I need advice on how to build trust with a WS who has lied/manipulated for so long?

Hard to offer much without more details?<p>Start reading everything you can from this site and this forum. <p>But tell us more! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I have been reading lots from this site, and have learned a lot.
My story: My H had A. I found out 3/01. He said it was a one time thing. I called her and she claimed the same thing. He did the whole apology thing, we started MC. By the summer, he claimed MC was only hurting me. We stopped going. He didn't want to go anymore. Found out in Nov. he still had contact. I saw an e-mail he sent her. I got our pastor involved then. We started working on things, but then found out in 3/02 he had still been seeing her and lied to me and pastor. She called me a month ago and told me that they just broke up, and gave me details that made it definite they had still been seeing each other.
At that point he called our pastor, and slowly started admitting the whole truth to us. (He had a 3 yr. A).Now he wants to do everything he can to save the M. He is accountable at all times to me and our pastor, he is reading books, started praying and reading Bible again, etc.
It seems sincere, but how do I really know?

You will only know with time. Until then take the emotional needs questionnaire with him. How is his withdrawal going?

He says the only thoughts about her are regret. He says it makes him sick to think about all of the things he's done. He doesn't like to talk about her or the situation at all, but says if I have any questions or I think it will help that he'll talk about it.