Soon, the Army will be taking that matter into their hands.
My question is, once he's removed, what is the best course of action with an unwilling, and most certainly after he is taken from her, a very angry one.
What kind of plan A should I be implimenting? I'm guessing she will want no contact with me for awhile but I don't know that for sure. Her first contact will be predictable; to chew me out for getting the command involved (even though that's out of my hands; it's military law).
Any ideas? Should I just take a break? Wait for her to contact me (aside from the chewing letter)? Or, should I contact after a cooling down period?

See Just found out and General Questions II for the full story...."7000 mile negotiation"

Hey DW,

I speak from experience on this one as a former military wife...she will most likely be pissed. I would recommend that you let her contact you, as I am sure she will. But, be prepared for harsh words from her and anger towards you. But remember, she is in a fog, she doesn't know which way is up right now. Try and be patient if you can. Hopefully, she will realize that she is living in a dreamland and will want to work towards restoring your marriage and rebuilding trust. Just be PATIENT...I wasn't and I didn't find this site until it was much too late. Also, my exh was on remote with his OW, I was in the US, and 4 months from him coming home. I really had no hope in getting through to him...no one did except for the OW. There was also too much fighting on both our ends through the phone and email...and he wouldn't talk to anyone...even the chaplain. So, my advice as well is that you talk to your chaplain if you haven't already, and find out if she is willing to do the same. Don't expect to fix it all over night like I tried to do...Patience and faith is most important right now. Good luck and God bless. PM me if you like.

Truth

DW...I am divorced now <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> ...wish I would have found marriage builders in the beginning of my hell. Listen to what the oldtimers here tell you...they are wise beyond their years <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks Truth.
I'll prepare myself for just such an onslaught.
It's funny you mention the chaplain thing with your H. My W too, has seemed to part from God in all of this. This has really hit her mother hard as they are a very religious family. Her father was a minister as a matter of fact.

I'm sorry it was too late for you. I only hope it's not too late for us. I've already made so many mistakes and she is so deep in Withdrawal that I fear the worst. I still hope though.