I have been in an emotioal corner over this...I just found out a couple of months ago that my H had ask his old high school friend out for coffee. To explain things further,we both have been unfaithful to one another in the past. We just can't shake the argueing and I had questioned H over this and he addmitted to all of it! He even addmitted to telling her that I had had an affair on him and that he feels I don't know what I want. He also told her he's not sure he wants the marriage anymore nor did he feel he loved me anymore. I am hurt by the info. he had told this woman and can't shake the anger. We run into this woman once in awhile but we never stop to talk to her. She is alway's giving these sexy smiles when seeing my H or passing him somewhere. She has never met me nor has my H intreduced us. He also told another woman before this incedent that he had loved her for 26 yrs. and told her the same things he told the woman he envited out for coffee. Now, if the coffee appointment was nothing but friends like my H wants me to believe...then why wasn't I envited right? Do men think we are dummies? I am very resentful over this and can't get on with the marriage because I'm affraid third time will be a charm and I don't think I can bare it! What ya all think? Do you think I should be overreacting since we never make love either? We are about to see a divorce lawyer but are waiting for a reply here. Should I contact the other woman on this? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Dear "Should I Over React:

I found out the hard way that you are most probably not over reacting at all. I found out that our gut instincts are "right on".

We KNOW when something is not right. Interestingly, my boyfriend called it "just coffee" and I later found out that his just coffee with an old friend was preceded by 2 afternoons in a motel and another evening at her friends house with a 3 some.

Now, I know that many times it is just coffee. But listen to your gut instincts.....don't jump to immediate conclusions or accuse your H of anything until you have proof. We must believe them until proven otherwise....or else that is a LB.

I'm not married, so some may feel I've no right to these strong and painful feelings of rejection, but it's not much different. My ex H had a brief A while we were married and my children were small at the time. I got such comfort from hugging and loving them...that the pain was not nearly the same as this pain now.

After divorcing my H of 19 yrs..more than 11 yrs ago...I thought I found the man of my dreams.
But I've found out that he has a history of cheating, one night stands, EA, email A's, etc.

If you are doing an LB ing actions, please stop immediately.... We need to be as loving and kind as we can right now. It is the right thing to do and plus it defines who we are.

When we love we create positive emotional energy, vibrational energy that is positive and good and worthy. We attract what we vibrate.
It's better to talk to God, ask for his help, his love, his arms around you..

Warmest Hugs to you,
Fran