I hope someone out there can explain why, in Plan A do you have those days where you just get so ANGRY. Things have actually been going quite well with me and my husband since he moved out 5 long weeks ago. For some reason, today, I am so angry and have really taken it out on everyone today, including my husband.<P>He did really even do anything wrong. The only thing he really did today that could of set me off was, he did not call me this morning and he said he would and also, he forgot to pick our daughter up from school. Boy, this sure set me into a really angry mood. I guess I just related it to the fact that HE is still being selfish and only thinking of himself. Then I get so frustrated because I start really feeling how one-sided this Plan A stuff really is. I know it is to make me a better person too, but I am not very good at one-sided friendships, relationship, partnerships, etc. It is too frustrating.<P>Is there any explanation for the days where you can't seem to get over just being so ANGRY at the situation until you actually finally fall asleep.

That one sure rings a bell. You're not alone, I too have experienced that free floating anger at people that aren't even physically close to me.<P>But I'll be darned if I have an explanation for it. I guess I just had to spend some time banging on the car seats in frustration while driving down the streets. Or talking inside my own head to people that aren't even here.<P>They get less and less after a while. And sometimes I look back on it and realize that some of it just wasn't as important as it seemed at the moment. But going through it is a reality all to itself.<P>Prayers and stuff,<P>Bumper

Hello...<P>Boy can I relate... Michele, I do think some of it has to do with expectations... you expected him to call, pick up your daughter on time, etc... and when he didn't it triggered your anger. Is this a familiar pattern from your past also? It shows lack of the *basic* consideration on his part when you're bending over backwards... at least this is how I feel when something happens to me.<P>Ahhh, we have got to let go of the martyr approach as that will not satisfy either.<P>Good suggestions Bumper, though I've never been able to manage a conversation in my head! I'm so very verbal... part of the problem with H as he HATES my *dumping* as I try to process... he's more of an internal thinker before he speaks... Oh well.<P><P>------------------<BR><I>"You will deceive yourself into believing that if people, circumstances, and events had been different, your pain would not exist...Your pain is the concrete way in which you participate in the pain of humanity."</I> <BR>~ Henri Nouwen ~

Bumper and Nicole,<P>Thanks for the responses. You are both so right. I was just beginning to think I was actually starting to lose my mind. I wish I could express to my husband all that has gone on with me over that last two months so he can understand why I get so frustrated.<P>I wouldn't even know where to begin. But here is a start. Let's see, two of my favorite uncles have passed away, my mom and dad moved out of state, MY HUSBAND MOVED OUT, the world had an indescribable attack and then I was laid off last week. That, on top of our marital problems seems too much to handle on some days and I am still trying to provide a happy home environment for my three children.<P>I just wish I could get my husband to talk to me. He is a very internal person too. When we do talk, it is like a competetion to see who has really done the best/worst to the relationship. I expressed to my husband tonight that right now, whenever we do talk, he always has to leave. It is like everything he is doing is more important than us and it just urks me. I told him that if he and I just went away together ALONE for the weekend, we could get through this. I expressed to him that it would be a rocky road the first 8 hours to a day but in the end, I truly believe we could get to the bottom of all of our problems so we would know where to start rebuilding instead of one-uping each other all the time. He actually agreed to that and said that he would come over early on Sunday morning so we could spend the whole day talking. Is this going to be a good thing or bad thing? I really don't know but we have yet to finish a conversation in the 5 weeks we have been separated.<P>Any input would be greatly appreciated.<P>Thanks.<P>P.S. Nicole-I think I am married to your husband's identical twin brother.<P>Michele