Well, We all know that Valentines Day is coming and for some strange reason I still want to give something to my stbx. Am I crazy of just stupid!
She's the one I have a feeling is seeing someone else and yet I still love her and want to do some thing nice. Do the women out there think that she would appreciate this or just think in the back of her mind that I'm a chump. I hate having the feeling that she's laughin behind my back because she knows that I still love her. Are there any ohter guys doing the same dum thing? Would you or would you not give a gift.

Did you buy her things before on Valentines day?<p>Your still maried right? Then why not?<p>Why do you 'assume' she will think you are a chump? Why do you assume she's laughing at you behind your back? Or that she will?<p>are you in Plan A or Plan B? or neither? <p>If you do still love her then give her a gift..
it doesn't have to be anything expensive like a
dozen roses (that they jack the prices up on anyway) it could something as simple as a card..<p>think back to when you dated..did you have little quirky things you did for each other, any inside jokes that you two shared, that you could buy her something that would make her remember those times? Like..years ago it was a box of cracker jacks..or a ring from a bubble gum machine..is there something she's been wanting that she hasn't been able to find..like a piece of a collectable or something? <p>My d has this little boy who likes her..(first crush) he bought her a candy sucker ring at
a school dance..it's something simple..but it meant alot to her..<p>Are you musically inclined? Or did you ever sing to her? If so maybe make a recording of you singing her a song..<p>My 1st h wrote songs..never had any published or recorded..but he wrote them and put them to music..and one year..he wrote one for me..he couldn't sing..but..he got out his guitar and recorded it on a tape for me..he have me a recipe box our first christmas..he'd cut out little country houses and heart shaped pictures from magazines and decopauged them onto a metal box..and he took a piece of wood and cut it into a heart shape and decopauged a poem he liked on to it..those were some of the best gifts I've ever recieved..because they came from his heart..he didn't try and be pretentious w/ store bought things..that he paid a fortune for..but he gave from his heart..<p>So think about something that would trigger something from your past..a favorite song you shared..and you sing it karaoke for her? <p>I'm sure you have lots of photo's maybe make a scrapbook or photo album or your fun times together? and make little comments on the pictures about those times..and how you felt..<p>I know one of my d's school teachers collects pez dispensers..so his wife tries to find unique or new little pez things..for his collection..<p>So does she have a unique hobby or collection that
you could find something for??<p>I'll try and think of other simple things..that well, to me mean more than a dozen roses..

Well, I don't really know if she thinks those things its just a feeling I get. I love doing things for people when I know that they appreciate it. I know that it may sound selfish but I get great joy knowing that I am appreciated. It makes me want to do more for that person. I feel like a chump when I do something for someone and then notice that it didn't make a difference to that person. Examples I can give are things I did for my wife. For our third anniversary I bought her diamond ear rings. She said thanks and thats it, I did even get a card. I hate thinking like this because I know that it should come from my heart. I should give her anything and not expect anything back. It hurts now because my wife was very giving in the beginning of your relationship but now she isn't. I guess thats part of what I wish I had back in my relationship. It also hurts because she doesn't love me anymore so anything that I do maybe a waste of time.

TR is right, little things are better. My H gives me $200 necklaces, but is abusive and nasty the rest of the time, plus he hasn't noticed I wear more flannel than silk. He also gave me a box of chocolates 2 weeks ago and said "here's your Valentine". Did I mention I'm diabetic? Anyway, those things made me feel real loved...NOT. So, make sure your overall attitude is consistant with giving a gift. And make it something that she would really like, something to do with a hobby or interest that would be special to her. Don't make it look like you are trying to buy her affection, just that you really like her and want to make her happy.<p>Anna