Hi Wex,<P>my head hurts.....<P>I'm tired of thinking about him, about ow#2, where he's going, where he's not..<P>All I know is that he should be at home with his family. And then I question myself about whether I even want him back. I love the old H I had, not this new monster. Can he ever go back to being the old H that I knew. I don't think so. I know we will both have learnt so much, and that the future could be so wonderful with what we have been through, and being the new people we will become, but sometimes, I just don't have faith in him.<P>I don't think he will learn anything by this. He isn't willing to confront anything at the moment, and it has now been 10 months. He doesn't know what he wants.<BR>Will you tell me what you think of this??<P>A friend had a baby this week, he left a message on my machine letting me know. I sent flowers, from me and the girls. He rang again in the afternoon, left another message saying he had also sent flowers. From all of us. Playing happy families. From H, Jo, d#1 and d#2. Why would he do that. We are NOT a family. He has told me so, time and again.<P>I'm sorry to jump in here, but what you say means a lot.<P>As for your W giving up everything, for someone who may not do the same. Isn't it amazing how WE can feel for them.? When there is nothing from them about how we are feeling. Blows my mind. Why do we do this to ourselves.??<BR>Boy, am I in a funk today. I'm going to take the children to a beautiful park, and smell the roses. Look at their beautiful little faces, and realise how lucky I am.<P>I'm thinking of you, and sending a hug to you. Thanks for being my friend<P>Jo