How can I keep giving dposits or even continue to not make withdrawals when she consistantly is making withdrawals from my bank. How long can I hang on before my bank is depleted also.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by panaju:
<strong>How can I keep giving dposits or even continue to not make withdrawals when she consistantly is making withdrawals from my bank. How long can I hang on before my bank is depleted also.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Depends on the individual. You will be surprise how resillient human being is. You could prolong it with trying to get busy and not dwell on the situation. You could try to avoid the situation that could take the LB$. Keep snooping after you have the info at hand, for instant.

<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

I'm to the point where I've been LBed to death as well. I just try to keep things as light as possible with no talks about the M or us or anything close. I just try to think of it as a roommate/friend relationship, although we do have sex, but that is getting difficult for me as I detach more emotionally. Just hoping I can last until my 6-month Plan A is up.<p>You may want to read Michele Weiner-Davis' book, The Divorce Remedy. She has some specific techniques you can try, and I've used them all up, so I'm on the Last Resort Technique, which has made my Plan A more bearable. I wrote about it on the Recovery board under "New and improved Plan A" and "Update on LRT modification of Plan A".<p>It has drawn my H closer off and on, but I'm just trying to protect myself now. Most important, since I've implemented it, his LBs have been limited to going where the OW is; there hasn't been any yelling at me, belittling of me, acting like I don't exist, his usual punishment stuff. While here at home, he is decent to me. Easy to do since I do nothing to rock the boat or remind him I'm a separate person with thoughts and feelings of my own. I try to just listen to him and stay real busy so that I don't spend a lot of time with him.

Panaju,<p>Before finding the MB wbsite in 10/01, I was in plan A with out knowing it for almost 2 years. My WH 's LB were horrible- all five. I couldn't stand to be around him when he was home (not often) I hated him. He yealled, was critical & mean, withdrawn, made fun of me......<p>One day I asked myself was I the wife I wanted to be? If I had a healthy loving relationship right now, would I be a good wife. The answer was no.<p>Also, I realized that I was reating to him reacting who was reacting to me reacting.....
That if I would just stop feeding this downward cycle, maybe it would stop.<p>It was very hard but I prayed all the time for God to keep me calm. I wasn't perfect but it helped me. Over a long period of time, my WH didn't yell as much, is becomming a little less critical, etc.. When he saw I wasn't reacting I know it made some impression deep down inside.<p>I began (after D day #1) searching for good info on relationships. I really didn't know what it took to have one because I never had one. There are things I've taken from MB, Mars & venus & did a temprament analysis & began to use them. It is beginning to work. Though I can get my hopes up by some recent changes, I know it is a rocky road.
The path is not a straight line.<p>Be encouraged if your M is really what you want. I've done this for what seems to be a long time. God is the only reason I continue. I ask God how he wants me to look at this situation & what does he want me to do. <p>Hope this helps

thanks for your post legacy, I am up worried again, and looking for answers on plan a... or b, or a, or b... and I know I need to plan a longer... I am just confused about it... I need to let go more... and be me... and see him some... but not as much... I have been ready for the end of the Affair...<p>OK, anyway... thanks, I am getting ready for church now.<p>Hugs, HONEY