I have been here a long time, though my H affair, seperation, and what turned out to be false recovery. I am finnaly moving to this board and moving on with my life. I am working though a book on endings and wondered if we might talk about it here and maybe work though it together.

The book is Coming Apart, by Daphne Kingma. It has sereral exercises that she reccommends writing out and proceessing the relationship through to get past it.

Is any one interested in my posting them and going though them? I will give you the first one now so you can see. I realize this is very personal stuff, so maybe we can just do a general discussion of it on here.

Exercise 1 Telling the love story.

Tell the story of how you met, and fell in love. What attracted you. What there was that seemed to reonate with some deep wish or need of yours.

Tell about the early stages of your relatioship, your feelings, your expectaions.

Write about the clue of failure. In every relationsjip there is a little clue that registers and is disregaurded. It tunes you into the fact that something will go wrong eventually, that the relationship isnt going to last forever.

Lora,

*** Great Idea I'll post later once I get my little one to eat something ,and rock him to sleep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ November 02, 2002, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: BetrayedByMyBestFriend ]</small>

Lora,

I just have a minute. I am sorry I have not been able to keep up with you. There are just too many people and new ones every day! I was surprised to see this post. So as not to highjack the intent of this post, if you have time, please do post a separate update to bring me and others here up to speed oh what has happened. We started around the same time, and I was surprised to see you here today, as I thought you were well along in recovery.

Desiree

I'm in, Lora. I purchased the book and should have it by Wednesday.

This is an excellent idea. Thank you for thinking of it, and starting the Group. It's badly needed IMHO. At least for me it is.

Lv,
Jo

p.s. Do we need a name for the group?

I like this idea but don't know when I'll get the book or be able to do it.

I'm down to 1 computer;however it belongs to OS & in his room but the interenet connection is mine.

But I'll try to keep up.

Lora, sorry to see you here but nice to see your name.

Jo, as always a pleasure to bump into you.

I just wanted to jump in and tell you that this is SUCH a good idea... and how I wish I'd done it before jumping headlong into another relationship!

This is going to change your lives... I can feel it already. Hope it's okay that someone (um, I mean "me") can watch and learn along with you?

Best wishes on this new leg of your journey!

well, seems like there might be some interest to work on it with me. I will start a seperate post and call it coming apart exercise 1.

Sing, Ill post the exercises so you dont have to buy the book.

Sheryl, always glad to have your imput. do it along with us. I dont think being in a new relationship disqualifies you from needing to put a final end to your old one. She says sometimes people do this years after... better to do it then to stuggle with it all the way through your new relationship isnt it?

Desiree, I posted my update, the shortened version anyway. Thanks for caring.

Betrayed, come join us.

Oh Lora,

Thank you for the invitation.

I may jump in on some of the exercises publicly, but avoid others - simply because I am now married and would hate my husband to accidently stumble across mine and David's love story, for example. I would sure hate to read his with his ex.

But you are ABSOLUTELY correct in that it can be done anytime - that makes PERFECT SENSE... so I will try to participate whenever possible. I may just do some of them privately, if that's okay.

I will give this some thought... it really does sound AWESOME and HEALING. Don't we all need that?

Again, thank you for including me.

<small>[ November 03, 2002, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]</small>

Well, this resonates with me. If y'all don't mind, I'll track this post and chime in when I can... I think "working through to an ending" is exactly where I'm at...

Have been in Plan A and a modified Plan b at times and really, I'm just plain losing any love I had for the guy... so it's nice to structure this and go through to the end.

Thx!
Nicole