Found out about H affair on New Years Day. H moved out 2-1. Probably would have stayed longer, but I pushed- I was just tired of the threats. Anyway, we are currently getting along well, we basically have to because of 2 children involved! We spend small amounts of time together, 85 % are positive times, I do slip and LB sometimes, but I actually think he understands, simply because of what he has put me through. I know it has only been 2 weeks, but I have a very hard time with deciding if I just want a divorce and just move on, or if I just wait on him to exit the FOG, and keep working for my marriage? I love him and know that many mistakes have been made, on both my part and his, and I truly feel like we could make it if we really tried. We have been very happy before. It just hurts so bad! I just dont know how much is too much and how much is not enough! Just looking for any advice. BTW, my H has stated he does not want a divorce right now, but if I did then......
heather :p

Hi Heather,<p>I apologize, because I know I've posted to you, but I'm too lazy to look it up. Is there an OW in the picture?<p>Anyway, my counsel would be time. I think there are people who can see past this and envision a return to happiness, and others that can never get over the betrayal. For the first 6 months I suspect that every BS feels like they are in the second category. So maybe you have to Plan A for a while and see what happens. You can always pull the hand grenade.....that is the easy route.<p>And get on the phone with a Harley, and quit making crucial life decisions based on amatuer opinions from anonymous internet troglodytes like me [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Heather...since you are not sure what you want to do, much less have any way of knowing for sure what your H wishes...don't do anything rash. Devote this time to yourself and children. Make yourself do what is best for you and your growth. There isn't a deadline or a timeline right now, so don't put one on yourself or your marriage. Time can do wonders. It will clear the fog that you both may be lost in. <p>I would like to know what threats you are talking about. <p>It sounds as if you both love each other, but with the betrayal, all the emotions are running wild and they conflict and change so fast that it is very hard to control them. You said that most of the time you and H are getting along...GREAT. That's a good sign for continued progress in the right direction...no matter what direction you are headed.<p>You feel as if you have a marriage worth saving and reclaiming....so don't give up. What is worthwhile is seldom easy. <p>Good luck on finding your healing path!

To just a wifey:<p>The only threat I was referring to, was he kept saying he was going to move out, and I was tired of hearing it. If he was gonna move out, I just wanted it done and over with. <p>I'm sure I know what your getting at, but no, there is no physical abuse involved!<p>heather [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]