My husband and I have been married for 5 months, but we've been together for 4 years . When I graduated high school, we moved in together and we lived together for 2 years before being married. I loved every minute of it. I didn't see that it was diffucult, and even now that we're married, it hasn't affected the way things are now. I actually consider it a good thing because if he had a bad habit I didn't know about before I married him and we didn't move in together, then I'd be sitting here right now annoyed and trying to get over the habit! Instead, I know eveything there is to know about him, and I beg to differ to the person who said the first year of marriage is the toughest- they obviously didn't live together first!
Hope this helps someone.

It sounds like things are good for you, so maybe you can answerthis for my as I posted me question in emotional but should of here, Would you of still married h if you found out he had an affair before hand? I do not know what to do.

Absolutley not! We both are strong believers in that. There's in no way that a person shoud seek someone else if they are united in marriage to someone else. There is NO excuse for that kind of behavior, especially if you are planning to spend your lives together. You do not deserve to be treated like that- noone does. With all the STD's and God knows what else going around, you can't let that into your home.
Does he know you know he's cheating? Maybe the cheating is a secret cry for help from him that he's not ready to settle down? Is there a chance you are pressuring him to get married?
Men are come as you are, come as you go kind of people. They don't like to be rushed into anything and they sometimes use ridiculous antics to get out of situations they don't want to be in. But, most do decide to spend their lives with someone and be totally faithful to her and only her.
So, for the most part, you need to tell him you know if he doesnt already, and you need to do what you know is right, regardless of how much you want to hold on.
I hope this helps...

Thank you- and yes he knows I know, he has told me and the ow has called me also, I am not quite sure but my heart is telling me that it migth be a good thing that it happened before the wedding as now we have a chance to seek counseling (we have already gone 2) I might not have mentioned that I am 24 and he is 25, been together 5 years and had some serious questions about us floating around at the time it took place, See I have been engaged prior to this realationship was for 2 years and never felt this way about anyone before even my ex, my BF has never had this relationship or anything even close to it and I think he freaked, I am by no means triing to excuse what he did or how badly he hurt me, but I wonder do you think that if we make it through this it will strengthen our bond? The other women is also being very harassing as we have had to file police reports and I hope that his relazation of love for me and her craziness will be enough to make him never want to stray again.

Well, first of all, you need to fix YOU.The emotions that you are dealing with inside and decide what you want to do. I wouldn't even talk to him about any of this until you do that one thing first. How can you deal with something if YOU don't even know how you feel about it all?
Next, you should talk w/ him and decide what you both want to do and so forth.
Lastly, if you both decide you want to try and make it work, you need to do something with the OW. If you have to, go to the police or whatever, but she HAS to get out of the picture. The relationship CAN NOT and WILL NOT grow if she's still lagging behind.It is important that you find oput and know for sure that he's not still cheating before you do all of this though. If you try and get rid of her and he says he's behind you on this but he's still sleeping with her, then that kind of defeats the purpose, and makes you look stupid, you know?
I know you love him and I totally understand how much b/c I love like that too. I would die for my husband even before we were married, but I can say, with total truth, that if he cheated on me, I would leave him without a second thought. It's all about strength. You have to be srong even after you let your gaurd down to someone.
Just do the right thing- what you need to do not what other ppl want you to do- and be strong.
Let me know what you do...

Well first off I know the affair has ended, we have filed a ppo on the ow and are waiting for a reply he has also filed paperwork @ work to keep her away from him, he also has applied for a transfer to a different location this could take up to 2 months, We are triing to work on our issues and the counselor seems to be helping. I have realized that the affair was caused by many problems in our own life, this does not excuse the affair but does lead us to now what to work on now, We realize that even though we love eachother we have also kept part of our lives to ourself and in a realationship this cannot or willnot work. I am triing to forgive however forgetting is a hole other story. Well for now we will keep seeingg the counselor and see where that goes also I am seeing a different counselor to help me with my issues as is he.