Well, today was supposed to be our 15th wedding anniversary and I signed the lease on my new apartment today. It's not been a fun day to say the least.

It's been approximately 6 weeks since I discovered my W's affair. She immediately broke it off, but says she needs the "time and space" that living together can't provide. Whatever that means.

Pray for me folks! I really need all the support I can get right now.

Don't really have much to say, except that you're among friends here at MB who can sympathize and understand what you're feeling now. I assume you've read everything on this site, in order to get a plan going. I suggest making sure you're with friends (in person) who understand and can be around you tonight. Do something special for yourself, to make the day seem not as depressing. (sorry this is being answered so late in the day)

Prayers and biggie hugs to you..(((((((((((())))))))))))))))).

Focus on your new space. It can be fun changing your decorating style. Watch those shows about decorating and make it fun. Changing spaces on BBC I believe is really funny. Will pray for your w. Remember that fog is thick. Fog rolled in on my WH two years ago and hasn't rolled out...But I am moving forward.

Wild Horse,

We share the same anniversary date - 22nd for me. WH didn't even call.

You will be in my prayers.
God is mighty.

God Bless,

D.

Wild Horse -

I hope that you made it through yesterday........

Sounded like a really tough day.

If you want to know what your wife is going through - read Surviving an Affair by Harley. It talks all about what is currently happening in your life - and in this type of situation, knowledge is power.

You need to read the info. on the MB site and learn as much as you can, because it will help you decide how you want to act in this situation.

From a legal standpoint - you moving out does not seem like a good idea - if you have kids it could show that yo uare abandoning them - even if wife asked you to leave. It could also possibly hurt your change of keeping the house, and the property in it.

I would contact an attorney - and find out your rights in this matter - you don't have to file for divorce or anything, but please protect yourself financially.

With all of the emotions that you are experiencing right now, sometimes it's very dificult to take care of yourself.

Make sure that you have a support system to turn to during this time too - family, friends, a counselor, church group, priest/minister, and especially God.

It sounds like your wife isn't happy because she is in withdrawal. WIthdrawal is a VERY POWERFUL emotion and many WS's - see a post on the acronyms here(WS = wayward spouse) can't make it through. It takes at least 3 weeks for the main pain of separation from the OP (other person) to start to diminish and then even longer for the attachment to fade.

Right now, although she says that she needs space - what she really needs is YOU there helping her through this. Doing a Plan A - meeting her needs so that she knows there is someone else to love her and to help her be strong and not go back to the OP.

In fact - if it's been 6 weeks and she still wants you to move out - I would bet the farm that she has already resumed contact with the OP and just wants you out of the picture so that she does not have to feel so guilty around you and can operate a relationship without having to sneal around in front of you.

Please educate yourself on affairs, read His Needs Her Needs by Harley too - or at least the info, on this site and arm yourself with the info. you need so that you can be prepared to make some good decisions.

My prayers are with you. God will be with you and give you the strength that you need to get through this, so don't forget to turn to Him. K

<small>[ November 02, 2002, 07:52 AM: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</small>

How are you doing today? It seems as if there have been quite a few anniversaries latley, non of them too happy.

Remember that you have a large support group here, all of willing to 'talk' whenever you need it.

If you can, please post an update to let us know how you have made it through this rough thime.

Sincerely,
Me

I'm doing alright, but things are still pretty rocky. W is playing a lot of mind games trying to put the blame on me for her affair. I'm not accepting ANY responsiblity for it though.

W is also accusing me of threating her whenever I stand up to her concerning the seperation agreement. So, it's still very rocky, but I'm making it through.

I think that right now, the hardest part is setting up the new place and telling family and friends about what is happening. Those parts are definitely not an enjoyable experience.