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Joined: Apr 1999
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NB, <P>I am glad you are not hurting too much. I fully appreciate you not tooting your horn, so to speak about your new relationship. <P>Thank you for continuing to support and care for others in their time of need. <P>I enjoyed your's and K's back and forth. It was very touching to me, too. You guys are great!
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Joined: Aug 1999
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K,<P>You see the problem is that Sheryl, just will not follow instructions. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif) Heck, I have tried telling how to live her life for almost as long as you, and I am her elder ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif) and she just doesn't want me running her life for her. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/shocked.gif) I just don't get. <P>Hi! Sheryl!!!! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>You know your are right. This would be a good place to start making the right decisions. Now if that D**n pancake didn't have two sides, it would be easy wouldn't it??<P>Hang in there girl, you are doing better than you think. I do have faith that you have learned a lot, and you will do the right thing as long as you are able.<P>God Bless,<P>JL
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Joined: Aug 1999
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Hi <B>JL</B>!! <jumping up and down- me, not you > <P>Thank you, as always, for caring, and for telling me "like it is"...<P>The respect I have for you is immeasurable...<P>God Bless YOU too!!<P>Sheryl<P><BR> (Just for fun!)<BR>
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Joined: Feb 1999
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Hi Maya<P>I mostly lurk these days also. Sorry to hear of your situation. I don't know which is worse. To stay married when you are miserable or to put up with the problems associated with divorce. I ended up divorced in Dec 99 (ex-wife's decision)and I hate what it does to the kids. Oldest son has been arrested. Youngest son failed 7th grade and had to go to summer school. Divorce is not what I wanted, but I have to be honest and say I really don't know if the marriage could have worked after wife's affairs.<P>Reagrds, Tom
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Joined: Feb 1999
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Hi Tom .... sorry to hear about your sons' situations. You realize of course that the D didn't necessarily drive them to these problems. You don't know that the continued STRESS of an unhappy marriage, fighting parents, etc. wouldn't have done the same thing.<P>Catch 22 ....<P>Take care.<P>
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Joined: May 1999
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Why would you assume that there were fighting parents, or that even if both parties thought the marriage was "unhappy" that the kids would think so too? My kids, even my older teens, had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA that anything was wrong until the night my H walked out. They have said that they always thought we loved each other, and never dreamed that their parents would divorce. The only difference they noticed during my H's affair was that their father seemed to be working more than usual - he often didn't get home till almost 7 and every 3rd weekend or so he went to "work" for most of Saturday - somehow I don't think that caused them a whole heck of a lot of stress. Even my H, who was motivated to try to justify his leaving, admitted that he was not surprised that the younger 4 children had no idea that anything was wrong.
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Joined: Aug 1999
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Nellie,<P>That was your situation... and I have no doubt that the realization hit you and your kids between the eyes.<P>Let me tell you that MY kids have said, over and over again: that they HATED the way their father treated me (hair pulling, yelling, making me cry, etc.)... they DEFINATELY knew that there was BIG TROUBLE between us...<P>Every situation is different...<P>But for the most part, I do agree that parents together (even amidst fighting) is probably better for the kids (especially young children - but yes, older too) than parents apart.<P>I've mentioned before that my parents seperated when I was 35 or so... made me feel like I was 5 again... I wanted my mom and dad together... <P>All of this is very tough... on everyone...
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