeling it from a distance. I've been weepy all day and I've had days worse than today. Isn't it odd how things just seem insurmountable sometimes? Those same problems might be there two days from now, but somehow it won't seem so bad. It's good that you're reaching out for help Terri. I know it's hard. I have trouble with it too. You found a good place to find people who care. It was through this forum that I found a mentor last year. She sent me the story pasted below. It helped me tremendously. I know it'll help you too. Hang in there Terri. Get someone on the phone. Every major city has a hotline. I'm so confident that you're going to be ok, that I'm going to sign off now and check back tomorrow. Oops. it's already tomorrow. Well, till later. Keep us posted. <p>
THE BURDEN<p>"Why was my burden so heavy?" I slammed the bedroom door and leaned against it. Is there no rest from this life? I wondered. I stumbled to my
bed and dropped onto it, pressing my pillow around my ears to shut out the noise of my existence. "Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me sleep forever and never wake up!" With a deep sob I tried to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed the blackness that came over me.<p>Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I focused on its source:
the figure of a man standing before a cross. "My child," the person asked, "why did you want to come to Me before I am ready to call you?" "Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... I can't go on. You see how hard it is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I simply can't carry
it anymore." "But haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens upon Me, because I care for you? My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." "I knew
You would say that. But why does mine have to be so heavy?" "My child, everyone in the world has a burden. Perhaps you would like to try a
different one?" "I can do that?" (Matthew 11:28)<p>He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet. "You may try any of these." All of them seemed to be of equal size. But each was labeled with a name. "There's Joan's," I said. Joan was married to a wealthy businessman. She lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three daughters in the prettiest designer clothes. Sometimes she drove me to church in her Cadillac when my car was broken. "Let me try that one." How difficult could her burden be? I thought. The Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders. I sank to my knees beneath its weight. "Take it off!" I said. "What makes it so heavy?" "Look inside." I untied the straps and opened the top. Inside was a figure of her Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to speak. "Joan, you'll never be good enough for my son," it began. "He never should have married you. You're a terrible mother to my grandchildren..." I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and withdrew another. It was Donna, Joan's youngest daughter. Her head was bandaged from the surgery that had failed to resolve her epilepsy. A third figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he had been convicted of killing a police officer. "I see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But she's always smiling and helping others. I
didn't realize..." "Would you like to try another?" He asked quietly. I tested several. Paula's felt heavy: She was raising four small boys without a father. Debra's did too: a childhood of sexual abuse and a marriage of emotional abuse. When I came to Ruth's burden, I didn't even try. I knew that inside I would find arthritis, old age, a demanding full-time job, and a beloved husband in a nursing home.<p>"They're all too heavy, Lord" I said. "Give back my own." As I lifted the familiar load once again, It seemed much lighter than the others. "Lets look inside" He said. I turned away, holding it close. "That's not a good
idea," I said. "Why?" "There's a lot of junk in there." "Let Me see." The gentle thunder of His voice compelled me. I opened my burden. He pulled
out a brick. "Tell me about this one." "Lord, You know. It's money. I know we don't suffer like people in some countries or even the homeless here in America. But we have no insurance, and when the kids get sick, we can't always take them to the doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm tired of dressing them in hand-me-downs." "My child, I will supply all of
your needs... and your children's. I've given them healthy bodies. I will teach them that expensive clothing doesn't make a person valuable in My sight." Then He lifted out the figure of a small boy. "And this?" He asked. "Andrew..." I hung my head, ashamed to call my son a burden. "But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not quiet like the other two. He makes me so
tired. He's always getting hurt, and someone is bound to think I abuse him. I yell at him all the time. Someday I may really hurt him...." "My
child," He said, "if you trust Me, I will renew your strength, If you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I will give you patience." Then He
took some pebbles from my burden. "Yes, Lord," I said with a sigh. "Those are small. But they're important. I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't
make it look nice. I can't afford to go to the beauty shop. I'm overweight and can't stay on a diet. I hate all my clothes. I hate the way I
look!" "My child, people look at your outward appearance, but I look at your heart. By My Spirit you can gain self-control to lose weight. But your beauty should not come from outward appearance. Instead, it should come from your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in My sight."<p>My burden now seemed lighter than before. "I guess I can handle it now" I said. "There is more," He said. "Hand Me that last brick." "Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle it." "My child, give it to Me." Again His
voice compelled me. He reached out His hand, and for the first time I saw the ugly wound. "But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty, Lord! What
happened to Your hands? They're so scarred!" No longer focused on my burden, I looked for the first time into His face. In His brow were ragged
scars-as though someone had pressed thorns into His flesh. "Lord," I whispered. "What happened to You?" His loving eyes reached into my soul. "My child, you know. Hand Me the brick. It belongs to Me. I bought it." "How?" "With My blood." "But why, Lord?" "Because I have loved you with an everlasting love. Give it to Me." I placed the filthy brick into His wounded palm. It contained all the dirt and evil of my life: my pride,
my selfishness, the depression that constantly tormented me. He turned to the cross and hurled my brick into the pool of blood at its base. It
hardly made a ripple.<p>"Now, My child, you need to go back. I will be with you always. When you are troubled, call to Me and I will help you and show you things you
cannot imagine now." "Yes, Lord, I will call on You." I reached to pick up my burden. "You may leave that here if you wish. You see all these
burdens? They are the ones that others have left at My feet. Joan's, Paula's, Debra's, Ruth's.....When you leave your burden here, I carry it with you. Remember, My yoke is easy and My burden is light." As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to fade." (Jeremiah 33:3)<p>Yet I heard Him whisper, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." A peace flooded my soul. Amen. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
>
>Author Unknown

I can't belive this. You guys do know. I have gone all this time with no one. why did I not find you earlier.

I wish you found us earlier too - Terri<p>I am convinced that the Lord led me to MB, He knew what I needed<p>These ladies have been there, Terri, they know exactly how you feel<p>But, Terri - it is like when you have a child - childbirth pains? Remember? Or can you remember? You got past it!<p>You got past childbirth - this is worse kind of pain, emotional - heart, head, it is overwhelming <p>But we DO get past it - we learn - we grow - we feel supported here<p>God is sooo good Terri, He has not left you, maybe even he brought you here<p>You have a purpose<p>You are worthy to be loved

My God I wiish i could print all his out and show my husband. No never he thinks its in my mind. Been to long to hurt. Yes be had disagremeeents before but he pain was never like this. nything triggers it now. At least the last 2 or 3 weeks it has. Am I just going the edge? I don't even know what that means. Lonesome heart that story I can't belive it . I love it. I will print andkeep foreveer.

Father,<p>I come to you on behalf of Terri. She feels such shame. You are her hiding place, oh Lord. Keep Terri from trouble, and help her to realize that she is a beautiful creature, that you have created her to be just exactly who she is. Father, I pray that Terri feels your strength, your Love, and your faithfulness. <p>Lord Jesus, I believe you were raised from the dead. You have felt the lowest of low in despair that Terri feels right now. Jesus, you said that you were sent to heal the broken hearted. I know that you have been working that in me, and Lord, I pray that you would work a healing for Terri's heart beginning right now.<p>Father, I pray for her peace, in Jesus Name. Holy Spirit, comfort and strengthen Terri, in Jesus Name.<p>Amen