Hi everyone,<P>I've been living over at the "emotional needs" board lately, and haven't gotten a chance to check over here. Glad to see you all!<P>DanaB,<BR>coming from experience...probably the only thing that has kept me from truly hating men is working with them. On the other hand, not alot of BS flies by me. Thats a good thing, and a bad thing too. You can say I'm no romantic--(not like I have to tell anyone HERE that )<P>...all those "little" truths. I usually find out they are not so little and it becomes much harder for good sense to step in once you are involved with someone. <P>Anna,<BR>I'm glad you were entertained.<P>Statue,<BR>Marriages are public record. If someone made the calls, then there they would find out soon enough whether they were glossing over the bad stuff.<P>711,<BR>good point. This has always been my dilemma. My second H could never let me live down my past. Actually, he never let me live down anything, but that's beside the point. My first H didn't care, and didn't ask. I told him about some things, he didn't punish me, but guess what? He was a sex addict who had slept with over 200 women by the age of 24 (I didn't know this before he married me). Now, you think there should be a balance in there somewhere. I have no idea how to find it. I'm just trying to be creative. <P>JL,<BR>My exes and long-term friends who know would be on the resume. I would ask my friends permission in advance, of course. If an insufficient # of friends were willing to be "interviewed", I wouldn't give out the DR. Would be kinda pointless.<P>You said you'd like to inquire why the marriage dissolved. You know what? If I knew the answer to that question, then I wouldn't be divorced. I don't think it is ever one thing. I would recommend calling my ex because there is no way *I* could do justice to my experience in the explanations. It is water under the bridge. The only reason why I'd give out my exes name is to prove I have nothing to hide. <P>SNL,<BR>I could go to a dating service if I wanted to, but I do also want the "gut" component as well. That is only assured if I see and talk to the person first. You don't get that with a dating service.<P>"I bet their are people on this very board who care...not me of course , so will you post the details here, or on a new thread?"<BR>I suppose a "didn't save it for marriage" would suffice for the ones that care. The odds of a guy asking ME out who thinks pre-marital virginity is important is slim to none. Mostly because those guys are usually insecure hypocrites (they usually are not virgins), and because I associate female pre-marital virginity with certain religions that are not likely to be supportive of a woman getting a PhD in mechanical engineering in the first place.<P>Even though I'm celibate now, I'm not looking for a big prize for it. On the other hand, I'm not interested in a guy who is my age and still has recreational relationships. <P>WIFTT,<BR>I replied to your post on the "emotional needs" board.<P>ovrcs,<BR>Sorry you are going through this junk. You seem to have a pretty good perspective on things though.<P>I know that others may not like my idea. However, I have noticed (as did JL) that both he and K liked it. There is another guy over on the emotional needs board that liked it too. All three of these characters are on their first marriage, have been married a long time, and appear to be pretty successful at it as well. Hmmmm. <P><BR>

JL,<P>You know, it seems the only people who ask me "why are you divorced?" are people who have never been divorced.<P>I take that back. There was one person I know who was divorced who asked. It turned out they were one of those people who blamed everything on their ex.