As you may see in an earlier post... I am just dating this girl and yes I wanted some opinions. She is 21 and I am 32. I asked for a few opinions and did I get them only one for doing this. Remember I am only dating her.... it took me 6 years to marry my wife so why would I jump in and marry a 21 year old right away... I am not a 'rebounder' and have no intention of getting DEEPlY involved anytime soon. But I feel it is OK to have fun after all I am healing.. or am healed.... I no longer miss my wife...she might as well have killed me this past winter... now she is on the other side of the fence... her life is now F'd up and I am glad... I gave her over four months to quit her affair and she did not. I moved on and ain't movin back.

Thanks

You asked for advice and you got it!

I too remember being 21 and being "hit" on by 30+ yr old men. I thought it immensely STRANGE but might go out to lunch to humor them. I had NO idea what I wanted much less a serious relationship.

I've heard (from a divorce group at my church) that for every four yrs you've been married you need one year to heal before moving into another relationship... has this been the case for you? This isn't an exact science but it's a guideline for consideration... marriage is a bond and though you've moved on - good for you, by the way - you need to heal.

Being in a new relationship may well stroke your ego and make it seem like you're healing when in fact, it also may simply be licking your wounds... instead of being the balm of healing that is really required.

In any event, only YOU know the scenario in all it's fullness. You came to this forum to ask for other's opinion (or maybe other's blessing) and you got that, people's opinion.

Value the honesty given, use it as a chance to reflect on what really is going on and then decide for yourself!

Cheers,
Nicole

Very well said Carol.

It does seem Mr Hurt is rebounding. The relationship with the younger girl seems to be for EGO] (look at me know).

You are still hurting, hurt people, hurt people </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> her life is now F'd up and I am glad... I gave her over four months to quit her affair and she did not. I moved on and ain't movin back.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This sounds like a scorn person, if you read SAA and basic principals there would be no way you would rejoice in you wifes pain inspite of what she has done.

When you have grown spiritually you don't want to see no one hurt. Just my opinion.

Did you do a perfect PLAN A PLAN B from the looks of it I don't thinks so you did a big LB

<small>[ October 29, 2002, 02:35 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Hurt,

Don't let age stereotypes get in your way.

The important things remain the same - no matter what the age.

But, considering your GF's youth, you need to figure out how mature she is - how ready she is to be in a serious relationship.

I would say
1) Make sure your GF is emotionally and financially independent of her parents.
2) Make sure she is a person who is capable of following through on commitments.
3) Make sure she has thought about the implications of the difference in age (taking care of you when you are old, impending baldness, etc.)
4) If she wants you to "take care of her", it is likely that after awhile she will feel trapped by her dependency. Ideally, she should be financially independent before entering into any serious relationship.

If she passes those tests, then just take it slowly.

-AD

<small>[ March 24, 2003, 02:20 PM: Message edited by: AD ]</small>