Now she is reacting to your actions. If she left you, and you went through a divorce, wouldn't the same thing have taken place.

Do you want to enable the A, or be a part of helping it end? Did you ever make contact with the OM last night?

prismx... none of this is easy. It's all really hard. There is an old saying that "God will not give you a burden greater than you can bear". You have the strength, you've just never had to use it.

Plan B is hard.

I put in a call to Mortarman on the GQII forums to look in on your sitch and help with Plan B. Others may join in. I've not been there, done that, so I don't feel qualified to give much advice towards that end.

Your WW is being put in the position of getting all her needs filled by the OM. That's what Plan B is about. You need to divert all your energy to other projects, and disattach from the chaos that is now her life.

Remember, you still have a plan. She does not. Advantage....prismx!

Hang in there!
SD

I failed again! I responded to her last email by phone. Why am I so stupid? I'm doing it all wrong. She kept saying she isnt doing it for OM she is doing it for her. I make her feel miserable. Me having called the OM and him not answered but told her he saw my # just made it worse. She is now on total hatred towards me. How do i deserve this? I love this girl more then life itself and she keeps doing me wrong over and over. I'm at the end.
Here is the latest email:

"I do plan on putting money in your account. Changing your account is going to be a big hassle you will have to change all the bill drafts that come out each month, oh, and your direct deposit. I will keep you on my insurance for now, I think you should go ahead and cancel my phone for good instead of putting it on hold. I wont need it any longer. I see you were nice enough to take my house key off my key chain. I need my key back to the safe deposit box. I am closing out my savings account that has your name on it too, the one my pay check goes into, I dont want to take the risk of you taking all my money from me. I need to make arrangements to come get the rest of me things, Saturday would be a good day for me after I get off work, if it is ok with you need to come today too and get some small things I left behind, my bathrobe, passport, grandmothers necklace and box of checks in the safe."

She went and got herself a new cellphone right away. She can't stay away from him. Now I don't even have her number anymore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . I guess its good so I can't call her, but damn this is hard. I'm an emotional wreck. She will stay at that other apartment and I think all is lost now. I don't think she will come home again. She asked if she needed the police to come with her to get her stuff?!?!?! I asked her why she would say that. I never put a finger on her. She says becuase i called OM after i told her i wouldn't. So she doesn't know what I would do. This is insane! I thought she knew me!!! What is going on? My life is being destroyed here and she is sitting there laughing at it. How can she do that?! HOW?!!!!

<small>[ March 17, 2005, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: prismx ]</small>

I have to honestly say that up until she said she wanted to get ALL HER STUFF, I thought that this might blow over. I had hope. Now the cold harsh reality hits even harder. She isn't coming back. She is going to be moved and gone for good. Staying at the Apt and seeing the OM as she pleases. I have lost her forever <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hey AD and FH...you guys have been doing great with Prismx. Right on the money!!

Prismx,

You do not know me...but I know you. Do you know how I know you? Because I was you! I am in recovery right now with my wife, after three years of hell. And even though I am in recovery, that doesnt mean that my marriage wont end...it just means the OM is gone and we are working on it.

That being said, I am not going to repeat what the others have told you because they have been right on. But what I am going to do is have a man-to-man with you right now, okay? Ready?

What I am about to tell you is not me beating up on you, being insensitive (although, my wife would say different <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ). It isnt coming from a man that doesnt know what I am talking about, because I have been in your shoes. My wife also left...left me and the kids for 7 months.

Anyway, here it is. I am assuming by your posts that there is no kids between you. but, in this family, there are two people...you and your wife. Right now, in this family, there are NO SANE people in it!! Both of you, as Pepperband would say, have your heads firmly implanted in your nether regions. And you, sir...need to pull your out right away.

I am not saying what I am saying is easy, or that you dont have all of these emotions. This will be the HARDEST thing you have ever done in your life!! I am 41, with a full military career, and I can tell you nothing has hit me harder or has been harder to maintain than my marriage and my sanity thru all of this. Even today, a lot of this still does not make sense.

But, you do not have the luxury of losing your head over this, do you understand me? Whether she knows it or not, your wife needs you now more than ever has or ever will. We KNOW that she isnt going to get her act together anytime soon.

First off, you MUST stop listening to what she is saying, and watching what she is doing! Now, a little later, I will contradict myself by saying that you need to pick the truth out of the fog...but let's start here first. If your wife was a drunk, and it was 3am and she was plastered...would you take ANYTHING she had to say personally? Would you try to argue, or educate her? My man...this is no different. She is "drunk." She is addicted. And until that addiction wears off, it is like talking to a drunk.

So, if a spouse came home drunk and was babbling "I saw Elvis tonight. He had a drink with me and we danced...and then he sung a song. He said that he still lives in Graceland..." What would you be saying? Would you say "Honey, that isnt possible. Elvis is dead." or would you say to your drunk wife..."Elvis? Really? So, how does he look? Did he lose any weight? What does he think about Lisa Marie marrying Michael Jackson?" And you say this as you meet her needs, which at the time would to be to get her underessed and into bed so she can sleep it off. That is the very picture of what Plan A is all about.

It is NOT being a doormat. It is not being drug around by your addicted wife. It is setting boundaries, having a plan of action. It is meeting your wife's needs, so that she can come out of her addiction. Do you see?

I am known over on the other board as the Plan B czar. And you sir, are NOT ready for Plan B. Plan B will not work without Plan A (funny think about using A before B, isnt it?). So, she is out of the house now? You can still Plan A. So, she doesnt want to talk, or wants to say its over? You can still Plan A. She even eluded to the fact in her last email that she has seen changes.

And that leads me to my next point. Do NOT expect immediate success! Just like your wife being drunk...you cannot sober someone up faster than it takes them to sober them up. You can give them coffee all night long, and all you have is a drunk who is awake. Likewise, these affair addictions take time. You will not make them shorter than they will be...but you can sure legthen them.

So, the watch word is "settle down." Do not concentrate on her or what she says or does. She is not sane right now, and has NO plan. You do. You concentrate on that.

If she threatens some action if you do something you should be doing...ignore it. Nine times out of ten, she doesnt really mean it. If she says she is going right to divorce if you contact the OM's girlfriend, etc...she is bluffing! And even if she does go down...what is the loss? She is already leaving, right?

But, almost always, it is a bluff. She has no clue what she is doing. That's why she threatens you. She wants to keep you in place while she figures this all out. But you shouldnt let her.

Up until now, she has been in control of things. Time for that to change. If you do something, then do it. Dont tell her, dont negotiate. Just do it. When her head comes off and she screams about it, just listen and then walk away. You know what is right, you know the right thing to do. She doesnt.

So, start at ground zero. What is your plan? What is your Plan A? You said you dont know who this girlfriend is? Well, find out. Follow your wife one night to when she meets the OM. Then follow the OM back to his place. Then, the next woman you see the OM with as your do surveillance will be the girlfriend. Then, you go up to her and talk to her. And show her what you have.

Find out where OM works. Then contact his boss, or corporate HQ. Is he in the military? If so, I know exactly how to get this guy!!! If not, then let that company know what kind of employee they have.

Let your in-laws know what is going on. They probably will not take your side of things, but they will at least have the truth...which should make things uncomfortable between her and them.

The idea is to make things uncomfortable by shining the truth into the fog. When you shine a light into a room full of cockroaches, what happens? They scurry for the darkness. What happens when you have been in a dark room all night, and then someone switches on the light? It hurts, doesnt it. That is the reaction you will get from your wife everytime you shine the light of truth on all of this.

Okay, I am stepping down off my high-horse now. I am not going to be easy on you, because first of all you are a man...and second of all, you have no time for a piuty party. You are responsible for your family. You must take charge of it. No excuses. No surrender. That OM is tearing your family, and even your wife, apart. You gonna stand by and let that happen? I am NOT saying do something physical (although I know you want to!!). I am saying, get your plan together, as has worked for so many others. And tear their relationship apart thru shining the light of the truth on it...and standing by your wife. Filling ENs. In all of that fog babble you have written on her that she has said, I have seen in there a woman crying out to be rescued. So, do it.

Recently, my wife treated a burn patient in the ER. He eventually died. Not a part of his body was not burned. The sad thing, he didnt have to get burned. He ran into the house that was burning because he thought his wife was in there. What was found out later was that she was out back, she had escaped out the back door.

But what I want you to take out of that sad story is this...what was that guy feeling when he ran into that house to save his wife? Was he worried about a future without her? Was he having a pity party on the street corner as the house burned? Nope. That guy saw his wife in trouble, and he acted. No hesitation. Even though he knew he would be burned and even killed.

Time to die for your wife, Prismx. I dont mean literally. it is time to sacrifice your safety, your comfort, your well-being, to rescue your wife from what is consuming her. but you need to do it smartly. Rather than blindly running into a burning building, you have a plan. Follow it. Concentrate on it. And the Lord will do the rest.

If you do not have a relationship with God right now, it may be time you think about doing that. He has more power at His disposal to help you than you know. And I am here to help you with that, if you are interested.

Time to stand up and be a man, Prismx. I too floundered for weeks until those that cared kicked me in the butt. Count this as your butt kicking. Come here to ask questions, to vent, to cry...whatever. but, when you walk away from the computer, you will have to be a soldier. You will have to do your duty. Surrender is not an option.

In His arms.

Just wow! That was amazing!
Everything you say hits the nail righ smack center. You are so right.
Like I said, I do not know much about him at all. I have his cellphone number, and I do know he works for Regions Bank. So does she. They do not work together as he is whats called a utility worker that goes from branch to branch to fill in for people sick or on vacation. So I know they met through a bank meeting.
I'm in contact with my best friend who works for a cellphone company. He is trying to help me get down to business as far as the other guys home location and maybe getting his phone records to find his girlfriend. I don't know how long this will take, but I want to do whatever it takes.
You post mentions to go to the superior of the OM's job. Do I go call someone at Regions about the issue? Won't this trigger even more hate from my wife towards me? Forgive me when I say that I like the ideas, but maybe I'm in the fog and just don't quiet see how it will drive her back. If it doesn't, well hell, I'm trying.
Everytime I say something nice to her and acknowledge my wrong doings, she throws it out of proportion and tells me now she has been unhappy for...get this 5 years!!!! We been together for 6 and she says she has been unhappy for 5. How am I suppose to feel there?
Anyway...I will be strong and look past that. Getting OM's girls number is current task. But who does on contact as far as superior...I don't want to sound vendictive about it and I fear my wife might try something really mean on me. I don't know what yet, but in her little mind its almost as if she is gona try something really bad to do to me and I do worry.

Prismx,

I normally don't post on this forum but I just had to tell you PLEASE listen to these great people. What Mortarman said was awesome!!!

Don't listen to your wife she is an alien and is so thick with fog it's gross. When my xh told me that he didn't know if he wanted to be married anymore the first thing I did was ask who is she. He started talking crazy, saying he doesn't ever think that he loved me. Then I knew it was because of ow. THEN after I filed for divorce and he starts flirting again, I asked him if he would ever cheat on ow? he tells me no. Ok then what the heck is he TRYING to do with me? Oh that's not cheating, it's different with me because I'm the mother of his children, known me since he was 14 yrs old. All the stuff he should've thought of before shacking up with ow.

What people say when they are having affairs is just plain crazy!! They are just trying to jusitfy what they are doing.

I know this is hard and very painful but you can really learn alot here. Try not to think about what ww is doing or thinking. Instead think about your marriage and what went wrong and how to not make those mistakes again!!!

Take this time for YOU. Take good care of yourself ((hugs to you))

Well, talked to a friend who is a detective. We went over everything and oh my god.
All signs lead to her having sex with him.
The new underwear, the constant showering when coming home, the staying out late at night without telling me where she is. The way she gets ready before going out. Always taking her perfume with her and smelling intense. Washing her underwear everyday. How could I have been so blind! Thats why she was "never in the mood".

prismx

Give us a brief update of the timeline of all this. When was D-day, confrontation, confirmation and those sorts of things.

I'm still not certain you've been in Plan A long enough, and the refresher of facts would help in determining what future poster's might have to say.

You will find that WS's are incredibly good liars, and they will tell either lies, half-truths or deny remembering most everything.

Just assume the worst, swallow hard, re-read these posts and get your plan as fixed in your mind as your phone number.

Was the detective helpful in finding out a phone number for the OM's GF? Finding her and fully exposing the A is your most powerful weapon right now. Your call to the OM is controversial, but if handled properly, could be another fly in the affair ointment.

Stay positive, stay busy, continue to learn, continue to post and talk to your Doc about some AD's. They'll help you stay grounded.

Stay the course!
SD

Well the first D-Day would on 01/05/05. I handled it wrong and yelled and made her stop seeing him. The second D-Day was just 03/09/05. I know...1 week. It feels like a lifetime. I don't really know how to get back to Plan A since she is gone already. There has been little contact. Just about financial issues.
I did ask her to think about her action but she is so cold and hard right now.
She is suppose to get her stuff tonight. I was gona go out of town but didn't. I did put my car at a friends house and we are here at home because I kept seeing a Jeep circle my house and all I know about OM is that he has a Jeep. So it seemed odd.
I wanted to be sure they aren't trying to rob me, or steal from me, or do who knows what.
I know it sounds a little crazy, but its all a little odd right now.

Get the license plate #. If it's the OM, then your detective friend can get you a street address. You will then be able to track down the OM's GF, and do the Exposure!

Watch your back. Sometimes OM's will do some dumb stuff! But you already knew that!

I'm feeling with the short time since D-Day, you should stay in Plan A. Yes, it's harder if she's moved out, but not impossible. Evaluate what needs you believe the OM is meeting, and do your best to meet those needs.

Plan B works the best when it's done by you, at a time you choose. It's best done when you've spent a considerable investment in filling her LB$ (love bank). It works best when she's seen you sustain the positive changes that are part of Plan A. So going to Plan B right now would be a bit shaky.

Stay busy, and keep your mind off wondering and worrying about your WW. Transfer your energy to cleaning your house, painting rooms, organizing the garage, primarily at tasks the WW will see when she returns, things that are obvious and visual. She'll think "he's moving on without me", and that will give her pause to reflect on what she's "leaving" behind.

Eat well, sleep as much as possible and stay healthy for the ongoing battle.

Best wishes,
SD

Well plan A is out the windows. Sorry guys but I can't turn back time, I can't go back and do Plan A again when we are already into Plan B!!!
But today brought some good things.
Did the deal with her stuff in garage. Was inside and she didnt know. Friend and me went to grocery store to pick up stuff to cook and guess who i run into. HER and her girlfriend. Odd...really. She looked at me, waves and I just nodded and looked away. Went about my business and left without turning back.
When I was at home cooking the phone rings...restricted call. Well my friend calls like that because they have some sort of device on their phone so it NEVER shows the number. I answer with a HEY thinking its him..its her. She goes "it was odd seeing you at the store. I felt like i needed to walk over and talk to you." I responded with "yes, it was rather odd" She then goes "thank you for leaving my stuff, my picture and that cd (i left a picture of us together and a cd with the song COLD by Crossfade). I can't how perfect that song was to you". I said "yes, I know, thats why I picked it." She then went on with "I hate today, i went to my girlfriends house and had dinner with her family. Let me tell you they are weird people they were all like...." I cut her off there saying "Look, im happy you ate. its good that you got your stuff, but I don't want to talk to you about all that right now. I got to go cook and take care of dinner. I don't really want to speak. ok?" She just said ok and hung up.
So here iam working my way into the spaghetti sauce, adding stuff, cutting up onion, bla bla bla..phone rings...house phone this time...not cell. Private Name, Private Number. So I'm like, good thats my friend calling. WRONG again! It's her "Hey, my car won't start. Can you come jump it or get it going again?" I respond with "No, I'm sorry, but you want to be on your own and you have to deal with it urself. Call your boyfriend, or ur girlfriend to help you. Hell call the roadside assistance that I got you for it." she reponds with "they cant get their truck back here...too narrow." So I just said "sorry, i can't help you. if you absolutely can't get it going any other way that you tried, you can call me and we will see, but as of right now I feel you need to take care of that yourself, I got to go now, I have to eat" CLICK.
So that was that.
Well, she freaken calls again while I eat and leaves a message that she supposendly had a dealership look at her car and they said she needs a new battery and she needs to know from me what to do about that. So she will talk to me tomorrow when Im at work. Talked to a dealership? All this after this just happened at 8pm at night?! I don't get it.
Now here comes the kicker. The girl she is with is my friends girlfriend. He calls me tonight, all depressed cause his girl is being a ***** to him and won't tell me the truth about what she is doing or what is going on. So I ask, "you just talk to her now? (10pm)" He says yes. I ask was there any talk about starting my girls car or anything since i suppose that would have happened. "No, that would be something she would tell me. why u ask?"
What do I take out of all this?
Is this looking better?

Okay...a couple things here, starting with your last statement.

Are things getting better? Who knows?!?! You are hanging on every word, every event. Stop that. it will e a series of events that will fortell what will happen, not one or two single events. By this afternoon, she will probably be saying mean things, etc. So, stop concentrating on her, and concentrate on your plan.

Now, the next thing. You say that you cant do Plan A, that Plan B it is. But you arent doing Plan B either. You are talking to her. No contact is no contact!!

But, you had a PRIME opportunity to Plan A her with the car, and you didnt do it. Of course, if you were in Plan B, you shouldnt help her with the car. But you arent in Plan B. You are in no plan at all.

Plan B will not work without some sort of Plan A. Consistent behavior, consistently meeting ENs that she allows you to meet. She called and asked you to help her. You told her no. But, instead of her feeling bad and missing you, and wishing you would help...she will chalk it up to the fact that she was "right" to leave you.

Now, if you had a good Plan A with her, and then in Plan B she called and you refused (first off, in Plan B, you wont have to refuse...because you wont be talking to her), then at least she knew and had seen the changes in you. But you dont have that either.

I told you in my previous post that you are going to have to buckle down and be a soldier. That means that there is a plan of battle here. If you dont follow that plan, your marriage is most likely doomed. If you follow it, yes...you could still lose her. But odds are that wont happen. And even if it does, you can walk away knowing that you did everything you could, and that you are a better man for a new wife and marriage.

I'm telling you Prismx...I was where you were and made the same mistakes. My recovery still suffers from those mistakes. At some point, you are going to have to trust this stuff and follow it. Plan A is not impossible. And Plan B is not what you are doing.

As Dr. Phil says..."How is it working for ya?" Keep doing this your way...and fail. Or follow the experts and those that have been down this road before and made it thru.

We will help you...but you are going to have to make a decision that you are going to do the right thing, no matter how much it hurts or how scared you get.

In His arms.

Prismx, I don’t post here much, as you can see by the number of post in my bio. I haven’t had to go through the trauma or pain of an A and I hope I never have to. I lurk and read and do my best to make my relationship better. It’s taken me a 1 ½ years to get things straightened out. I’ve learned a lot here since I’ve found this site. So I’m gonna bend your ear a bit. If I was your 3rd grade teacher I’d grab it real tight and give it a good yank to get you out of the BS fog!!!!!!

Listne up I’ll try to make this quick:

The people on this site are incredibly smart. Listen and do what they say & follow what they say. Especially the long term ones. Lean on them : Morterman, Just Learning, Bob Pure, etc… look at the number of post, usually means they know what they are talking about.
Your not at a fast food restaurant. SLOW DOWN!! Every time you get advice you run out and do something (not always what is told to you) and then expect results in then next hour. And I’d bet in your head you looking for ½ hour or immediate results. Your cooking a gourmet meal here, it takes time. When you do something (Ie: calling the other man) don’t just do it once and then hope he got the call, and expect results in a day. Don’t consider exposure, calling the other man. It’s all half A$$!!!! Your in a fight for your marriage here.
How’s this for an example: If you walked in your house and a guy was attacking your wife, would you pull him off of her and then go watch T.V. leaving him in the house? I’d hope not!!! You gotta pull this guy off, kick his A$$ (figuratively) and then call the cops and have him arrested so he doesn’t show up again.
I can tell you’re jumping from one post to another, or one idea to another, and kind of doing one thing or another. Hopping something will stick. It’s not going to. SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWW DOWN!!!!!

If one of the long term member out there can give you I think its something like “Johns plan for the betrayed spouse” or Bob Pure’s Plan. Read it and memorize it.

And then my god man, FOLLOW IT!!!

Start with exposure and Plan A. Go out and tell everyone you know, she knows, the other man knows. Tell everyone. If you could and you really wanted to save your marriage, you’d put it on the local news.
Then when she gets upset, Plan A – Be nice but don’t be a door mat.

Prismx, Look at the post "Bob Pure's guide for the newly broken hearted".

Ok guys. I went back and talked to her about the car issue. She apparently needs a new battery and I was forthcoming and telling her how she should go by it to get a new one and such.
This back and forth between talk and no talk...arrrg. I feel like I done screwed it all up. I'm still in the works for get to his girl but it looks like its gona take a bit. Maybe I got him yesterday when I kept seeing that Jeep. I don't know. But lets wait and see on that.
Yes, I do hang on to every little thing. I'm so screwed up right now its the only thing to give me a little hope to have her back. I really do love and miss her like crazy. I won't tell her, but I really do. I hate getting up in the morning. I absolutely hate it. The cold reality sets in and I just get smacked in the face with it. Exposure is going to have to take place. I know this. It hasn't worked well so far, but I did get to her brother. Not much influence, but he knows the story at least. I talked to my friend who's girl is the one she stays with, and he is informed.
How long can she really hold out? I mean, 6 years together, 5 years living together in the same place. Seeing each other daily. This is absolutely nuts to deal with. Usually she was in tears if I had to go away for work, and now she can handle it all alone?!

Ok, so you told 2 people, tell more.
Tell her parents, tell your parents, tell all her friends, tell all your friends, let people at her work know.

EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

prismx

You are not dealing with just one person. Your WW has a split personality. One is the W you formerly knew, and the other is her evil twin.

You have to be able to tell the difference. Be keenly aware of her demeanor whenever you have contact with her.

Just because you screwed up, doesn't mean you are done with Plan A. Get up, dust yourself off, and begin again. Even with her out of the house, you can be in Plan A.

STOP the Love Busters. STOP the challenges. STOP with the A questions. Live a little and fill her LB$.

Words you say to her mean NOTHING. Save your breath. POSITIVE actions you take to SHOW her your love say everything.

Show her you love her.

Best wishes,
SD

Alright guys. Another update.
I'm breaking my own rules from the Plan B which I was not ready for anyway.
I talked to her again about financial things on the account since she is also my banker. I know, next thing is closing my account. But anyway.
I find out she got her cellphone with the same provider as OM. She wouldn't admit it but sadly it was so see thru that all it took was for me to look up the phone she got and low and behold...with him. Anyway. She came from the Cadillac of cellphone to the Pinto. I know...dont hold on to her words...but you could just hear how dissapointed she was with that. Its just a phone, i know, but she made a bid deal about how it didnt have any of the features of her old one, how the charger sucked, it felt cheap, and how the other one was so much better. Little things, I know.
But anyway. We disgussed the car situation...lets be sure to explain that its MY CAR in MY NAME...she has been trying to get this car signed over by me for the last 2 weeks and I wont. So up until this problem with the battery it was HER car. But now it needs a battery it is MY car. Arrrg!
I been keeping cool like u suggested. ZERO..and I mean ZERO Lovebuster. No mention of her A. I won't touch that, let her bath it out. This weekend will be spend trying to get the number of the OM's girl along with a nice email to my wifes mother. I will be sure its sincere, but her mother really likes me alot. She has known my wifes and her sisters boyfriends and she told me at a family meeting that I'm the first guy she has ever approved of and loves me. So I think that maybe it can have a little impact. My wife and her mother aren't best of friends. Alot goes back to the past, divorce and such. But they keep in contact by phone and email so I think its just right she should know the truth.
I told my wife today on the phone to take care of herself, she sounded like crap, to be sure she eats and if she has any problems she knows how to reach me. We left it at that and hung up because she said she felt really sick and had to run to the bathroom and throw up. Of course she did that because she freaken knows I care, thats why I'm here telling you guys and I feel horrible to think that she isn't doing ok and her health is suffering. I just don't want her to be sick or hurt or something...no matter how much pain she has caused me, I do want to be sure she is safe and well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Alright guys. Another update.
”I'm breaking my own rules from the Plan B which I was not ready for anyway.”

Regardless of what you think, you are not in Plan B. Hence your next line.

”I talked to her again”

The Whole cell phone thing and trying to make her suffer…… Stop it. Don’t be a little kid who didn’t get his way and say, “Fine, I’ll take my ball and go home”. Don’t do that.

I’d get together with her this weekend and ask her to come home. Let here know that you still love her and care for her and want her back in the house. By all means don’t say “my house”, say “OUR HOUSE”.

Work on the phone number deal (OM’s girlfriend) but expose, expose, expose, expose.

Why do you want to e-mail you mother-in-law if you have such a great relationship with her. CALL HER NOW!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to be going out of town today.
I just need to get out. It is eating me alive. I will be going to my friends house to spend the night there and come back tomorrow. Maybe its not a good idea to just leave, but I need time away from my surroundings and get my on right. Sitting here in the same house, seeing her pictures, getting her phone calls, hearing from friends about it...I cant. Yes I will fight, but I am emotinal destroyed. I'm tired all the time now, I hardly sleep, I finally got my appetite back. I need a break. Let them do whatever. I need a day to relax and gain my strength. Running around frantically is not helping and as you have all see in my posts its just riding me in deeper.
I will check this still from my friends house to see what you guys think, but I got to have this out of town break or I will die.
Hope this isnt a bad mistake, I will be back tomorrow to see what can be fixed but if she isn't willing there is nothing I can do to change her except keep trying, trying and trying. To keep going on will require strength and I just don't have it at this point in time.