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Joined: Sep 2000
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<BR>Aren't you tired of the same courts and threats and blah blah blah?<BR>I am so exhausted and its been a few years!!<BR>I never seem to find someone who can listen and understand and dating HA<BR>Do you think i can have fun??<BR>Guys i have been dating always want to know are you going back?<BR>Can i move in?<BR>Why can't i meet the kid?<P>Doesn't anybody understand!!???

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I see what you mean. I think it's tough for guys who haven't been through divorce and don't have a kid to understand the issues and feelings. I wouldn't have, I know. Our divorce is my X's second divorce. For a long time, I was worried about her going back to her first husband.<P>That's why it can take a very long time to find someone who's worth committing to.

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<BR>It feels as though it is impossible.<BR>Ex says no one wants a woman with children.<BR>Is that spite?

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Hey! My ex said the same things. "No one wants a 32 yr old woman with 3 children!" (No matter how great I am! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<P>Sometimes I think he's right...<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by looking ahead:<BR><B><BR>It feels as though it is impossible.<BR>Ex says no one wants a woman with children.<BR>Is that spite?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>That is SPITE with a capital 'S'. I guess with capital everything else too. <I>I</I> want to meet women with children. I want my daughter to have wonderful step-siblings. Be glad he said this. It shows how desperate his feelings are.<P>The more kids you have, the tougher it is to find someone, true. At least you'll have fewer jerks to filter out.<P>Make yourself the appealing person that you are. Don't <I>need</I> anyone. New, genuine, love will come if you are patient and have your eyes and ears open and you listen to your feelings objectively.

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I'd prefer to meet a woman with kids, too. Since I am a guy with three kids, she'd know what having kids is all about (and she wouldn't want any more [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]). My second wife had one child- one of the reasons she gave for leaving was MY kids (and they're great kids)!

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Ditto that on finding a woman with kids. In my opinion that'll be one of my requirements in a woman. She'll have to have at least one child, in my estimation that'll be the only way she'll understand what it's like to be a parent. I don't think you can throw together a child and a potential partner and hope they'll know how to be a parent I just don't see that happening, although I could be wrong. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>

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But I stop and think....what if the man I meet has 3 or more kids of his own? That would make 6 or more kids in "our" family. Plus he would basically become a father to my kids since their father has very little to do with them. Is that fair to ask of any man? Even if he has 0 kids or 1 kid of his own. He would be very involved in their lives since they don't go to their dads on the weekends or any other time. <P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Joined: Jul 2000
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Mitzi,<P>Strictly speaking from my own point of view, I can see three main reasons that a man would shy away from a woman with three children:<BR>1. If the man wants children of his own and is afraid that you are done.<BR>2. If the man is afriad of taking the "father" role away from the kids biological father.<BR>3. Financial reasons.<P>I don't have any kids of my own and I would not shy away from dating a woman who did have kids. Aside from the financial aspect because I would want to provide in the best manner possible for the children, I don't think the number of children would really matter. It's not like I would only have enough love for 2 kids and not 10 [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>If you find a man who loves you for you, then he will love your kids as well for they are a part of you. Don't get discouraged. I'm sure your prince is out there somewhere. <P>

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On a lighter note, seems to me a Personals BB is needed here...<P>Of course, all the resulting relationships will be made up of people who are pissed at their exes. Maybe not the best place to be!

Joined: Sep 2000
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I think this is a fair topic to review.<BR>I never think about my child and my date meeting.<BR>This is my sensibility.<BR>I thought/think.<P>Afterall if i want him to meet her he is special. <BR>If he shows an interest it tends to werid me out.<BR>But when that happened i had only gone out with him<BR>3x. Too soon.<P>I get werided out and i constantly feel gaurded when does that go away!?<P>I want the best for my daughter.<BR>I want her to see a healthy relationship.<BR>She never will with her dad and i.<P>We've tried to reconcile.<BR>My latet punishment is withholding child support.<BR>Going on the 4th month now.<BR>I can't even buy her a bike.<BR>BUT guess what he can.<BR>(he knows my finacial state)<BR>I almost feel like he still cares.<BR>Isn't that wrong.<P>


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