FIrst time posting to the divorcing/divorced board. Have posted in the past to PlanA/B and Recovery but it's been awhile since my last post.

My H moved home in July after yet another short1 1/2 month sep. Really felt like his A was dieing that natural death. We had many happy times and some difficult. Thought things were on the right track. To make things worse my mother passed away on Aug 5th. Then on Aug 20th my H asked for the divorce. I was a liitle surprised but not totally. The reason, since we came back home after dealing the all the funeral stuff my H was very distant with me. Way more than ever before. I asked what was wrong and told him that I was there if he needed to talk. He said everything was fine, then on the 20th he dropped the bomb.

Now mind you, this is only (LOL) about the 4 time we he has asked for a divorce. However, I feel this time it's for good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I am empty inside. Part of me wants him to come back again and the other side is telling me to move on. It's been a year of pain, up and down, broken promises and heartache. He treated me ok at times but not like I want to be treated and probably not like I deserved.

SO, my question is why do I still harbor hope? And how do I learn to move on, stop hurting and stop crying?

need2bhappy,

I too am still realing from "the announcement" but have decided that it's time for me to move on. I was greatly helped in that decision by the book (suggested by someone else here) Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. It helped me figure out what is really best for me. It's still painful but at least I now have a direction.

I don't know how well I'm going to survive the pain but am giving myself as much help as I can. I'm currently seeing a counselor (hey, I'm paying her to let me cry, then I don't have to burden all my friends), and will be attending a divorce support group starting next month.

In addition I'm trying to do a least one nice thing for myself everyday - a walk, some flowers, singing (I almost forgot how!), whatever, just something that I enjoy.

I wish I could help with your pain but at least know that you are not alone and we all can get through this and on to better lives!