Well - <P>I felt so strong until this morning. I felt like something was wrong so I called my inlaws. I have a great relationship with them - I am very lucky! I found out my H grandfather died - although he has been estranged from the family for a while, everyone still loves him and my H used to be very close to him. <P>Anyway, I spoke to my H. I felt like he is trying to keep me from his family. This is one of the hardest things! This sent me for a loop. I love my H and want to be there for him, but I can't - OW is. Even if he isn't seeing her, they work together. I know she doing what I would be doing under these circumstances. <P>I have kept the pain at bay all week - this is too much! I want all this to end one way or the other. <P><P>------------------<BR>H

You're still married. Your H's family is still your family, not the OW's. If you want to go to the funeral, go.<P>We had this situation last year while we were separated. My H wouldn't have had the OW with him, but I told him his Uncle Leo was someone I always enjoyed visiting with and I wanted to be there with my (his) family. This was across the state and my H took me and our daughters along.

Well, my weak moment has passed. Now i am angry again ~ to think that he is trying to keep me away from his family. The reason I am sure he didn't want me to go is because it is a 12 hour drive. With a 16 mo old, you really need to split that into 2 days. <P>His family loves me like there own child and they also think H is making a big mistake that he will regret one day. They won't tell him that, but they are so diappointed in him. I just keep telling myself... I will be happier no matter what happens and if we divorce the only bad thing for me is having to share my son for visitation. H is the one loosing out. He will miss most of son's life unless we always live in same area and I bet we don't. Son misses out because real father is not part of day-to-day life, but I will remarry and have someone else in my life that will be a better father anyway. So the only real looser will be H - he will end up will ralationship with someone else not much different than ours, but he won't see son often and have lost a boat load of money (and I don't even plan to take him to the cleaners). <P>See, I feel better. <P>------------------<BR>H

dhj - <BR>Curious - you had posted abouth talking with DR. H - how is that going - we just started yesturday - next appt next week - curious to know if it has helped or not ? <P>csco <BR>

We talked to him together once. My H liked him better than the person we had been seeing. However, he said until he was able to commit to the marriage it would be a waste of money. I talked to him one time after that. Harley told me unless H was willing to work on marriage or if I had questions on how to proceed, that I need not call.<P>I hope you have luck - I feel he is good. You just have to have willing parties.<P>------------------<BR>H