Hi all, I'm hoping someone can help me figure things out. I am deeply in love with my fiance and want to spend the rest of my life with him, however need to figure out how to get past jealousy-based conflicts that crop up.<BR>He is a very insecure person and his greatest fear is me betraying him or leaving him. The other night we were out and ran into a sales rep that I deal with (he knows him as well) The sales rep talked to us for a bit and touched my arm three or four times. My fiance was livid that I did not ask him to stop touching me and suggested that I "wanted" him to do that and was enjoying it (not true, I was actually quite uncomfortable). This created a huge fight because he feels that I go out of my way to solicit attention from others and don't treat him as my "one and only". Looking back, I should have asked the Sales rep not to touch me, but I didn't and now I have this mess. Can anyone offer any advice on how I can fix this?

Blue,<P>This suggestion won't deal with the root cause of your fiance's jealousy but it may help with some of the symptoms. When ever you encounter a male friend be aware of how much personal space you stake out for yourself. Make sure it is a larger circle then you think is necesary. When you encounter a situation like the one you described in your post you can snuggle up to your fiance. This will send posititve reinforcing signals to your finace and also speak loudly to the other male that you are attached and off limits. Just a thought!<P>Also have you two seen a counselor about your fiance's fears of abandonment? <P>Mud <><

Thanks Mudder - to date we have not been able to go to counselling together, because he believes this is my problem and that it is something that I am doing to him. He has some issues with anger management and at times like this (because he feels threatened, I suppose) he lashes out with such anger that I don't know how to calm him down. I do my best to physically demonstrate my being with him, however the incident in question involved us sitting in seats at a sporting event and I physically couldn't move any closer to him.<BR>I would like to be able to do something....to show him that I am working on not lovebusting, but I don't know what to do.

Don't marry him until he is willing to go through counsleing with you. It does not get better after the wedding but much worse. My sister's husband is this way. He checks the tire marks in the driveway for strange prints, the ashtray in the car, the before and after mileage of a trip to town, and on and on and confronts her on who has been at the house and what was she doing. She went shopping with her adult son and he accused her son of covering up and abetting an affair.<P>Love covers a multitude of sins but we are to be discerning!