My lover and companion of 3 years just recently ended our relationship, I feel sick inside, I cannot eat, sleep, think, or function. I cry like never before in my life, for once I finally felt like I had met my soulmate, and it seems like after years of giving and hoping he'd ask me to marry him, he turned around and told me I wasn't good enough and that he could do better, I cannot have children and he use to tell me it didn't matter, then he turns around and tells me I'm half a person because of it,<P>I don't feel like I'll ever be able to love again, I don't know what to do, I have no one to talk to and no place to go which is how I ended up here on this message board seeking some kind of understanding, I made some mistakes, but I'm humane why is it that I cannot be forgiven.<P>Because of the financial situation I started my own business, and now when I go home from work, I make beautiful gift baskets and sell them on line hoping that this will at least help me to survive and I hope to bring happiness to others once they receive my products, but I haven't gotten one sell yet, and I feel like I'm going to lose something else that I've worked hard at,<P>can someone please tell me what to do or think, or say, I'm losin it!!!

I'd say don't depend on the net to promote your gift baskets. You need to have a flea market booth, a cart at the mall, or one or more florists, coffee shops, delis, or other businesses you supply. <P>Throw yourself into your business until your personal life shows some signs of rebounding. Speaking of bounding, find someone who's not a bounder and a cad. Maybe over on udate.com, where "want/don't want -- children" is one of the many qualifying questions that potential dates ask each other and answer--via filling out their profiles.

Three weeks ago, my wife told me our 12 year marriage was over. Like you I could not function. I lost 25 pounds in two weeks. Not one person has been able to help me. But I asked more than one, I asked hundreds and with all of their support I am moving forward. Interacting with people on this site has helped me a great deal. Some of these people have situations that makes ours look pretty small. The only way to go on is minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Try to find something positive in you life everyday and try to give your mind a break. It's a lot easier said than done. I will keep you in my prayers and ask that the Lord give you clarity and patience.<P>Love, Bill

I'm sorry you feel the need to be here but I am glad that you have found us. <P>Many of the people on this bulletin board have been through the very same emotions as you and we understand just how deep your pain must be. The loss of the one you love is so very painful.<P>What saddens me most, in your case, is that he would have the audacity to tell you that you are only half a person because you cannot have children. Don't you go believing that for one second. The ability to reproduce does not define your worth as a human. And while I do have children, I would never belittle anyone who cannot or who chooses not to.<P>Right now, what I would recommend is that you read and post here, read some of the books you see mentioned in various threads, and that you journal. Give yourself a safe place to pour out your feelings. In your journal, your words are safe from everyone else's eyes. No one is going to sit in judgement of you. I spent quite a bit of time in my Bible. (I found a lot of passages where I could read about God's feelings of anger, disappointment, and betrayal.) And I prayed a lot.<P>That doesn't mean that God fixed everything. My relationship did not meet with my desired results but I found peace like that I had never known. <P>You're in a safe place here. Hopefully we can help you find your way to peace.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited March 19, 2001).]