The subject may sound wierd to you, but let me explain.

I was married at the age of 19 (X was 18), we had dated for 2 years. We were married for 13+ years. Last fall we were 'separated' - Sept and divorced in Dec. After the divorce I was able to be on my own and really had a lot of time for prayer and reflection. It was during this time that I realized the divorce was a mistake and that I loved her and wanted her back.

It only took a few weeks to realize this, but I didn't want it to seem like I rushed into a decision to her. So, I waited til mid Jan. to tell her I wanted to try again. Up to that point, we had polite emails back and forth to each other. But me telling her what I felt changed all that.

She told me she had moved on and was 'serious' with another man (gee, that was fast). She told me that I should have realized this during our time of separation because she always said after the divorce, that's it. But she never stopped to realize that during the separation, it was I that had to deal with the following:
1. working OT at a job I knew I was getting laid off from.
2. searching for another job
3. I stayed in the house responsible for cleaning for every time the house was to be shown (selling it) it and packing everything up to move.
4. I had to take car of both dogs and the yard work.
5. Finding an apt to stay at that allows large dogs (not as easy as it sounds).

So, she refuses to acknowledge that I was caught up in a lot and didn't have time to 'reflect' and listen to Gods advice the way I should have been. Up to this point we had NEVER been apart during our 13 year marriage.

So, anyway, some suggested that my X wasn't seeing anyone else and it was just to get back at me. I have found out that she IS seeing someone else and even moved away to be with him. We have even broke off all contact 'permanently' because she feels 'guilty' talking to me while she has a serious bf.

If anyone can fill me in on why she never wants to talk to me again, when prior to me telling her I wanted her back it was fine ??

But the big part of this post is for anyone out there that has never gone through a separation or divorce. Please do not rush into anything with anyone else. Whether my X wants me back or not, I think it's a BIG mistake for her to have rushed into something with someone else, but I have always thought she is not the type to like being alone and this confirms it.

It's too late for me, I have accepted that I will never talk to her again. As 2 Christians I don't understand it, but I have accepted it. It's been 3 months without contact. It's been 5 months since I've seen her (we once swapped dogs because we had 2 and each got one).

Sure, it hurts that she moved on so easily (at least that's how it appears to me) when I am the one that realized my mistake (D was initially my idea). Half my life was spent with her and I never got a 2nd chance. Not really anyway. And as 2 Christians I do feel I should have been given a 2nd chance.

Live and learn. My X put in the work (of making me better) and someone else is going to get the result.

Whoever she is with must be special for her to blow off a 13 year marriage and all the times we spent together. She played a large role in my salvation and I honestly believe Satan had a role in keeping my thoughts elsewhere during the separation. I believe God stepped in post-divorce and woke me up and re-prioritized my life. But, my X was past the point of no return.

Sorry, just rambling I guess. I didn't go on a date until a month ago and that was at the request of everyone around me to move on. My first date was a bust and that night I had a dream that me and my X got back together.

Then I was setup on another blind date. I called her first and we talked for 30min. That night I had a dream that me and my X got back together.

I had a lunch date with girl #2 and it went well. No dream this time. I think waiting the 6 months post-D was the smart thing to do for both me and any girl I am going to date. I think my X should have done the same thing. I think it might cost her in the long run. I hope not, though for her sake.