I am a woman who has recently gone into 'withdrawal'. After struggling through some major marital difficulties all seemed well. Then it all went horribly pear shaped.<P>This site gave me enough hope to summon strength to try to sort things out.<P>We want to fill out the emotional needs questionnaire but aren't sure how. 3 weeks ago we were both quite happy. Should we answer the questions based on how things generally were or should we answer it based on how we feel at this precise moment? For example, 3 weeks ago my husband was happy with the level of affection he recieved and now, obviously, he's not.<P>I expect most of you out there are far more knowledgeable than us - please give us the benefit of your expertise as soon as possible! Your help will be most gratefully recieved so that we can get started on the road to recovery! Many thanks in anticipation of your help.

Fill it out based on your current feelings. Go over them honestly, but without placing blame, anger, etc. Then a a day or two later, go to the next step (giving your spouse several very clear, specific directions on how to meet each of your to ENs...say top 5). Then after a couple of weeks, review how it is going, chnge as needed.<P>Basically, your ENs will change over time, so you do this every now and then & each time base it on current situation and feelings...<P>Hope this helps.<P>Kathi

Thanks Kathi - now we can get started! I expect that will raise more questions so I'll probably be here again soon!<P>Biddy