So he's divorcing me, and having an A....does he still have the right to tell me how good I look in a pair of jeans? LOL Okay, I'm really not trying to pick here, but when he told me how nice my new jeans looked on me, it just hit me funny. He has no feelings for me, wants a divorce, is making the entire family miserable, and he's throwing compliments my way? Sorry, his fog is confusing me.

I feel it is a sort of statement that the WS tells to the betrayed spouse to say, your not that bad, but not good enough for me. This is how I felt, and I think it has some truth to it.<p>They have sinned, destroyed the family, made light of their affair, and they want you to look good, feel good about yourself, so you can move on. Truthfully, maybe you should just turn your head and not tell him anything. I know that is mean, but to say thankyou is just saying you are right. I don't know, but I am not that interested in what my H says about my jeans now. I was at the beginning, but now I know it was not a meaningful statement. It was a statement to make me feel good. <p>His OW, was 150 some pounds. When I was at my highest I was 150. H seemed to think there was something wrong with my weight, but he adored her weight and caressing her fat, and enjoying touching everything with that amount of weight on. So that is why I feel the way I do, he didn't see anything wrong with her, and for her to be close to 200#, I think she probably has a lot of loose skin, stretch marks, and flab. Exercise won't disguise that much weight loss, and especially the stretch marks. My H has a lot of stretch marks across his lower back from the weight gain he has had. I don't mention it to him, cause he never sees it, so why tell him. But knowing how much weight he gained, and to know that she was that heavy, she had to have a tremendous amount of stretch marks. But he was able to bypass the stretches and have physical sex with her anyway.<p>To shorten statement, he has the right to tell you what you want, but you are to take it with a grain of salt. The WS is not trustworthy, they lie, and deceit and manipulate.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> I feel it is a sort of statement that the WS tells to the betrayed spouse to say, your not that bad, but not good enough for me. This is how I felt, and I think it has some truth to it. <hr></blockquote><p>That's what it felt like to me. Indeed, I didn't say anything, just glanced at him, and I heard him mutter, "you're welcome" at me when I left the room. I guess I was supposed to be grateful. I just have a hard time pretending like all is fine and dandy, and we can go on our merry ways, now. I have a hard time accepting a compliment from someone who says he has no feelings for me. I know, I'm not following Plan A very well, but he gave me like a week before we went in a drew up the divorce papers. He's in a hurry. LOL

Really? Is that why? I was wondering that myself being that my H left me about 3 months ago, and I am 5 months pg. Almost everytime he comes here he tells me how "cute" or "good" I look. Meaningless, that is how it feels.<p>I usually post in pg and child since this is his second affair, but have started feeling lately that I belong over here. Hello all....<p>broken_wings

Welcome broken wings.<p>When my [censored] says something nice it is always because he thinks he might be able to get something nice. He was so nice to me on Christmas Eve that I gave him something nice. Then he gave me something not so nice. Hello doctor, hello antibiotics, hello blood draws for HIV and all those other pretty little germies. <p>Never again will I respond to anything nice he says. <p>Never never never.<p>I bet you did look nice. But then again, you always look nice. Take it with a grain of salt and don't follow my example.<p>Elizabeth

I did look nice, but I certainly didn't respond. He went out for another 1.5 hour talk with the bimbo tonight, and when I confronted him about it, and told him his children learned from him, he had the nerve to tell me they didn't????? His main concern was who I had told what and whether I was going to end the mediation procedure. I told him I had no intention of doing so unless my lawyer advised otherwise, but that didn't mean I was going to trust him about anything.

BW - I can feel for ya. My mom says she had a horrible feeling he was going to leave me after the 4th kid was born. I'm sorry, but men like this are just sick.