I just let go of my wife.

4 months ago my W said she didn’t love me any more and wanted me to move out.

I struggled all this time to find a reason. I found the MB site 3 months ago and started practicing the principles, 6 months too late. She has always been stubborn, I think she thinks you cannot learn about this stuff from books. I got obsessed in finding a reason and focused on infidelity, looking, sneaking & spying. I gathered lots of evidence but nothing she could not find another story to cover up. I am ashamed of what I did. I just wanted the truth so I could either forgive her, get angry or leave. I didn’t know what I wanted until I had the truth. I still don’t have the truth but now it doesn’t matter.

Last night I talked to her, between swings of emotion and loud talking, I finally felt a change. I had let go. I think she did her best to explain to me why, her stories still don’t match the evidence I collected but all of a sudden it changed, I felt it. I gave her my wedding ring and asked her to put them together for safe keeping.

Last night was the first time I have left after talking to her without crying or having suicidal thoughts.
The feelings I have for her are different now. I can live with this. I hope she is happy.

I have let go.

I'm with you Bugalugs, I'm getting real close to that point too.. I really do hope you are okay. I know how I am feeling and its easy to say its all good even when its really not. Best wishes.

Here's praying that God will minister healing to your broken spirit and bless you with a new heart
of flesh. A heart after Him!

Get wisdom. Things will take a while to stabalize for you, things don't change right away when your alone, but things will get better and you will be able to move on, soon you will be thinking happy thoughts and be doing and going places and doing things to enhance your life as a single person.

Just Keep on Keeping on! knowing the sun still shines for you..actually you probably even feel clean and free with no baggage!
God bless you.

Hi Bugalugs,

I've felt that feeling before but just like the other say things don't change over night but it will and that's where I'm at too. Theres times I jump off the rollercoaster and then I wake up oneday or snap out of a daydream during the day and find myself right back on. Maybe it'll be different for you but just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you didn't walk out of there crying and having thoughts of suicide becasue that can make a difference between a good day and a bad one.
I'll be praying for you that your healing continues towards the way it's headed now.

Depressed

Its weird how that happens.....you try and try to make things work and understand a torn marriage and the affairs and all the garbage. Then, one day you just POOF change and you basically feel dead towards the wayward spouse. I tried to keep my marriage together, but after months of rejection and the OM being allowed to come around my children......BOOM! instantly I just didnt love my EX anymore. I WANTED out then. I couldnt wait to be free. No more headaches, no more stress, no more pressure. What a relief!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Its been 2 days now, I'm back on the anti-sad pills. A tear comes to my eye each time I say 'I let go'. I no longer feel sad about 'us'. I haven't even been spying which is a relief.

I have to find a way to be an out of house father, and one day I may be able to take the kids while she meets with him, but not yet.

I still wish for the truth, I want the chance to be able to forgive. But I think the truth is something I will never know. I suspect she has done something that she can never tell anyone except him, well I guess he knows as he was part of it.

You're right, it went 'POOF' all of a sudden a weight came off my shoulders.

Over and out,
Bugalugs.

I've also let go after a month of appeasement and being lied to constantly. I let WW stay in our home for a month while I poured out my heart to her asking her to work on our marriage thinking she had ended her affair. She said she did. Wasn't to be. The affair was continuing under my nose and I told her not come home. I also fired her from her job. Finally after taking a stand I feel a HUGE weight off my shoulders like all of you. I can BREATH again feel some self-respect and ponder a future without deceit, lies, emotional abuse, constant sadness and wondering if she'd ever come back to me. I realize now that if she doesn't change her ways and come back that I will live! Yeah!!! I can become a better person and be HAPPY!!!!. Wow.
------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WS 47
married 24 years
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Informal separation 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out

<small>[ June 04, 2003, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: Joquin1 ]</small>